I will make it -- Looking forward to taking my life back

[Androg]

What about just picking an activity you like where there might be potential female friends? Hiking? Volunteering? Walking dogs for a local shelter??

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

What about just picking an activity you like where there might be potential female friends? Hiking? Volunteering? Walking dogs for a local shelter??

Fantastic idea -- I'll do just that. I think Hiking would be a great start. I've used Meetup in the past mostly for nerdy stuff haha (video games, board games) but makes sense to do some out-doors stuff. Great suggestion man!

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 434 no porn
Day 71 no MO
Day 16 cold shower

Feeling great, much better headspace today. Journaled last night which helped a lot and got some good sleep. Nothing much to report here except my renewed commitment to 100 days no MO as the next milestone

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 436 no porn
Day 73 no MO
Day 18 cold shower

So an issue it seems, went back to my apartment and the water does not turn cold if I take a hot shower first. It only stays cold for 1min if I start cold (which has been pretty intense haha). But that's ok, I'm keeping with the cold showers -- 1min is enough for 5 days a week and the other 2 days I shower at my gym so I'll compensate with longer cold showers there. Little rough starting off cold (esp in the colder months!) but hey, the silver lining is that this is training even more resilience. I'm all in. Otherwise feeling pretty good, continuing to intermittently journal and of course work out.

 

[Blondie]

Whatever you have to do @First_step_thousand_miles, you're looking good to me!

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 438 no porn
Day 75 no MO
Day 20 cold shower

Gotta be more careful with the shoulder, feels a little tweaked. Started doing the exercises SmokenMirrors recommended and then just going to modify my chest routine. But I didn't feel the temptation for anything porn-related today despite that as I'm optimistic and looking towards the future. Going to continue losing weight as well.

I did see an extremely attractive woman yesterday at work (event planner or something) and that really caused a rush of desire in my brain but in a very porn-esque fashion (vs. a natural urge). That was a bit disheartening but I guess it means I just need more time to really recover. That's ok, I stuck strong and didn't go to MO. This has been a really winding path but as long as I stay strong and avoid the MO for a while to flush this toxin down the drain I'm close to recovery. Hope everyone is well

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Double post -- I should add, I'm not in flatline for sure. I've had a couple random boners over the past month. Still no morning wood but I am getting some more sensitivity. I think the no MO was the right choice, hard as it is sometimes.

In general though (there are some days that are still harder than others) it's easier than in previous no-MO cycles to not MO. I don't want to be a slave to my impulses in any way. I'm really pushing hard for the triple digits on no MO. Going back, I wish I had done hard mode from the beginning (or a lot earlier) and then didn't rewire my brain to other porn substitutes by looking at pics / etc as I think I'd be fully recovered by now. However, I can't change the past and I'm on the right path. Pushing forward my brothers

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 440 no porn
Day 77 no MO
Day 22 cold shower

Sleep was rough last night, but I know exactly what bothered me (and I didn't journal past few days). Had a porn dream last night which wasn't great but shows that it's still working its way out of my system. Staying strong

 

[Blondie]

Had a porn dream last night which wasn't great but shows that it's still working its way out of my system. Staying strong

Stay strong brother. These things get better and better. I'm still having my random days of weird dreams, but they have become better as time passes on.

Keep killing it.

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Stay strong brother. These things get better and better. I'm still having my random days of weird dreams, but they have become better as time passes on.

Keep killing it.

Thanks brother! Hope you're doing well

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 441 no porn
Day 78 no MO
Day 23 cold shower

Another really rough night on sleep sadly. Going to take some Zzzquil tonight (just a short term solution to get rest, NOT a long-term solution). Couple changes I'm making to drive down cortisol levels:

1. Cold showers going to be 3-5min (inspired by @Blondie who takes full showers cold) in evenings when I can use the gym shower which will be 2x a week. Morning ones will continue to be 1min as my dumb shower literally starts warming up after that (wtf)

2. Going to start taking theanine alongside magnesium (which I already take nightly) as the combo is scientifically proven to be safe long-term and potent in facilitating deep sleep

3. Did great with exercise past few weeks (aside from small injury in shoulder which I suspect is contributing to my poor sleep as I'm extremely frustrated that it halted my workout momentum just as I was really gaining steam) with 2-3 days of lifting and 3 days of brisk walking as cardio. No changes here, just need to keep this up!

4. Really considering making journaling as much of a nightly thing as possible. Hard to do 7x a week since I might go to work, then work out and then hang out with friends on a Friday and then don't get back home until midnight. But except for those days, I'm going to journal far more consistently

On the positive side, had a random boner while hanging out with my roommate a few nights back. Wasn't talking about anything sexual or even thinking about anything sexual, I used a pillow to cover it up lol. Guess that's a good sign as I don't recall having many (or any) random boners prior to porn reboot, really something that used to happening more in high school if I remember correctly

 

[Androg]

Day 441 no porn
Day 78 no MO
Day 23 cold shower

Another really rough night on sleep sadly. Going to take some Zzzquil tonight (just a short term solution to get rest, NOT a long-term solution). Couple changes I'm making to drive down cortisol levels:

1. Cold showers going to be 3-5min (inspired by @Blondie who takes full showers cold) in evenings when I can use the gym shower which will be 2x a week. Morning ones will continue to be 1min as my dumb shower literally starts warming up after that (wtf)

2. Going to start taking theanine alongside magnesium (which I already take nightly) as the combo is scientifically proven to be safe long-term and potent in facilitating deep sleep

3. Did great with exercise past few weeks (aside from small injury in shoulder which I suspect is contributing to my poor sleep as I'm extremely frustrated that it halted my workout momentum just as I was really gaining steam) with 2-3 days of lifting and 3 days of brisk walking as cardio. No changes here, just need to keep this up!

4. Really considering making journaling as much of a nightly thing as possible. Hard to do 7x a week since I might go to work, then work out and then hang out with friends on a Friday and then don't get back home until midnight. But except for those days, I'm going to journal far more consistently

On the positive side, had a random boner while hanging out with my roommate a few nights back. Wasn't talking about anything sexual or even thinking about anything sexual, I used a pillow to cover it up lol. Guess that's a good sign as I don't recall having many (or any) random boners prior to porn reboot, really something that used to happening more in high school if I remember correctly

Any opportunities for socializing with potential partners?

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Any opportunities for socializing with potential partners?

Looking into some hiking groups right now but I'm busy for the next few weekends with family so it'll have to be after that. Will definitely get after this, thanks for the suggestion

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 448 no porn
Day 85 no MO
Day 28 cold shower

Feeling pretty good. I was sitting here for a moment and just thinking about caressing and kissing this girl I knew (fully clothed) and was getting pretty hard! She's certainly cute but just a normal body type vs. some IG porn star look alike. What helped was this big session I did before hand. I can tell what's happening is when I don't overthink it (i.e. performance anxiety) I'm easily reactive -- with the gym session I'm filled with endorphins right now and feeling stress free. I'm well on the path to recovery. I get stressed when I'm out and about and see a cute girl and don't get hard...even though literally every other success story poster mentions that's a dumb barometer since just looking at a girl when you're walking and expecting to be hard is moronic (I mean it's happened to me too once in a while but it's not on the reg lol). Need to tone down expectations on myself, I'm on a good path here with the no MO. Can't wait for what another couple months looks like. Looking forward to reaching 90 days on Sunday

@Androg I did a meetup event recently to do a board game night, spoke with a girl. Also spoke with this girl from a wedding for quite a while. Going to continue just chatting people up -- esp women -- as much as possible in day to day stuff and continue to look for avenues where I meet women

Nothing crazy, just posting since it's been a week. On the grind but feeling good. One last thing, weighed myself and I was 156 I think 2 days ago (vs. 160 only maybe 3 weeks ago). And I've been getting stronger on several lifts since then so I think it's fat loss. Continuing to move up and up

 

[Blondie]

Fucking hero.

Yeah I wouldn't worry about having a boner every living moment, it's just not feasible, much less practical! It happened a couple of times to me last year at school, which was great because it did show me I'm on the road to recovery, however, when you have to stop and think - how do I hide this? - you feel like you're thirteen again.

Looking forward to reaching 90 days on Sunday

Fuck yeah.

Love you man, and congrats on the talking to girls and losing the weight.

Best

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Fucking hero.

Yeah I wouldn't worry about having a boner every living moment, it's just not feasible, much less practical! It happened a couple of times to me last year at school, which was great because it did show me I'm on the road to recovery, however, when you have to stop and think - how do I hide this? - you feel like you're thirteen again.

I know what you mean man! I've been getting random boners just hanging out with friends and the 'how do I hide this' is certainly becoming a bigger focus haha

Fuck yeah.

Love you man, and congrats on the talking to girls and losing the weight.

Best

Thanks brother, the path to becoming a real man is incredibly windy but generally feels like it's on the up!

 

[Blondie]

How are those cold showers going for you @First_step_thousand_miles? I see you're about to hit 30, has there been any improvements that you've seen you far?

I'm little behind you but have really started to like it. It's definitely a great mental boost in my day.

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

How are those cold showers going for you @First_step_thousand_miles? I see you're about to hit 30, has there been any improvements that you've seen you far?

I'm little behind you but have really started to like it. It's definitely a great mental boost in my day.

Hey brother good question -- I was going to reach out to you close to when you hit 30 days and follow up on how you are feeling haha. The big benefits for me that I've noticed at least are:

- Massively reduces my stress levels and I feel happier / calmer after having taken them. I feel confident that I have this new tool in my toolkit to really help my mental health

- I feel mentally tougher honestly. I guess I mean this in the sense that something that might have rattled me a bit internally before now just doesn't as much. It's not necessarily even a conscious thing, just unconscious. I guess when you jump in the cold shower immediately and voluntarily you realize you can take PAIN and thrive

- I feel more confident. I spoke to this random girl at the wedding I went to who I wouldn't have had the courage to approach unless the setting was much more optimal (i.e. we're seated next to each other or something -- and even then would've taken more effort). I hesitated for a moment but that's it (before it would've been much more hestitating and I might not have spoken to her at all)

I know you're taking whole showers cold these days -- that's awesome if that's what you want to do but science says you just need 11min per week. So if you're feeling it's too onerous then no need to go cold for the full shower -- but if you love doing it, then absolutely go for it! Exercise also MASSIVELY helps. I only lift 2-3x a week but I walk literally 3-4x a week for 45min - 1hr and 30min. Huge endorphin rush and incredibly satisfying so that's great for mental health as well

 

[First_step_thousand_miles]

Day 449 no porn
Day 86 no MO
Day 29 cold shower

Had a huge porn-style wet dream where I was going at it with the most unrealistic body type girl possible. Again this is just working its way out of my system. I haven't looked once at any IG girls, porn, etc or erotica or really anything artificial in a while so I know my brain is going back to its factory reset settings at its gradual pace. Mental health feels much better too and sleep has gotten much better as I know there's nothing to be afraid about. Anyway, continuing to get exercise 6 days a week and taking cold showers and being more social...feels pretty wonderful. Going to keep moving up and up

 

[Blondie]

Great to hear this @First_step_thousand_miles.

You're right about those cold showers. The last few days I've been alternating between taking completely cold showers or hot and then cold, because I realized that my body wasn't being cleaned as well with only soap and cold water.

Glad you're doing well brother.