Thanks @Gracie. The male perspective on the partner devastation is probably something that varies a lot. There will be some who think their wives should just move on….come on get a grip, every man on earth watches porn, it’s normal behaviour these days. But I know that my wife is really really hurting. I know what I am doing is right and she has been so wonderful in taking time out from her own recovery to tell me that I am changing. So the progress is slow and that’s the way it should be as I also slowly recover myself and I grow daily more aware of how I devastated my wife. My increased understanding and awareness brings us closer and helps us both.
I am twice the man I was 3 months ago. There are so many men and women out there with some form of porn addiction and they’re keeping it from their partners. The married ones will be damaging their relationships hugely. But I am an optimist because the new person I have become is a vast improvement on the old one. So oddly I am glad this all came out because being open about is part of how I recover and become this better new person. The downside was/is the pain and suffering of my darling wife- and that’s the problem right there. We have not recovered yet and my wife has not made any promises. She could tell me she can’t cope any day….and she could just end it all. That would be devastating for me, but how can I possibly complain. We going through this together but we don’t know we’ll succeed because to succeed we need us both to recover.