Another bit of wisdom posted from YBOP (not my words but lot of wisdom here I've sought to understand) -- the first one has been tough for me because I think I'm staring a little too long when I see a beautiful woman when I'm out and I feel like it reinforces the porn pathways. Actually I KNOW it is doing that as I get lustful thoughts in my head instead of just briefly appreciating and moving on. I'll keep in mind the 2 second rule going forward -- it will be HARD at the beginning, but as many rebooters say it becomes automatic over time. Just classic willpower -- going to make this happen!
Follow the two-second rule to undermine lust/voyeurism.
I always had wondered what was the elusive and blurry line between appreciating a woman for her beauty and actual lust, which leads to masturbation and/or pornography. I knew that there was a place where I could appreciate their beauty, and not be lustful, or voyeuristic, but when I’d start thinking along those lines, I’d eventually fall into lust without realizing it- or sometimes realizing it.
Only allow yourself a two second period where you can look, but then turn your eyes away. This takes a little practice, but you’ll soon find it comes automatic. Often times I don’t even take the two seconds, I’ll look away automatically. If you feel an anxiety about it rising, say in public, then slow down and deepen your breathing.
The two second rule is different then say, ‘white-knuckling it’, trying not to lust after everything that moves, afraid to even see a woman, without falling into that obsessive mindset. The two second rule says, “Okay, you can see a beautiful woman, and appreciate her beauty- but only for two seconds”- now, that isn’t a long time, but it’s long enough to appreciate her beauty, while at the same time disrupting what may be a natural biological stimulus to our reproductive system, where our brains starts seeing her as a potential mating partner. I’ve found that even in the two second time period, my mind can remember the image, but it’s not so burned into my brain. Instead, I get a better sense of self control in public, and it spills over into my private life. In this way, I can appreciate beauty without taking it as a dopamine hit, or something to further unhealthy behaviors later on.