Finally, I'm doing this…

Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 5 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

Months ago, when the time came to have sex, I couldn't respond. The woman I
was with tried everything, but I just wasn't into it. It was really embarrassing for
me, and made me really anxious. Like "Why isn't anything happening?" "What‘s
wrong with me?" I went about 2 weeks with porn and masturbation. Then I was
with another women who I'd been seeing for a couple weeks. This time I was so
nervous I was shaking. Yet I was able to perform once we got down to business.
For some reason I then decided I was "cured," and that it was ok to go back to
porn and masturbation on an everyday basis.

With my brain coming back into balance I can get aroused by lighter stimuli
instead of hardcore porn, and this is definitely a good thing. But whether I can get
it up or not, I just don't want to be so nervous before sex. I want to enjoy it. I have
now gone almost 4 weeks without looking at porn. I have masturbated maybe
twice. I feel a lot more responsive right now as far as sex drive, and I know it can
get even better.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 6 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

I'm happy because at this point porn is not part of my daily routine anymore.
I'm starting to get used to living without it, and starting to appreciate
everyday women more. Fantasies and old videos still pop in my head, but
it‘s a lot easier to get them out now, it‘s a lot easier to not associate daily
events with porn scenarios. I notice it‘s a lot easier to be aroused by little
things (not that I spend all day fantasizing, just an observation). I truly
believed that watching porn and masturbating has also had an effect on my
confidence. Going into a potential sexual situation knowing that I still had a
problem, I would masturbate several times a day…and make myself more
nervous. Now, though I'm confident that I‘m taking the steps to help myself.

[Months later] Honestly, 10 months ago I couldn't go 2 days without
masturbating. Through trial and error I have gone as much as 2-3 weeks
several times. However each time I learned more about my triggers. Now to
me 14-21-28 days isn't insurmountable at all. When I come home from
work, porn and masturbation are no longer the first things on my mind. I
really don‘t need them. It‘s easier to stay away and do more productive
things.

One other thing that has helped me resist porn is what I've heard from
others. I thought it was normal to masturbate and look at porn multiple times
a week. But I found out that a lot of family members and friends don't do it a
lot, some not even at all. That was a huge shock to me, and a huge wake up
call. I want to be able to find a significant other, and porn and masturbation
just ruin my desire to do that. They ruin my desire for real women.

So I have been clean now for the last 6 weeks. No porn, one or two dream
orgasms, and I did masturbate twice with no fantasy or anything. The
biggest thing I have noticed is that I really don't have the urge to masturbate
so much anymore. It‘s one of the coolest things ever. I feel like I have
broken through. I don't even think of it. When I used to come home from
work, first inclination would be to masturbate. When I used to feel
depressed, first thing I would turn to would be to masturbate to feel good,
when I would maybe have a couple beers, first thing I‘d wanna do when
home was masturbate with porn. I don't feel this way anymore, when the
urges come up I can quickly push them off. I believe masturbate controlled
me, but now I control it. Its power over me has weakened significantly.
Things still do trigger me to want to masturbate again, but they‘re easier to
stop. And I believe things will get even better.

What I have learned, it‘s not about just stopping masturbation; it‘s about
changing your lifestyle. Once you go a long time without something, your
body gets used to not needing it. That‘s why I guess the first couple weeks
are the toughest. It‘s about breaking that cycle of addiction. It‘s funny. I had
a friend of mine tell me he was masturbating to porn only about 4 times a
week, and he was losing desire for his partner. So he stopped doing it and
things turned back to normal. Then I thought of me doing it like 15 times a
week, and it just wasn‘t good. There are just so many cases of porn addiction
popping up now that porn is so much easier to access.

I'm starting to believe that [sexual] performance anxiety is becoming a
product not so much of fear, but of people's abuse of porn and masturbation.
Like me almost a year ago, they have no clue it‘s contributing to problems
they are having. I've been reading online, and even individuals in their early
20's are experiencing this problem. These are people whose hormones
should be raging; yet they‘re having problems after looking at too much
porn. I have read a lot of things about people being able watch porn
occasionally and then still perform with a significant other. However if they
went a long stretch without any type of sex, and watched a lot of porn with
masturbation then they had difficulties, difficulties they didn't previously
have. I think it would be better if people had all the facts. I'm glad this issue
is becoming more and more recognized in society. In the future I think its
gonna help prevent a lot of problems.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 7 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

Weight training is fun now. I found I can lift more than I ever thought! That also
makes me even more confident.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 9 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

It's the 14th day now!!!! I feel happier and more confident. I realize that
since I stopped porn, my friends, and girls in general, seem to want to hang
out more with me or have an increased tendency to hug me much more
often, 75% more maybe. Porn seems to be debilitating and paralyzing in its
ease and access. It is a trap in emotional and social development.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 10 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

I went for 7 days, and then I had a sexual encounter [with orgasm]. I did notice
my performance in bed was very powerful because of 7 days of retention.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 11 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

I did not (until recently) try abstinence from ejaculation. Very cool. Now, I
want to get out of bed, and at a more appropriate time. I feel physically
stronger. I see rapid gains in a highly physically demanding pastime. The
best part is that I don't get nearly as intimidated by female presence and
touch now that I know that I can exercise control and regain my balance.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 12 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

When I first started recovery from porn, the withdrawal symptoms were so
intense that I couldn't last more than 4 days without masturbating. But I kept
pushing forward, and the withdrawal symptoms weren't as bad over time. 4 days
turned into a week and a half, and it just went on from there. I used to have really
bad OCD but now I barely get that, unless I relapse.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Blondie said:
Looking good @Ezel, looking good. I hope you're doing well brother!
Click to expand...
Thanks Blondie. I'm doing just fine. Thank you for reaching out. I just found a job to keep me busy throughout this summer. I come home late and very tired, I would just write how many days I'm at, and call it a day. That's why I haven't been very active on the forum lately. Besides that, all is going great. I hope it's the same thing on your side champ.
Just Keep pushing my brother. Two years free from this filth is just around the corner.
You inspire man big Time.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 13 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

An important thing I'd like to mention is I feel extremely…fresh the last
couple days. My brain feels more alert and alive, and I felt more social today
when I was eating dinner with my family. I also only spent a short period of
time on the computer and instead was watching TV and outside most of the
day. I honestly love feeling that my brain is more balanced. I think I just
gotta keep remembering it‘s not worth an hour, or less, of pleasure for days
of brain imbalance.

I just considered myself a cynical person, and thought that my dark outlook
on life was the realistic outlook, and all the happy bubbly people were just
fake. Now that I've discovered this whole thing of cutting back on orgasms
and pornography, I feel like one of those bubbly people. And I notice that
the cynical sulky people are just boring, haha.

I notice that I'm feeling less intimidated by attractive girls. The other day it
was raining, and I saw three hotties walking towards me with their shades
on. This used to scare the crap out of me, but I smiled and nodded at them,
and thought it was cute that they were wearing their shades in the rain. In the
past, I would have averted my eyes in fear, and thought that it was lame that
they were wearing their shades in the rain. So, little shifts in attitude and
mood.

I still feel like my homeostasis is returning. Like, I'm still having mood
swings, but I'm getting better. I'm feeling energetic, talkative, and creative.
Being more talkative is a huge improvement I've noticed since taking on this
experiment. I used to be a "man of few words," thinking that that made me
have more depth or something. But now I feel more conversational.

[Later] I've now gone a week [again] without p/m. Pat myself on the back. It
was pretty easy except for today. I had some cravings and porn flashbacks,
but I decided to sit down, and meditate and wait them out. I'm still feeling
pretty anti-social, but have been making small efforts to be more social.
Smiling at people as I walk down the streets, making small talk with people I
see from classes. Feeling pretty energetic. I've been looking back on my
days, and thinking, "Wow, how did I get so much done?" I've been getting
into a zone with my studying lately...it feels like my attention span is
growing.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 15 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

Today I worked with a friend on my shy bladder syndrome. It was a great
success. I truly believe that my abstinence was a big part of it. It's as if all the bad
things in my life that manifested from my masturbation addiction are falling apart.
What a great feeling! I feel optimistic about the future.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 16 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

When I succeed in not ejaculating for more than 10 days, I notice several
changes: my voice gets deeper and more charismatic; my personality gets
more magnetic; men and women liked to communicate with me more; my
eyes brighten; my skin complexion gets better, and overall I have more
energy and feel more positive emotions, and have my emotions and thoughts
more easily under control.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 17 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

I am starting my 19th day of abstinence and have noticed numerous changes in
both my physical energy level, and the level of my emotional turmoil. I have been
angry and scared for so long that starting to lose that state feels pretty strange.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 19 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

So much in my life has changed since I woke up a year and a half ago and
decided that I needed to quit masturbating to porn (after more than 20 years
of heavy use and escalation of material). It has been a long road, but I am ok
with the whole journey, even the stuff I would label as ―bad.‖ All of my
pain, struggle and mental mess made a big leap forward. I still have things I
am working on, and I still suffer social phobia, but I will get through that as
well. Learning to deal with my porn addiction and masturbation addiction
allowed me to receive someone in my life. Yes, I am in a relationship with a
wonderful woman. Those who read my blog can probably remember how
much I beat myself up because of my addiction, and never having had a
girlfriend, and being a virgin at 37. I let being a virgin eat at me so much.

I am no longer a virgin. My partner and I are trying to practice karezza. So
far I think we are doing well with it. It is getting easier not to think of
orgasm as the goal. I can see getting to that point now after this week. I think
it understandable that I was having difficulty with that at first.

This week was much better. A lovemaking session lasting for a couple hours and
ending with not wanting an orgasm was an amazing experience. Actually, I
have had several long sessions without orgasm, and it does feel very good
and the mood and feelings stay with me/us. I have had no solo orgasm in
about 78 days. I do not see having one in the near future either.
Porn is no longer even difficult to stay away from. I do not even think about it much
any more, if at all. I have viewed porn 6 times in about ten and a half months
and for a total of less then 2 hours. I have no desire to view it. Today, I see
myself as someone who doesn‘t view porn rather than as a porn addict who
is just not watching it. Sounds like a small difference but it really is a huge
step. Masturbation is a little more tricky. I am not having trouble not
masturbating, but I do get urges and desires to do so. Lots of cuddling and
touching of all kinds helps with that. Orgasm is a lot trickier. I conditioned
my brain to want orgasm very much. So when sexually excited, I still have
strong desires at the start. They are getting easier to deal with the more we
practice karezza. A good diet I still believe is one of the best things to help
with addiction. I feel much better with my new organic diet, and think it is
completely worth the effort and expense to continue eating the way I am
now.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 20 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

Yesterday (day twelve) I was all shaky and anxious and feeling fidgety like a
crack addict for an hour. For the most part, though, my life feels totally different. I
treat people differently. Things are MUCH, MUCH, MUCH better socially for me
now. It‘s easier to joke around with people at work. I‘m becoming popular—that‘s
how different things feel for me all of a sudden! I‘m happy ALL DAY LONG
instead of just for a few minutes each day.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
Day 21 (no po, no mo), monk mode.

Here’s a sampling of the comments of heavy porn users about life without
Internet porn. Some have been sharing their progress for months.

I have to confess that I don't enjoy socializing most of the times. Do you
know totally asocial/timid children, who don't look into your eyes, and don't
talk at all? Who go watch documentaries instead of playing? I was one of
these ones until I was 10 years old. My flirting and chatting with girls while
in high school was very limited, and even today, I usually prefer to do
research, read a book and do computer stuff rather than passing time with
others.

Why do I tell you all about me? Interestingly, my social contact with
sexually attractive girls (and with other people) is getting far better since
abstaining from porn for more than 2 months. Now, for example, I am
exchanging smiles, looks, etc. with all the cute girls, whom I now see for
first time in my life, in metro, bus and streets. Actually, I am doing what I
think of as ―fast-food flirting for fun,‖ instead of reading papers and
listening music while traveling. I felt a thrill for a short time for a girl in the
library last week, when I accidentally touched her arm (first in years). It was
very short, but I paused to talk with her about hairstyles and other boring
stuff, instead of going to cafeteria to talk about work, sports and other things
that I like to talk about with my friends. This new hunger for social
exchange with real girls has affected my relations in positive ways with
other people as well. I pass more time with others. Many people have
noticed my recent changes, and they act more positively toward me.

In short, even an extremely asocial person can become better with girls. You
can take some of these steps with every cute girl around you, like I am doing
now. You will see that your burden to keep away from P/M/O becomes
easier when there are girls around you. (Really)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top