496 days sober
48 no ejaculation
All quiet here. Wife dealing with sick mother in US. I think it might be an understatement to say my mother in law is not a perfect patient.
Someone at SAA asked me last night whether my wife being away brought any heightened urges or temptations. I think the honest answer is “very slightly” but negligible. I ain’t breaking my near 500 day streak that’s for sure. Could I dream up a fantasy and do an MO? I could but I won’t because I like that streak too.
In my YouTube moments yesterday I watched one of those Dr Trish Leigh ones on masturbation, what’s healthy, what’s not. That lady speaks well but I was yelling at my laptop when she calmly said “of course masturbation is fine if it’s not secretive, not to porn or fantasy” No shit. This message is everything right there. - so according to Trish, Semen retention is not ideal. It’s ok and better than bad masturbation, but we all need a healthy sex life. Again no shit, lady. It was a bit of an odd one because as a therapist she must know what percentage of masturbation happens to porn, or to fantasy……like 99.99% of it, right? So masturbation is fine just not the way that 9,999 people out of 10,000 are doing it. Needs a bit more light shed on that one I think, Trish.
I think Trish is basically saying that monk mode is best. When you’ve freed your brain from fantasy and porn memories then you can wank mindfully, but until then just have sex with your partner and if you can’t do that and masturbate mindfully, do nothing.
And so we persevere.