im 35...im in the last few minutes of the game and want to give it my last shot!

hamilton8

Active Member
i am definetly feeling myself triggered throughout the day where my mind says to myself---go get some porn. just go into the spare room and binge onto the computer. the struggle is real! also my libito for real women is almost zero.
 
i am definetly feeling myself triggered throughout the day where my mind says to myself---go get some porn. just go into the spare room and binge onto the computer. the struggle is real! also my libito for real women is almost zero.
Yeah I can relate to that brother
But I think recognizing the urges for what they are is a sign of progress
Certainly in my own case, before this reboot, I would've just acted on them without even being aware

Great progress - keep killing it! 💪
 

hamilton8

Active Member
im back after a month off this site. i have been off porn but then back on it maybe 5 times over the month, PMO 5 times over 4 weeks. I feel flat about it over the recent 2 months where i havent been posting on here as i have been trying to regain motivation to abstain. I feel emotionally up and down the last 2 months. i suppose that is me revoering. Im still proud that i am not PMOing everyday and i go back to this blog i may be over 5 months have PMO maybe 15 times....thats ok i suppose- 3 times a month on average. I am still a long away away from where i want to be though, but im keen to get back onto the horse.
 

hamilton8

Active Member
This week i had an up and down week. I probably PMO about 2 times throughout the week, but only on 5 minutes each- so it was not a long binge- but not ideal. i watched a podcast which had an expert of sex addiction on and he was describingthat internet porn is creating a lot of problems in men and their ability to build relationships and also be intimate and even enjoy sex. It resonated with me.....he said the path to recovery was -----no PMO for 3 months and the brain reboots, but then it takes about 1 to 2 years after that for the mind to rebuiild healthy connections in the brain based on health interactions.....and the key was to have a recovery stopry into your mind. and also to not relapse...and to replace porn with something fullfilling especially in your work- and your brain wont change unless there are these things.
 

hamilton8

Active Member
this morning i was chatting to someone close to me and thought about my childhood. I then was very emotional all of a sudden and started to cry. I have not cried for a long long time and it was a surpirse to me that all of a sudden i started to cry for about 5 minutes. It was a great emotional release for me and i felt so much better afterwards.....maybe this is part of my recovery......to emotionally reqire my brain my mind is now freeing up to release emotional baggage where PMO masked it in the past.
 

SimonM

Member
Keep it up! You gotta get through the "boring" part to get to the truly transformative stage in my experience. What I mean by that is that the beginning of abstaining is sort of exciting - we quickly build up some days and maybe have a better stretch than in a long time. But then it gets hard... we feel the withdrawal, we start questioning the resolve we started out with, and the day count doesn't seem to move so fast anymore... BUT - if we can make it through that then there's true light at the end of the tunnel to change our life forever. Strength!
 

hamilton8

Active Member
I felt like PMOing but abstained so i came onto here instead to journal this post. Yes i'm on a period of flatlining and i am waiting for the withdrawl to come through and i aim to be strong during that period
 

hamilton8

Active Member
yesterday was day 8 no Porn......what i am trying to do is as i am abstaining from Porn, i need to replace it by connection....so i try and build onto all my relationships.....and increase connection with friends and family as essentially we start porn to deal with a lack of connection in our lives.....so the only way we will heal is to rebuild connections with people....so this is my aim....this will provide large positive changes........BUT i will stay focus, and use positive language
 
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