First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
For sure man! Will do
I will make it -- Looking forward to taking my life back
- Thread starter First_step_thousand_miles
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First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Yessir! Shoulder feels much better already (it was the front part of my right shoulder) -- what did you do & how long did the recovery take for you to bench again my man?
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First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Wow good tip on recording! I'm switching to doing neutral grip bunch only. It's less optimal for chest than a regular grip bench but much easier on the shoulders. Good tips on flaring, I think I might be going too low. Just curious, how long did you rest after you had the shoulder pain before starting to bench again (this time with better form)?
Thank you beast!
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 423 no porn
Day 60 no MO
Day 5 cold shower
Day 5 journaling
2 months no MO! Big milestone, the longest I've ever gone without MO since 18 was 40-odd days at the beginning of my reboot. Feels great to be 2/3 of the way on to 90 days! But as mentioned, I'm going to do more than 90 days, much longer hopefully
Rough sleep last night despite journaling. But you know what? That only made me go HARDER today! I upped my cold shower to 2min on the coldest setting, felt great. Might even push up to 3min, still tossing that around. I'm going to continue working out hard -- avoiding chest for a few weeks but going to continue walks and other lifts.
I've realized one of the things I want most in life is RESILIENCY. Cold showers are a good step, along with journaling and of course consistent exercise. Any other suggestions from the crowd? Wondering if there's anything else to incorporate. Of course all humans have their moments of weakness, but HUGE difference between those feeling shitty once a week (or more!) vs. once a month or once every couple months. I want to be in the latter camp. Quitting porn has unlocked so many pathways that frankly I wouldn't have had the motivation to pursue. We'll get there, love you fellas! Big shout out to my guys Blonde / SmokenMirrors / Androg -- you really have inspired me to be a better man in all dimensions
Day 60 no MO
Day 5 cold shower
Day 5 journaling
2 months no MO! Big milestone, the longest I've ever gone without MO since 18 was 40-odd days at the beginning of my reboot. Feels great to be 2/3 of the way on to 90 days! But as mentioned, I'm going to do more than 90 days, much longer hopefully
Rough sleep last night despite journaling. But you know what? That only made me go HARDER today! I upped my cold shower to 2min on the coldest setting, felt great. Might even push up to 3min, still tossing that around. I'm going to continue working out hard -- avoiding chest for a few weeks but going to continue walks and other lifts.
I've realized one of the things I want most in life is RESILIENCY. Cold showers are a good step, along with journaling and of course consistent exercise. Any other suggestions from the crowd? Wondering if there's anything else to incorporate. Of course all humans have their moments of weakness, but HUGE difference between those feeling shitty once a week (or more!) vs. once a month or once every couple months. I want to be in the latter camp. Quitting porn has unlocked so many pathways that frankly I wouldn't have had the motivation to pursue. We'll get there, love you fellas! Big shout out to my guys Blonde / SmokenMirrors / Androg -- you really have inspired me to be a better man in all dimensions
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First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 424 no porn
Day 61 no MO
Day 6 cold shower
Day 6 journaling
Had a great sleep last night, was dead tired. Consistently journaling which is helping and the cold showers (2 minutes now!) are really helping to manage my cortisol levels. I'm excited for what things look like after another month or so of both of these habits. Shoulder feels great, going to lift again tomorrow.
On the porn side, I had a random boner today without thinking of anything sexual -- nice to see these start to come back. Wasn't rock hard per se but I definitely had to try and hide it as I was hanging out with a friend lol. I think doing 'hard more' with no PMO is really the solution to healing. More to come
Day 61 no MO
Day 6 cold shower
Day 6 journaling
Had a great sleep last night, was dead tired. Consistently journaling which is helping and the cold showers (2 minutes now!) are really helping to manage my cortisol levels. I'm excited for what things look like after another month or so of both of these habits. Shoulder feels great, going to lift again tomorrow.
On the porn side, I had a random boner today without thinking of anything sexual -- nice to see these start to come back. Wasn't rock hard per se but I definitely had to try and hide it as I was hanging out with a friend lol. I think doing 'hard more' with no PMO is really the solution to healing. More to come
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
It's tough to explain via text so here's two excellent videos on it, I implemented most of these exercises and my shoulder was fully fixed inside a week! If you do these every rest day you will NEVER have shoulder problems again!
Congrats on 60 days king!
How are you finding cold showers and gratitude journalling?
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Thank you my friend! AthleanX is a great channel, hadn't seen these vids but excited to do them!
Thank you sir! It feels fantastic -- honestly much easier getting to 60 days no MO than I remember it being in past cycles of no MO which I guess is another sign of healing
My man! The cold showers are AWESOME. I'm at 2min now and fully plan on doing this for many, many years to come (will only skip if it I'm sick as not great to take cold showers when you have a cold haha -- though apparently cold showers actually strengthen your immune system so you'll get sick less often!). Thank you so much for introducing the idea, it's a big endorphin rush when you do them and they lower cortisol levels in your body as well -- very big for me as sometimes I have trouble sleeping when I overthink stuff
Journaling is also working out well -- right now I'm really digging deep into emotions / feelings, but frankly can do better on incorporating the gratitude element at the end of the journaling session. Fantastic idea and I WILL do it as per your suggestion man. Honestly feeling better every day
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Love you man! All thanks to your nudging. It's honestly much easier doing no MO now than I remember for past cycles -- I think it's a combination of my brain normalizing to dopamine spikes from the long abstention from porn, stronger willpower from denying this habit (willpower is a muscle like any other!), and a stronger desire to commit to no MO. It's all upside from here man
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 425 no porn
Day 62 no MO
Day 7 cold shower
Day 7 journaling
Good sleep last night as well, again I credit the cold showers and journaling. Mentally feeling better over time, and resisting the MO cravings much easier now as well given I'm over a year out from quitting porn. Hope everyone is well
Day 62 no MO
Day 7 cold shower
Day 7 journaling
Good sleep last night as well, again I credit the cold showers and journaling. Mentally feeling better over time, and resisting the MO cravings much easier now as well given I'm over a year out from quitting porn. Hope everyone is well
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
King!
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 429 no porn
Day 66 no MO
Day 11 cold shower
Day 11 journaling
Just going about my regular business. Work is a bit rough these days with a hard-ass boss, but them's the strokes. Otherwise, staying strong on the no MO. I get mild urges once in a while but again it's way easier than back in the day. I do get my moments of doubt sometimes but gotta keep with it. Hasn't even been 3 months of hard-mode yet so we got a ways to go
Day 66 no MO
Day 11 cold shower
Day 11 journaling
Just going about my regular business. Work is a bit rough these days with a hard-ass boss, but them's the strokes. Otherwise, staying strong on the no MO. I get mild urges once in a while but again it's way easier than back in the day. I do get my moments of doubt sometimes but gotta keep with it. Hasn't even been 3 months of hard-mode yet so we got a ways to go
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 432 no porn
Day 69 no MO
Day 14 cold shower
Took journaling off as I sort of fell off that wagon. Thing is though, many days I just feel great and there's nothing to journal. I wonder if I should keep that one for just days where things bother me. The challenge is you're not supposed to do it right before bed but rather a few hours before, which is obviously hard to remember and doubly so if you have plans for those hours with other people. Last night I did have some stuff that really bothered me but I got home at 11:30pm so I just crashed. Today I'm going to certainly journal
Anyway, debating this one a bit more. Sticking with cold showers 100% though. Anyway, nothing big to report but I'm planning to educate myself a bit more on tips and tricks for rebooters again. I had a moment of weakness yesterday -- was feeling really shitty and that tempted me to want to use porn to feel better. However, this has been pounded into my skull MANY times from other reboot stories that one of the biggest reasons for relapse was using porn to stop feeling bad. So even as I had that artificial dopamine try to convince me, I remembered this and stayed strong. Right here at one of the sources which explains it super well -- https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/too...ters/the-top-3-fatal-mistakes-rebooters-make/
I've been out of town with my fam for a few weeks, heading back to my place in a couple days. I've tried to stay disciplined on food / working out (though it's been a bit less so than when I'm in my own place), really hoping I'll have shed a couple pounds (maybe 157-158lb?) by the time I get back on my scale. Either way, if I haven't -- not going to waste (much) time feeling bad. I'm going to make the necessary adjustments (which are pretty much just diet given I'm working on a good amount and getting 7-8 hours of sleep!). I can and will make it
Day 69 no MO
Day 14 cold shower
Took journaling off as I sort of fell off that wagon. Thing is though, many days I just feel great and there's nothing to journal. I wonder if I should keep that one for just days where things bother me. The challenge is you're not supposed to do it right before bed but rather a few hours before, which is obviously hard to remember and doubly so if you have plans for those hours with other people. Last night I did have some stuff that really bothered me but I got home at 11:30pm so I just crashed. Today I'm going to certainly journal
Anyway, debating this one a bit more. Sticking with cold showers 100% though. Anyway, nothing big to report but I'm planning to educate myself a bit more on tips and tricks for rebooters again. I had a moment of weakness yesterday -- was feeling really shitty and that tempted me to want to use porn to feel better. However, this has been pounded into my skull MANY times from other reboot stories that one of the biggest reasons for relapse was using porn to stop feeling bad. So even as I had that artificial dopamine try to convince me, I remembered this and stayed strong. Right here at one of the sources which explains it super well -- https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/too...ters/the-top-3-fatal-mistakes-rebooters-make/
I've been out of town with my fam for a few weeks, heading back to my place in a couple days. I've tried to stay disciplined on food / working out (though it's been a bit less so than when I'm in my own place), really hoping I'll have shed a couple pounds (maybe 157-158lb?) by the time I get back on my scale. Either way, if I haven't -- not going to waste (much) time feeling bad. I'm going to make the necessary adjustments (which are pretty much just diet given I'm working on a good amount and getting 7-8 hours of sleep!). I can and will make it
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First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Another bit of wisdom posted from YBOP (not my words but lot of wisdom here I've sought to understand) -- the first one has been tough for me because I think I'm staring a little too long when I see a beautiful woman when I'm out and I feel like it reinforces the porn pathways. Actually I KNOW it is doing that as I get lustful thoughts in my head instead of just briefly appreciating and moving on. I'll keep in mind the 2 second rule going forward -- it will be HARD at the beginning, but as many rebooters say it becomes automatic over time. Just classic willpower -- going to make this happen!
Follow the two-second rule to undermine lust/voyeurism.
I always had wondered what was the elusive and blurry line between appreciating a woman for her beauty and actual lust, which leads to masturbation and/or pornography. I knew that there was a place where I could appreciate their beauty, and not be lustful, or voyeuristic, but when I’d start thinking along those lines, I’d eventually fall into lust without realizing it- or sometimes realizing it.
Only allow yourself a two second period where you can look, but then turn your eyes away. This takes a little practice, but you’ll soon find it comes automatic. Often times I don’t even take the two seconds, I’ll look away automatically. If you feel an anxiety about it rising, say in public, then slow down and deepen your breathing.
The two second rule is different then say, ‘white-knuckling it’, trying not to lust after everything that moves, afraid to even see a woman, without falling into that obsessive mindset. The two second rule says, “Okay, you can see a beautiful woman, and appreciate her beauty- but only for two seconds”- now, that isn’t a long time, but it’s long enough to appreciate her beauty, while at the same time disrupting what may be a natural biological stimulus to our reproductive system, where our brains starts seeing her as a potential mating partner. I’ve found that even in the two second time period, my mind can remember the image, but it’s not so burned into my brain. Instead, I get a better sense of self control in public, and it spills over into my private life. In this way, I can appreciate beauty without taking it as a dopamine hit, or something to further unhealthy behaviors later on.
Follow the two-second rule to undermine lust/voyeurism.
I always had wondered what was the elusive and blurry line between appreciating a woman for her beauty and actual lust, which leads to masturbation and/or pornography. I knew that there was a place where I could appreciate their beauty, and not be lustful, or voyeuristic, but when I’d start thinking along those lines, I’d eventually fall into lust without realizing it- or sometimes realizing it.
Only allow yourself a two second period where you can look, but then turn your eyes away. This takes a little practice, but you’ll soon find it comes automatic. Often times I don’t even take the two seconds, I’ll look away automatically. If you feel an anxiety about it rising, say in public, then slow down and deepen your breathing.
The two second rule is different then say, ‘white-knuckling it’, trying not to lust after everything that moves, afraid to even see a woman, without falling into that obsessive mindset. The two second rule says, “Okay, you can see a beautiful woman, and appreciate her beauty- but only for two seconds”- now, that isn’t a long time, but it’s long enough to appreciate her beauty, while at the same time disrupting what may be a natural biological stimulus to our reproductive system, where our brains starts seeing her as a potential mating partner. I’ve found that even in the two second time period, my mind can remember the image, but it’s not so burned into my brain. Instead, I get a better sense of self control in public, and it spills over into my private life. In this way, I can appreciate beauty without taking it as a dopamine hit, or something to further unhealthy behaviors later on.
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 433 no porn
Day 70 no MO
Day 15 cold shower
Damn, today was the closest I've come to relapse in a LONG time. I could not get this girl's picture out of my head and ended up looking and then looking away (rinse repeat a few times like a moron). Didn't touch my penis at all but I felt that heady feeling with the heart thumping and everything...
I hate this process sometimes, but I know it was my fault for delaying this process with looking at this kind of content intermittently (even if I never actually masturbated to it) in the past year. It is really holding me back, but didn't get great sleep and was feeling crappy. I know it's no excuse, but I need to do better if I really want to heal. No more of this crap, I feel like I'm living half a life without having women in my life (romantically speaking). If I ever want that, I need to commit harder. I'm very happy I didn't truly relapse but very unhappy that I even got to this stage at all. Going to think about all this some more....
Day 70 no MO
Day 15 cold shower
Damn, today was the closest I've come to relapse in a LONG time. I could not get this girl's picture out of my head and ended up looking and then looking away (rinse repeat a few times like a moron). Didn't touch my penis at all but I felt that heady feeling with the heart thumping and everything...
I hate this process sometimes, but I know it was my fault for delaying this process with looking at this kind of content intermittently (even if I never actually masturbated to it) in the past year. It is really holding me back, but didn't get great sleep and was feeling crappy. I know it's no excuse, but I need to do better if I really want to heal. No more of this crap, I feel like I'm living half a life without having women in my life (romantically speaking). If I ever want that, I need to commit harder. I'm very happy I didn't truly relapse but very unhappy that I even got to this stage at all. Going to think about all this some more....
Blondie
Respected Member
Nice job @First_step_thousand_miles pulling yourself out of the trenches and sticking with no porn. Trust me, I know how you feel!
I was thinking about you today and how bad ass it is that you're 70 days of no MO. Fucking awesome man. I love how you took a hold of that desire and goal and just ran with it.
Best
Love you.
I was thinking about you today and how bad ass it is that you're 70 days of no MO. Fucking awesome man. I love how you took a hold of that desire and goal and just ran with it.
Best
Love you.
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Great thought Androg. I'll be honest, part of the thing is my self-esteem is not great right now. That's why I'm actually working so hard to lose fat and gain mass, to really improve my self image first and foremost. But you're right that perhaps I need to put myself out there soon. My brain is not ready for dating apps right now so will have to think of other options
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Thank you brother. Really is a scary thing to be on the ledge, I feel you on all this man as I know you went thru some temptations recently as well. Glad to I pulled out of it
Much appreciated man, I'm getting to Day 100 no matter what. And then I'd like to push forward to Day 180 at least if not Day 240 (though baby steps right now)