Another story - probably the same as everyone else

F

Freerider

Active Member
GBS said:
674 days sober
4 days no MO


Very kind @Blondie . Thanks for your support. Knowing you have my back is very reassuring. For the avoidance of doubt I have yours too.

Little bit of news. The first steps back to intimacy were taken this morning. This is using the Sensate Focus program where step one is just touching but no genitalia. This was hard for Mrs GBS. It’s a big step when you’re naked in front of your spouse for the first time in nearly two years. It went very well. I controlled myself well and we both were the receiver and the giver. Lasted 30 minutes or so. Progress. Afterwards she declared it was difficult for her but she got through it. A few triggers for her but she combatted them. We will do it again soon she said. No ticker tape parade gents, just a tiny whoop I reckon.

We persevere.
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👍
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
676 days sober
6 days no MO

Some of my strongest sexual feelings rose to the surface yesterday. I was going to write the word ”urges” except it wasn’t an urge to watch porn. It was just straight up frustration of not having sex. Obviously the recent mild intimacy has awakened many thoughts. It’s a wonderful new feeling but extremely testing. Note to self: do not MO even if you really want to.
 
jberg

jberg

Active Member
GBS said:
676 days sober
6 days no MO

Some of my strongest sexual feelings rose to the surface yesterday. I was going to write the word ”urges” except it wasn’t an urge to watch porn. It was just straight up frustration of not having sex. Obviously the recent mild intimacy has awakened many thoughts. It’s a wonderful new feeling but extremely testing. Note to self: do not MO even if you really want to.
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Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope with all of us!
 
jberg

jberg

Active Member
GBS said:
674 days sober
4 days no MO


Very kind @Blondie . Thanks for your support. Knowing you have my back is very reassuring. For the avoidance of doubt I have yours too.

Little bit of news. The first steps back to intimacy were taken this morning. This is using the Sensate Focus program where step one is just touching but no genitalia. This was hard for Mrs GBS. It’s a big step when you’re naked in front of your spouse for the first time in nearly two years. It went very well. I controlled myself well and we both were the receiver and the giver. Lasted 30 minutes or so. Progress. Afterwards she declared it was difficult for her but she got through it. A few triggers for her but she combatted them. We will do it again soon she said. No ticker tape parade gents, just a tiny whoop I reckon.

We persevere.
Click to expand...
Are you using the Sensate Focus program on your own or with the guidance of a therapist?
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
Gentlemen,

jberg said:
Are you using the Sensate Focus program on your own or with the guidance of a therapist?
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Thanks @jberg - yes, Sensate Focus under the guidance of a therapist. Yet to report back our one encounter. Much to say. Think Mrs GBS would like a few more outings before we discuss we (slightly clinical and unemotional) therapist for fear of her getting blame for slow start.

Are you a Sensate focus fan?
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
677 days sober
7 days no MO

My therapist said the Sensate Focus program I am on is a 12 week exercise through the steps. I recall that. There are 5 steps. If I say the clock started when we started (a few days ago) then this runs basically until early April. Also if (big word) each step lasts the same amount of time then we will be on to serious intimacy (step 3 and 4) in about 40 days time. Will the no MO streak continue? It will certainly be under strain.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
679 days
9 days no MO

In case you were wondering k no repeat of the intimacy exercise yet although kids only went back to university on Saturday and yesterday was pretty busy. Hope is the thing that kills you.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
And lo and behold we did more intimacy again today. She said it was easier for her. Thank god for that. I won’t give you the blow by blow account except there were no blow jobs involved! Ha ha.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
Jlied said:
B====D
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Trying to work out what letters to fill in the gaps with. Thanks big J. Wish I could explain exactly what’s going on, but it honestly would break all triggering protocols on here

Blondie said:
Fucking A! LOVE IT.
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Thanks man. You do realise I trust that you are part of my recovery, right?

681 days sober
11 days no MO

So rather obviously things are pretty good here. This intimacy program is all about being totally present and truly feeling. Take all brain imagination out of the equation and just sense what simple (at the moment) non arousal touch feels like. Naked skin on naked skin. Fucking wonderful and worth the near two year wait. The program may last three months so I am told. I think once the touching gets more into erogenous areas the excitement is going to be a tricky one to manage. It will be a fun management exercise.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
682 days sober
12 days no MO

Blondie said:
Even Brits need a cowboy on their side
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You better believe it. I am never leaving this site. I may take occasional breaks but I will still be here in 10 years time hopefully saying I have kicked this horrible habit. Trust you will be here too.
 
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