Porn is not an option

[GBS]

Ah….I think my message came out wrong. My point was that when I started reading up on the no masturbation thing which was 18 months ago, I found that there seemed to be some who just referred to it as NoFap and others were saying No masturbation (including no ejaculation at all), then there seemed to be this separate group who were talking about “semen retention “ as if there was a distinction. And the SR crowd seemed to embody those knucklehead traits as if there were different types of non masturbaters. I guess I was just plain wrong or I misunderstood. Apologies for unclear message.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Ah….I think my message came out wrong. My point was that when I started reading up on the no masturbation thing which was 18 months ago, I found that there seemed to be some who just referred to it as NoFap and others were saying No masturbation (including no ejaculation at all), then there seemed to be this separate group who were talking about “semen retention “ as if there was a distinction. And the SR crowd seemed to embody those knucklehead traits as if there were different types of non masturbaters. I guess I was just plain wrong or I misunderstood. Apologies for unclear message.

There was definitely no distinction between masturbation to porn and masturbating in general when I was an active member of reddit no fap, desperately trying to quit "masturbation" because this is what I thought I was addicted to after reading a "macho" article. At that time I had no idea wtf masturbation meant. And for some reason, there was little talk about porn on that reddit. I remember I wrote something about porn, but trying to explain why people maybe shouldn't watch it, without being able to bring the science because I didn't know about porn addiction, it was just my fed up experience with porn, and people were trying to argue why I was full of shit. Yeah, it's funny to think about it now. I guess they finally realized that we don't try to abstain from masturbation, as I believe people who binge normal, vanilla masturbation in a day are rare, but we actually want to quit porn.

*Edit: I edited the first paragraph.

 

[Androg]

That has never been my impression: https://nofap.com/articles/nofap-is-not-anti-masturbation/

But the subreddit is kind of a different world, I guess.

 

[Blondie]

To suggest otherwise strikes me as more propaganda from the sex/porn industry.

I'm sure money has nothing to do with it, just good intentions and science.

You know, my opinion is that semen retention can be good for some things but it depends if you want or need it.

Hey @Escapeandnevercomeback, I agree with this. I think everyone should just try it at least once in their life and see how it works for them, especially if they've been porn addicts. I think anything like this can become heated and fraught with "gospel" like evangelism, with everyone fighting over who has the largest libido, the right technique, and the biggest blue balls in the hierarchy of bluer balls, but that's not my interest in it at all. Quite frankly, I just like that it's different than normal sex and I've always had a thing for "weird" and different ideas, and I'll be the first to laugh at myself if it turns out I'm not Superman by the end of the 30 days.

But all joking aside, the whole porn thing is probably 10% of my interest in this, and all the other aspects are what draw me to it. Throughout my entire life, women, crushes, and my Lady obviously, have always been my greatest source of energy, bar none, thus, to hold that energy in for a set certain amount of time and use it for other things instead of "getting off" for a quick nut, always has amazed me in what I can accomplish in a short time. Think about it, get some guys working on some boring office project or construction job or whatever, and it's easy to imagine no one gives a fuck but they are just there to get a paycheck and nothing more. However, add a beautiful woman into the mix and the whole atmosphere changes instantly. You know what I'm talking about! Now, even the regular joe is working harder than ever just to impress the woman, even if he has no chance with her, hell, even if he has a woman and is happy with her, he still has that drive to impress her. What is this? That's life and THAT's your sex drive and it has literally crated the world we live in, both the good and the bad. Think about it, all the beautiful things in the world, poetry, art, gothic cathedrals and the greatest religions in the world; just think that sex is behind them all and the drive for men to get "some". Obviously, porn takes this drive right out of us men, but over ejaculating can do this too, even with a woman you love, thus, my experimentation with this over the years.

Semen literally creates life as we know it, and young men these days are being told that spilling that life force everyday is a good thing. Maybe young men would actually find the meaning of life if they weren't spilling it vacuously everyday.

, I experienced more energy, less anxiety, more involved in talking to people, sometimes I was the only one flying around like an UFO at work (on night shift!), and I liked that, it can be good if your goal is to have more energy for example but I guess you need to have something to do with that energy because otherwise it turns into urges for porn.

From what I've experienced in the times I've done this in my life, that was what happened to me as well. I just had more energy, and yes, you have to find something to do with it or you'll get yourself into trouble.

By the way, fuck everyone who preaches semen retentions and uses thumbnails from Instagram on their Youtube videos. It doesn't make any sense to me to tell me don't ejaculate but here is a picture from Instagram for you so you can experience mad urges. Fuck all the stupid clickbait era. But anway, this last paragraph is my rant.

Yes and yes! God I can't tell you how many times I've watched videos or read articles and was left wondering what exactly were they shooting for with that picture splashed on the front page? Fuck, who am I kidding, I'm no naïve cowboy, they were shooting for click bait and they got it. Three weeks ago I would have just laughed it off if I saw something like that (that's what 700 days will do for you) but unfortunately after the relapse, this was a real temptation a few days ago. But what are you going to do? Live under a rock for the rest our lives? No thanks! The buck stops here.

Anyway Blondie, keep up the good work, man! One day (or night) of relapsing doesn't return you back to 0. If you have 600 days streak, you can roll it a little back to 570 let's say and continue from there.

Thanks brother, much love

 

[one_man_canoe]

I've been reading material at Recovery Nation, which has been very helpful to my recovery over the years, check it out if you've never been there. The first five lessons in the workshop is where a lot of this is coming from. It's all free too by the way.

This is a really good resource, glad to have seen your post about it. I've been working through the first three lessons this past fortnight (slow, I know). Thanks!

 

[EarthWalker]

I feel like adding my 2 cents on the noFap/SR topic.

Maybe there is a technical difference between noFap and SR.

With noFap to me, it is you just don't put energy into masturbation. No masturbation. Simple. You simplify your life. You have more energy to spend on yourself, your life, your partner, etc. You are free to have sex with ejaculation on nofap. Just no masturbation. You say no to being alone in your room and fapping. Simple.

With SR to me, the idea is you can still engage in masturbation, play around with arousal, lust, orgasm, sex but it is without ejaculation. In my view this can get quite complex. Like you can have sex but don't ejaculate, or masturbate but don't ejaculate. There are some books on how to do this and some esoteric practices. In my view, this is for the most part distorted teaching as the underlying motivation might be - want to have pleasure without paying the price for it. Maybe this is why some SR folks put images of hot girls in the videos. The idea is you can have the orgasm/pleasure but you will not pay the energetic price for it via ejaculation. Like the ultimate hack. Multiple-male-orgasm, achievable alone in your room with some esoteric energy practices - go buy my book, go buy my workshop. Yeah, nah bro.

Maybe there is some black-and-white thinking on my part. I don't know. I just know to follow my intuition. I feel like playing around with SR while still wanting to have an orgasm from masturbation is a recipe for disaster. Maybe there are some people out there who can do that. Kudos to you. But from my own experimentation. Cost/benefit, the complexity added to ones life. It is better for me to keep thing simple. Sex or masturbation without ejaculation. Maybe this is the path for some... Maybe you can boast about this stuff. I think a happy relationship is worth more than some pleasure if we are to quantify things. Anyway.

 

[Androg]

I feel like adding my 2 cents on the noFap/SR topic.

Maybe there is a technical difference between noFap and SR.

With noFap to me, it is you just don't put energy into masturbation. No masturbation. Simple. You simplify your life. You have more energy to spend on yourself, your life, your partner, etc. You are free to have sex with ejaculation on nofap. Just no masturbation. You say no to being alone in your room and fapping. Simple.

With SR to me, the idea is you can still engage in masturbation, play around with arousal, lust, orgasm, sex but it is without ejaculation. In my view this can get quite complex. Like you can have sex but don't ejaculate, or masturbate but don't ejaculate. There are some books on how to do this and some esoteric practices. In my view, this is for the most part distorted teaching as the underlying motivation might be - want to have pleasure without paying the price for it. Maybe this is why some SR folks put images of hot girls in the videos. The idea is you can have the orgasm/pleasure but you will not pay the energetic price for it via ejaculation. Like the ultimate hack. Multiple-male-orgasm, achievable alone in your room with some esoteric energy practices - go buy my book, go buy my workshop. Yeah, nah bro.

Maybe there is some black-and-white thinking on my part. I don't know. I just know to follow my intuition. I feel like playing around with SR while still wanting to have an orgasm from masturbation is a recipe for disaster. Maybe there are some people out there who can do that. Kudos to you. But from my own experimentation. Cost/benefit, the complexity added to ones life. It is better for me to keep thing simple. Sex or masturbation without ejaculation. Maybe this is the path for some... Maybe you can boast about this stuff. I think a happy relationship is worth more than some pleasure if we are to quantify things. Anyway.

Some report that relationships are happier when partners retain their sexual energy.

 

[Blondie]

Day 14 (1971 days of freedom)
Day 14 of no O
Day 14 of no alcohol
54 cold showers

Ah….I think my message came out wrong. My point was that when I started reading up on the no masturbation thing which was 18 months ago, I found that there seemed to be some who just referred to it as NoFap and others were saying No masturbation (including no ejaculation at all), then there seemed to be this separate group who were talking about “semen retention “ as if there was a distinction. And the SR crowd seemed to embody those knucklehead traits as if there were different types of non masturbaters. I guess I was just plain wrong or I misunderstood. Apologies for unclear message.

Hey @GBS, you're all good sir. I WAS a little confused as to what you were exactly saying in your message, but I didn't think you were referring to me with any of that to be clear. I was just clarifying the misunderstandings/misconceptions I see and have read about over the years on the other side of this argument, which I often get very annoyed about because it's often so obviously misconstrued if not outright lying. Also, when you're 13 days out from no O, my tolerance for bullshit is down to zero. For example, if you Google semen retention and the far right or Is semen retention fascist? you'll find all kinds of insane and asinine articles posting about semen retention advocates using examples from the hateful Tweeter Tweets from all the usual suspects: anti-Semites, white nationalists, conspiracy theorists you name it, thus, making the childish point, if you're interested in any of this, you must one be one of them too. Obviously, not only is this an illogical argument, that is, the fallacy of guilt by association, but it's just pure propaganda and is not a real reflection of this group; either the SR advocates or the noFapers or the Porn is bad advocates. Sure, some of these people are insane yes, but I would assume that must of us (99%?) are just normal people trying to get a grip on this modern phenomenon, that is, easily accessible porn and too much masturbation for our own good.

That's all I was saying.

Much love

Thanks @one_man_canoe, @Escapeandnevercomeback and @EarthWalker, I'll get back to you guys when I have more time. What a great discussion!

 

[swimmer97]

Day 14 (1971 days of freedom)
Day 14 of no O
Day 14 of no alcohol
54 cold showers

Already 14days, my man is back stronger than he already was. Keep doing what you do

 

[Blondie]

Already 14days, my man is back stronger than he already was. Keep doing what you do

Thanks @swimmer97! I appreciate it.

This is a really good resource, glad to have seen your post about it. I've been working through the first three lessons this past fortnight (slow, I know). Thanks!

Thanks @one_man_canoe, there's some great content there. I don't think that's slow at all. There's so much there to think about it and reflect on. Way to be on tackling that head on.

Best

I feel like adding my 2 cents on the noFap/SR topic.

Hey @EarthWalker, thanks for weighing in.

Maybe there is a technical difference between noFap and SR.

I honestly have no clue here, though both are modern, SR tries, though often fails miserably, to be connected to some of the more ancient practices like Taoism a Tantra sex etc.

With noFap to me, it is you just don't put energy into masturbation. No masturbation. Simple. You simplify your life. You have more energy to spend on yourself, your life, your partner, etc. You are free to have sex with ejaculation on nofap. Just no masturbation. You say no to being alone in your room and fapping. Simple.

I would agree with this from what I know. I've never been in those reddits though so I could be wrong.

With SR to me, the idea is you can still engage in masturbation, play around with arousal, lust, orgasm, sex but it is without ejaculation. In my view this can get quite complex. Like you can have sex but don't ejaculate, or masturbate but don't ejaculate. There are some books on how to do this and some esoteric practices. In my view, this is for the most part distorted teaching as the underlying motivation might be - want to have pleasure without paying the price for it. Maybe this is why some SR folks put images of hot girls in the videos. The idea is you can have the orgasm/pleasure but you will not pay the energetic price for it via ejaculation. Like the ultimate hack. Multiple-male-orgasm, achievable alone in your room with some esoteric energy practices - go buy my book, go buy my workshop. Yeah, nah bro.

I've never seen anyone on the SR side talk about masturbation while doing SR (doesn't mean it doesn't exist though), but I sure as hell wouldn't do that as a porn addict, past or present, because you're definitely playing with fire. If I was NOT in a relationship, you couldn't pay me to touch myself or masturbate (hell I don't tough myself even now, not even to pee!), because to me, porn and masturbation go hand in hand, but that's just me and my story. However, in a relationship or with a partner, I see no problem with it. SR, Tantra sex, Karezza method, whatever you want to call it, can be an extremely fulfilling and a loving experience that can give you a hell of a high without ever ejaculating. In fact, this healthy high, unlike porn, can go on for hours throughout the day. And if you learn how to do dry orgasms, you can incorporate those too with your partner. I have literally no problem with any of this.

With SR to me, the idea is you can still engage in masturbation, play around with arousal, lust, orgasm, sex but it is without ejaculation.

I'm not sure what you mean by lust here, I assume masturbating by yourself with fantasy, which as I said I wouldn't advise.

Maybe this is why some SR folks put images of hot girls in the videos.

Yeah this shit is annoying as hell, but what can you do but be the person you wish the world to be?

The idea is you can have the orgasm/pleasure but you will not pay the energetic price for it via ejaculation. Like the ultimate hack. Multiple-male-orgasm, achievable alone in your room with some esoteric energy practices - go buy my book, go buy my workshop. Yeah, nah bro.

Absolutely. There's nothing like hearing some bro telling you about Taoist's sexual practices when they just learned about the concept ten minutes ago on Wikipedia, thus, insulting your intelligence, much less the culture it come from. And then what is more, they want you to buy their book with info that can be found for free if you choose to look for it. In the golden days, we would have heard about this stuff from our tribal elders for free around the campfire, probably in some scared ritual passed down from generation to generation by our ancestors, now, we just get this regurgitated capitalistic nonsense sold to us as a "gift" that we're supposed to be grateful for. No thanks. I would advise though, don't throw out the baby with the bathwater, though of course, in no way would I engage with this stuff as a single person, I would use that energy to get out there and talk to women or work on your goals. And yes, no matter what, keep it simple for yourself.

Kudos to you. But from my own experimentation. Cost/benefit, the complexity added to ones life. It is better for me to keep thing simple.

I would definitely advise to do what works for you that's for sure. We should all listen to our conscience when it comes to these things, for in the end, that's who we have to live with.

Best brother

 

[EarthWalker]

@Blondie 100% to what you wrote.

I am looking at SR from a perspective of a single person who wants to reach O but without ejaculation - technically this is SR. Playing with fire indeed with very limited return of investment. Like you say we are better of working on our goals or talking to girls.

In the golden days, we would have heard about this stuff from our tribal elders for free around the campfire, probably in some scared ritual passed down from generation to generation by our ancestors, now, we just get this regurgitated capitalistic nonsense sold to us as a "gift" that we're supposed to be grateful for.

Thanks for this. You put to words what was in my subconscious in some form.

On the positive side, we are free to find any teacher we wish. But yeah, when money is involved for me at least gratitude is optional.

Best brother

 

[SmokenMirrors]

Very interesting discussion on semen retention, I very much agree with King Blondie.
I was at my mentally strongest when I retained semen (I still don't MO) and my mental clarity was off the charts. I can see why unintelligent knuckledragging fuckmonkeys could perceive SR as an overly macho, chest beating activity but on the whole, it makes you a better man ( just my opinion of course)

Big love, kings

 

[Blondie]

Day 15 (1972 days of freedom)
Day 15 of no O
Day 15 of no alcohol
54 cold showers

I very much love that I'm 15 days out. I feel great just thinking about it. I'm also loving this SR conversation we're having, it's good no matter where you stand.

On that video I posted a while back about SR, the guy said that days 10-30 would be the power up phrase of this journey. I can see how this is so. The first four days after a orgasm your body is just recovery from it. Day 5-9 is where you start feeling a normal feeling again, and homo stasis etc. is the norm. I would agree with these sentiments, both times now over the last three weeks it was around day 5 or 6 where I started to feel that vitality again down there and just had more mental clarity. Of course, it's not that I'm a lazy ass the first four days either, but I am just a little more sluggish mentally and not quite so alert etc. This guy says that in this current phrase I'm in I should be more energetic and magnetic, AND have a deeper voice . I don't know how anyone could have a deeper voice from doing any of this (and I alreadly have one!) but I'll let you guys know if I start speaking like Sam Elliot. Furthermore, he says, you start seeing women as humans, which is something I'm thinking is going to happen, though being off porn for mostly two years clean, I'm alreadly there. He also mentioned I'll be more authentic which is interesting and something I will report if so. I did notice myself yesterday during writing discussions for school etc. being a little more honest and not giving as much of a fuck about sharing my opinions etc., because I seem more aggressive than usual, which is something I've always notice when doing this over the years. And most importantly, if women start chasing me around the campus I'll let you all know!

Have a great porn-free Monday.

Thanks @EarthWalker.

On the positive side, we are free to find any teacher we wish. But yeah, when money is involved for me at least gratitude is optional.

This is a good point, and I would agree.

Carry on brother!

I was at my mentally strongest when I retained semen (I still don't MO) and my mental clarity was off the charts.

Thanks for stopping by King.

I can see why unintelligent knuckledragging fuckmonkeys could perceive SR as an overly macho,

" knuckledragging fuckmonkeys" Thanks for this @SmokenMirrors , almost spit out my coffee while reading it.

 

[Blondie]

Day 16 (1973 days of freedom)
Day 16 of no O
Day 16 of no alcohol
55 cold showers

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Hell yea, keep it up brother!

 

[Blondie]

Thanks @First_step_thousand_miles!

 

[GBS]

Morning. Very interested to know your state of mind now your 17 days no MO. I don’t know what your longest no MO streak is (and it isn’t a competition), but when I approach 20 I have to up my “try not to think about it” discipline. But I also think around 20 days one gets a very strong sense of calm about the process. If I can do 20, I can do more….that as well. Are you getting that?

All best GBS

 

[Blondie]

Day 17 (1974 days of freedom)
Day 17 of no O
Day 17 of no alcohol
56 cold showers

Morning. Very interested to know your state of mind now your 17 days no MO. I don’t know what your longest no MO streak is (and it isn’t a competition), but when I approach 20 I have to up my “try not to think about it” discipline. But I also think around 20 days one gets a very strong sense of calm about the process. If I can do 20, I can do more….that as well. Are you getting that?

All best GBS

Thank you @GBS, great question. So my longest streak since I discovered masturbation at 20 was eight months once when I first started dating a girlfriend, that was many moons ago and I had no idea about any of this stuff back then, I was probably 23. Just writing that makes me think maybe it's better not to think about this stuff too much! But after I've discovered Your Brain on Porn ten years ago, I've done 60 day challenges of no O but sex, probably six or so times, never once getting passed 60 days though.

I've been feeling great the last few days. My mood has been fabulous and yesterday I just studied none stop the entire day and had lots of energy to boot. Minus a few urges I had yesterday, which I think is more from the relapse than this, my mind feels extremely clean and calm. My focus the last few days (something I've always had a problem with) has been considerably better and I can only chalk this up to SR as well. So far, I haven't got to the point where it feels there's a dam downstairs dying to be broken to release itself (besides when having sex), but yesterday I did have my first thought like that, where I could feel presser building up, however, I just turned back to studying and it passed shortly after. So far I haven't felt extremely horny either, except for days 6-8, just somewhere in the middle I'd say. We've been having quite a bit of sex too, probably five or so times since this started, so that could help with that. Who knows, maybe having sex gets the urge out of my "head" though it's still in my body naturally. I've been waking up with MW everyday now for a while, or almost everyday, but I don't keep track of that too much nor care to. Overall I feel great confidence in having gone this far, and can't wait to see what happens next.

Unfortunately, my voice is still the same, which is fine, I've always liked my low cowboy drawl anyway. Plus, the women around campus have not suddenly realized how bad ass I am, but hey, I'm still riding out into the sunset with my own Lady so I'm happy.

Best sir.

 

[searching4good]

Great to hear @Blondie - I'm so pleased, impressed and inspired RE how you've kept on going after that hiccup a couple of weeks ago. What doesn't kill you!!

 

[Blondie]

Thanks @searching4good.

We all can do this.