Another story - probably the same as everyone else

GBS

Respected Member
697 days sober
3 days no MO

Been very difficult but finally moving forwards. Thanks to you good people @Blondie @Ezel @Gracie @Jlied @Galatians51 @jberg @joepanic @PrometheusUnbound . it genuinely gives me a lift to know you’re here.

Somewhere in there I MO’d. I think I thought it wasn’t an horrific crime but I probably took advantage of the sympathy vote I knew I would get. Wife has been great although she came down on me like a ton of bricks the week before he died saying my behaviour was different and I was going back to the person I was before. Obviously my behaviour was all over the place, so I thought this a bit unkind honestly. My inner serenity forces me to move onwards and not dwell on the fact that was not her finest hour.
 

searching4good

Active Member
I've just caught up a little bit on your thread @GBS - so sorry to hear about your recent loss and wishing you and those around you all the best.

Fantastic, amazing work on knocking down those days. What an exciting milestone tomorrow!
 

GBS

Respected Member
I've just caught up a little bit on your thread @GBS - so sorry to hear about your recent loss and wishing you and those around you all the best.

Fantastic, amazing work on knocking down those days. What an exciting milestone tomorrow!
Thanks pal. Very kind.
 

GBS

Respected Member
700 days free from watching porn
6 no MO

I am very happy with that. It comes at an odd time and wife is being very distant. But I will not let that detract from it. Next stop: the two year mark.
 

Jlied

Active Member
Well done and well deserved. Very inspiring stuff man. All you’ve done, all you’ve gone through, you’re like a machine, you have an agenda and nothing will stop it.
 

GBS

Respected Member
701 days clean
7 days no MO

Thanks @Beautiful1973 (wtf have you been?) @Galatians51 @Jlied @Blondie - your encouragement and stellar friendship (and of course the friendship of many other wonderful people on here) is part of why I am here. There have been moments when I wanted to look again. Moments when I thought I could get away with it by lying. Moments when I thought I was being desperately cruel to myself by resisting. But I did resist. I haven’t lied. I know the devil is within me always but I have put a piece of strong tape over his mouth (the devil is male, right?) and he says nothing to me. Then it’s just about staying true. Set very high standards. Don’t let the behaviour of others change your course.

Thanks to you all. Those who like, those who lurk and those who write. We’re in this together.

See you tomorrow
 

Gracie

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Well I missed the big day for you! But congrats on 701! I most appreciate your dedication to the healing of you and your wife and your marriage. It is a difficult walk. It takes a great deal of understanding on all sides. Stay true to yourself and your goals as you walk your life’s walk.
In the meantime😎🎉🥳🌟🎉!
 

GBS

Respected Member
Thanks lady @Gracie . And for tge emoji shower!

And thanks dear friend @Jlied . I ain’t no poet (said in a southern drawl) that’s for sure.

702 days sober
8 days no MO

We are back on our Sensate focus program after a couple of weeks break when there was chaos and children around. It was lovely although my wife thinks I am going as close to the boundaries as possible and slightly trying to take advantage. I guess she’s right but I feel like saying - it’s just an indication that I desire you, so what’s the problem? I didn’t say that for the record. I just thought it. Getting too fucking mature in my old age.
 

GBS

Respected Member
704 days sober
10 days no MO

Had one of those days yesterday where I tried my utmost to use every trick in the book to keep me from thinking about sex and I failed. Not that it’s a crime to think about it, but if one needs to get things done it starts to hinder progress. And now I’m basically 2 years into recovery one would hope that the new normal me isn’t still thinking about it and fantasising too.

We’re going to have more couples therapy in a week or so which I hope will progress us forwards in the intimacy area. It’s lovely but no risks have yet been taken. Exciting and a little worrying.

Stay sober gents.
 
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