Finally sick and tired of being sick and tired

Ezel

Ezel

Well-Known Member
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 said:
Just sitting around and waiting for the flatline to end and recovery to come isn't a healthy thing. Doing the things that make me the happiest will help me most I believe
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This is what it's all about man. You are starting to learn some valuable lessons freedom. Yes you slipped but you learned your lesson. That in and of itself is a win. And what you wrote above is the proof.
Bless you champ. Keep pushing. One day we all gonna make it. We just have to keep getting up and moving forward no matter how many times we screw it up.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
No MW this morning. Didn't sleep well, but the energy from retention is helping me and so the lack of sleep isn't that bad. Feeling good today. Came to the realization last night, that I might just be trying too hard in everything. From quitting pmo to becoming the best version of myself. Going to step back and just go through the upcoming days and weeks and be the best that I can be and just see what happens. Sometimes trying too hard can be a detriment to us. Hope everyone has a great day.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Had an urge today. Got through it successfully. Had anxiety today. I didn't let it lead me down the old road. Tomorrow marks 2 weeks of no pmo. Had 30-40% MW this morning but it quickly went away. Tonight I feel energetic and good. Workouts today were amazing. I felt a real dopamine reward from lifting weights as opposed to a fake one from a screen. Porn will never again be an option. Today when I got through that urge, I felt confidence. I know now that the urges aren't the end of the world. I can deal with them as they come to me without fear. Good day all around.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Man, last night was the toughest night I've had in a while with urges and cravings. The desire to pmo was really strong, but I stuck to my commitment to stop and I said no. I felt the urges, embraced their discomfort and understood that the only power that they have over me, is the power that I give to them. I'm the only one who can give in to them. I am also the only one who can fight against them and tell them no. So proud of myself. Those times suck, but the next day is always a bit better because you're a little stronger than you were the day before. Getting close to 3 weeks. Have a great day, everyone. Keep it pmo free.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Good MW this morning. Worked out and have already gotten an early start on my daily chores. Have a lot of energy today. Also my mind is very clear and calm. Time goes by so fast once get in the groove of this. Waking up this morning was also much easier. Have a good day. Keep it pmo free.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Last night I had heavy urges once again. Instead of giving in, I felt the discomfort, I felt that energy and embraced it. I look at it as energy that is currently misplaced and needs somewhere positive to go Instead of somewhere negative that will end up wasting my time. So I listened to some music and talked to a friend. The urges stayed, but eventually they got tired and left. I'm really proud of myself for that. Tuesday marks 3 weeks pmo free. No MW this morning, but I'm feeling a ton better. Mentally more free and waking up is so much easier. Also my friend downstairs is beginning to look fuller Instead of like a dead plant. Lol. Have a great day and keep it pmo free.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Had a relapse tonight. I didn't wanna come here and tell you guys, but I owe it to all of you that have supported me through this journey. I know what I did wrong. I let my guard down in a moment where I shouldn't have. Not going to get down about it at all. Gonna optimize tomorrow and as they say in golf, "play the ball where it lies". I know now to always keep my guard up no matter what. Will update tomorrow evening. Thank you all.
 
Daybyday1988

Daybyday1988

Active Member
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 said:
Had a relapse tonight. I didn't wanna come here and tell you guys, but I owe it to all of you that have supported me through this journey. I know what I did wrong. I let my guard down in a moment where I shouldn't have. Not going to get down about it at all. Gonna optimize tomorrow and as they say in golf, "play the ball where it lies". I know now to always keep my guard up no matter what. Will update tomorrow evening. Thank you all.
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Hey buddy, this journal is getting close to a year old now. Maybe you can try getting rid of your inernet capable devices or installing a good blocking/accountability software on them. Ive be using Covenant Eyes, but there are others. Im over 4 months clean, Been addicted for nearly 14 years and no urges to go back. Fighting this battle on sheer willpower alone is way too hard so i find its best to just remove the option to use at all.
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 said:
Had a relapse tonight. I didn't wanna come here and tell you guys, but I owe it to all of you that have supported me through this journey.
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Hey @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11, you don't have to feel shame about a relapse, we're all here for you.
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 said:
I know what I did wrong. I let my guard down in a moment where I shouldn't have. Not going to get down about it at all.
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You're learned your lesson so that's great. Yes, staying positive is all that matters.
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 said:
Gonna optimize tomorrow and as they say in golf, "play the ball where it lies".
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Rock on! 👍 👍
 
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