First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 474 no porn
Day 54 cold showers
Day 8 meditation
Day 54 cold showers
Day 8 meditation
I will make it -- Looking forward to taking my life back
- Thread starter First_step_thousand_miles
- Start date
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 476 no porn
Day 1 no MO
Day 56 cold showers
Day 10 meditation
Well guys, here's where my head's at right now -- I'm pretty strongly set on this plan for the next 6 months. My MO's have been so-so lately and I came across a porn site by accident which set my heart beating erratically for a moment (closed out of it within 2min -- though I wish it was immediately -- no PMO!) so I still feel like I'm attracted to some unrealistic body types (maybe not the whole shebang anymore but still DD boobs -- I just want to be super attracted to just regular B cups) more than I should be, though FAR better than when I first started the reboot. Here's my plan over next 6 months:
1. Going to do 6 months no PMO. It's gonna be hard but worth it
2. Continue to work out hard and transform my body. I weighed in at 156lb a few days back, going to get to 150lb by end of this month and 145lb by end of Oct
3. Continue cold showers & meditation to lower my stress levels / increase focus / better deal with negativity. I increased meditation time from 10min last week to 15min this week and aiming to get to 20min daily steady state next week
4. Kegels -- I've been talking about this for a while now and I'm finally ready to start. I genuinely think my PC muscles are a little weak and as long as I do them in moderation (along with reverse kegels) it can really only help on the physical side (#1 is to help on the psychological reset). A TON of rebooters and non-rebooters alike have mentioned their erection quality is much higher with it (harder / stronger / more consistent / etc). Goal is to increase my confidence in my erections. I'm also getting full bloodwork done again in next few weeks -- everything came back good like 2yrs ago when I did it, but just again to make sure medically everything is good (it should be but just checking)
#2 and #3 above I'm not specifically doing for the reboot, it's a general life change and I think it will only enhance my reboot. Esp. meditation I think will just help me stay in the moment and deal with stressful thoughts much better (in my life generally speaking but also in staying in the moment with girls).
Absolutely though I'm going to continue to rewire with regular girls in this period, I'm not pushing this off. And if there's an opportunity with a girl, I'm absolutely getting after it. I've got some Viagra with me which honestly I'm planning to take the first couple times -- I've read a bunch of rebooters saying it helped them psychologically in giving them confidence & taking their mind off 'performing.' I've read for guys that sometimes get in their heads that increasingly urologists are providing Viagra in low doses (I've only got 25mg doses vs. the standard 50mg) until they develop more confidence and then get off of it. A bunch of guys on Reddit also report they used it for the first couple times to not worry and then got off it afterwards (some weaning themselves down to low and then no doses). To be perfectly clear, I'm NOT planning on using it LT or even think I need it LT. It's just a temporary crutch to give me some additional confidence if needed. I sure as hell don't want to sabotage opportunities with girls out of fear and want to in fact actively pursue it. Feeling really motivated and excited for the future, I don't even want to recognize myself in 6 months
Day 1 no MO
Day 56 cold showers
Day 10 meditation
Well guys, here's where my head's at right now -- I'm pretty strongly set on this plan for the next 6 months. My MO's have been so-so lately and I came across a porn site by accident which set my heart beating erratically for a moment (closed out of it within 2min -- though I wish it was immediately -- no PMO!) so I still feel like I'm attracted to some unrealistic body types (maybe not the whole shebang anymore but still DD boobs -- I just want to be super attracted to just regular B cups) more than I should be, though FAR better than when I first started the reboot. Here's my plan over next 6 months:
1. Going to do 6 months no PMO. It's gonna be hard but worth it
2. Continue to work out hard and transform my body. I weighed in at 156lb a few days back, going to get to 150lb by end of this month and 145lb by end of Oct
3. Continue cold showers & meditation to lower my stress levels / increase focus / better deal with negativity. I increased meditation time from 10min last week to 15min this week and aiming to get to 20min daily steady state next week
4. Kegels -- I've been talking about this for a while now and I'm finally ready to start. I genuinely think my PC muscles are a little weak and as long as I do them in moderation (along with reverse kegels) it can really only help on the physical side (#1 is to help on the psychological reset). A TON of rebooters and non-rebooters alike have mentioned their erection quality is much higher with it (harder / stronger / more consistent / etc). Goal is to increase my confidence in my erections. I'm also getting full bloodwork done again in next few weeks -- everything came back good like 2yrs ago when I did it, but just again to make sure medically everything is good (it should be but just checking)
#2 and #3 above I'm not specifically doing for the reboot, it's a general life change and I think it will only enhance my reboot. Esp. meditation I think will just help me stay in the moment and deal with stressful thoughts much better (in my life generally speaking but also in staying in the moment with girls).
Absolutely though I'm going to continue to rewire with regular girls in this period, I'm not pushing this off. And if there's an opportunity with a girl, I'm absolutely getting after it. I've got some Viagra with me which honestly I'm planning to take the first couple times -- I've read a bunch of rebooters saying it helped them psychologically in giving them confidence & taking their mind off 'performing.' I've read for guys that sometimes get in their heads that increasingly urologists are providing Viagra in low doses (I've only got 25mg doses vs. the standard 50mg) until they develop more confidence and then get off of it. A bunch of guys on Reddit also report they used it for the first couple times to not worry and then got off it afterwards (some weaning themselves down to low and then no doses). To be perfectly clear, I'm NOT planning on using it LT or even think I need it LT. It's just a temporary crutch to give me some additional confidence if needed. I sure as hell don't want to sabotage opportunities with girls out of fear and want to in fact actively pursue it. Feeling really motivated and excited for the future, I don't even want to recognize myself in 6 months
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Blondie
Respected Member
Killing it like always @First_step_thousand_miles . Love you brother.
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Another realization I've come to. I think 1-2x MO (or even sex) is just the natural libido. Looking at studies, it shows that most couples under 40 have sex only about 1-2x per week. I think having sex everyday (or MO'ing every day) naturally leads to lower erection quality for most folks because most folks don't have libidos that high -- the reason I and many of us who were addicted to porn never noticed that is because we could use increasingly freakier stimuli (i.e. weirder and weirder porn categories) to keep stimulating our brains way beyond the natural level!
And so if a video doesn't do it for us and we're only half hard for instance (after PMO'ing multiple times that week), then we find another video that's novel and even freakier that gets us fully hard. And so we don't think about it. But if we just PMO'd to vanilla stuff every day at some point we just wouldn't be as hard by the 5th and 6th day in a row. Part of this is excessive MO also reduces sensation so we NEED to compensate via even more freakier stimuli. That's why I think 1-2x MO per week for those who masturbate is a healthy equilibrium (or less if you don't care for it as much). For those having sex, I'd guess those numbers could be a little higher (maybe 2-3x per week?) for MOST people (maybe some are much higher and that's totally normal).
And so if a video doesn't do it for us and we're only half hard for instance (after PMO'ing multiple times that week), then we find another video that's novel and even freakier that gets us fully hard. And so we don't think about it. But if we just PMO'd to vanilla stuff every day at some point we just wouldn't be as hard by the 5th and 6th day in a row. Part of this is excessive MO also reduces sensation so we NEED to compensate via even more freakier stimuli. That's why I think 1-2x MO per week for those who masturbate is a healthy equilibrium (or less if you don't care for it as much). For those having sex, I'd guess those numbers could be a little higher (maybe 2-3x per week?) for MOST people (maybe some are much higher and that's totally normal).
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Thank you my man, love you too. Glad to see you back on the wagon and kicking ass as per usual!
Blondie
Respected Member
This looks like a hell of a plan @First_step_thousand_miles.
I get you about the whole trying to loose the attraction for the "porn look" etc. It is one of those things where you ask yourself, "Do I like this because of porn, or is this more of a natural love of mine?" Only you can answer that question, but I hear you, and the further you go on this journey, the better it will get and that question will be answered for you.
And if you're really starting to think about it, take drastic steps.
Love you man.
I get you about the whole trying to loose the attraction for the "porn look" etc. It is one of those things where you ask yourself, "Do I like this because of porn, or is this more of a natural love of mine?" Only you can answer that question, but I hear you, and the further you go on this journey, the better it will get and that question will be answered for you.
Be careful brother, that shit can get you fast. It is a downward road and it leads to nowhere. Just take me word for it!
And if you're really starting to think about it, take drastic steps.Nice!
Very good. I like it.
Do what you have to do. On one hand my gut reaction is to tell you to wait and see how it feels to have your man work for you on it's own (it's a glorious experience) however, on the other hand, if you're not getting constant sex from a long term partner, I can see how that could be a game changer. For example, if it doesn't work for me, well, we always have tomorrow night, but if you're going out twice a month, and say, it doesn't work twice in one month randomly, then yeah, that could blow your mind for sure, you don't have "next night" to see its glory. I'd do what you have to do, it is what it is.
Love you man.
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First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Absolutely my man, I'm done looking at this stuff. Even intermittently going back to it in moments of weakness and looking at stimulating stuff (just pictures btw, not even videos) has set me back tremendously. That's why I'm going for the 6 month no PMO but ALSO not even LOOKING at that stuff. At some point just looking won't really be setting me back (like where you're at for instance where you've rewired just fine), though by then I also won't want to look and I certainly will not do so. Nothing lies in that path but loneliness, shame, and depression. I refuse to go through that, this is yet another mountain I can climb and prove that I can be who I want to be. I'm sure you feel the sameThis looks like a hell of a plan @First_step_thousand_miles.
I get you about the whole trying to loose the attraction for the "porn look" etc. It is one of those things where you ask yourself, "Do I like this because of porn, or is this more of a natural love of mine?" Only you can answer that question, but I hear you, and the further you go on this journey, the better it will get and that question will be answered for you.
Be careful brother, that shit can get you fast. It is a downward road and it leads to nowhere. Just take me word for it!
For sure man. My only concern with this is I don't want to have any sense of performance anxiety with a girl who's new (vs. a long term partner) & psych myself out of it. The Viagra is just there to give me psychological confidence that I can and will get it up just fine. You get it entirely, with a long-term partner it's less of a concern
It is by no means a permanent solution, but as I have successful sex that'll also help rewire my brain to real women and give me more confidence so then I'll just cut into smaller doses and wean off of it. I've read a ton of stories mentioning some guys had the same concern but took it for the first couple times and then just found they didn't need it. Better to have it than not, at least for my personality type
Love you brother, I am so grateful to be on this journey with your. Your casual wisdom and support have been MASSIVE in keeping me going and getting me through rough patches in the reboot, esp. as life really layers on by adding more and more tough crap
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Feeling pretty prolific these past few days. I'm certain I called in the PIED thing prematurely. Why? It's certainly true that there's a lot of stuff I'm just not attracted to anymore (i.e. gets the heart racing in that messed up way we can all relate to).
WHAT I'M NOT INTO ANYMORE DUE TO THE REBOOT
For instance, I do not have any interest in anime porn anymore. I've watched some regular anime in just the past few weeks which got some weird scenes (stuff that I wouldn't have blinked at before -- or worse PMO'd to afterwards -- but now I'm just skipping over after rolling my eyes, not even feeling tempted). I'm also not into most of the porn categories I was into before, some weird stuff in here.
IN THE MIDDLE, MAKING PROGRESS BUT SOME MORE WAYS TO GO
I don't need the massive butts anymore to become stimulated, though I am still attracted to it more than I should / want to be.
WHAT'S LEFT AND WHY I'M TAKING 6 MONTHS NO MO AND NOT EVEN LOOKING AT PORN
What I am still getting turned on is just thinking about hookers and related porn categories. And also really large breasts too much (vs. just a regular girl)
Also like a moron because I had one mediocre MO a few nights ago, I MO'd again twice again that night just to test it and then again the next day. Which was incredibly dumb in hindsight because MO'ing that much causes you to lose more sensation (temporarily) which makes it even harder to get aroused! Secondly, after immediately stimulating yourself to something vanilla someone who is still drawn to porn often needs even more aggressive categories to get hard the 2nd time or 3rd time! Pair those two things with worrying about it and wanting to test it (which makes you NOT stay in the moment) and of course there will be issues with maintaining good erections.
Now, nothing else changes in terms of the plan of no MO for 6 months OR looking for opportunities to rewire. But putting this down on the page is enormously clarifying as to what the next steps are and WHY. God bless all of you
Edit: I've definitely healed in that I've proven I can MO to girls of different races. For my future reference, abbreviated examples are: And from work, Harsh from hometown, Arthi from the event, the middle aged lady in the purple sweater, etc.
WHAT I'M NOT INTO ANYMORE DUE TO THE REBOOT
For instance, I do not have any interest in anime porn anymore. I've watched some regular anime in just the past few weeks which got some weird scenes (stuff that I wouldn't have blinked at before -- or worse PMO'd to afterwards -- but now I'm just skipping over after rolling my eyes, not even feeling tempted). I'm also not into most of the porn categories I was into before, some weird stuff in here.
IN THE MIDDLE, MAKING PROGRESS BUT SOME MORE WAYS TO GO
I don't need the massive butts anymore to become stimulated, though I am still attracted to it more than I should / want to be.
WHAT'S LEFT AND WHY I'M TAKING 6 MONTHS NO MO AND NOT EVEN LOOKING AT PORN
What I am still getting turned on is just thinking about hookers and related porn categories. And also really large breasts too much (vs. just a regular girl)
Also like a moron because I had one mediocre MO a few nights ago, I MO'd again twice again that night just to test it and then again the next day. Which was incredibly dumb in hindsight because MO'ing that much causes you to lose more sensation (temporarily) which makes it even harder to get aroused! Secondly, after immediately stimulating yourself to something vanilla someone who is still drawn to porn often needs even more aggressive categories to get hard the 2nd time or 3rd time! Pair those two things with worrying about it and wanting to test it (which makes you NOT stay in the moment) and of course there will be issues with maintaining good erections.
Now, nothing else changes in terms of the plan of no MO for 6 months OR looking for opportunities to rewire. But putting this down on the page is enormously clarifying as to what the next steps are and WHY. God bless all of you
Edit: I've definitely healed in that I've proven I can MO to girls of different races. For my future reference, abbreviated examples are: And from work, Harsh from hometown, Arthi from the event, the middle aged lady in the purple sweater, etc.
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First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 478 no porn
Day 3 no MO
Day 58 cold showers
Day 12 meditation
Had a bunch of odd dreams last night incl a porn dream with a porn thot. Brain is working out the poison after looking at all those pics and stuff. All good as I anticipated this, I'm going to stay strong with no MO
Day 3 no MO
Day 58 cold showers
Day 12 meditation
Had a bunch of odd dreams last night incl a porn dream with a porn thot. Brain is working out the poison after looking at all those pics and stuff. All good as I anticipated this, I'm going to stay strong with no MO
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 481 no porn
Day 6 no MO
Day 61 cold showers
Day 15 meditation
Both yesterday and today I had incredible meditation sessions. Continuing the cold showers has also been great, and I'm feeling like I'm gaining more control over my own destiny. I can and will recover from this, and will do many more great things while I reboot to become the man that I know I can be
Day 6 no MO
Day 61 cold showers
Day 15 meditation
Both yesterday and today I had incredible meditation sessions. Continuing the cold showers has also been great, and I'm feeling like I'm gaining more control over my own destiny. I can and will recover from this, and will do many more great things while I reboot to become the man that I know I can be
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 484 no porn
Day 9 no MO
Day 64 cold showers
Day 18 meditation
Think I'm in a flatline. My penis was smaller a few days ago but back to normal size though my libido feels pretty darn low. Not dead entirely as thinking of a specific fantasy brought back some hardness but still quite low. Name of the game 9 days out, there are many more days to go
Day 9 no MO
Day 64 cold showers
Day 18 meditation
Think I'm in a flatline. My penis was smaller a few days ago but back to normal size though my libido feels pretty darn low. Not dead entirely as thinking of a specific fantasy brought back some hardness but still quite low. Name of the game 9 days out, there are many more days to go
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 486 no porn
Day 11 no MO
Day 66 cold showers
Day 20 meditation
Progress post - General thoughts
Well I'm certain rest of healing is all mental right now. Like I said, I'm no longer interested in the anime stuff or porn generally, but the fetish that I have right now is hookers. Literally the same girl when I picture naturally I get a somewhat hard and when I picture as a hooker I get far more hard -- I only did it for a moment (though I'm aware one shouldn't fantasize! -- sorry, won't do it again). I'm now sure it's from viewing all those pictures intermittently of hookers / IG girls a while back and fantasizing a little too much....gotta be careful to avoid substitutes.
However, the healing from this is just like what I've done in the past as this reboot story shows --
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...-ed-extreme-fetish-porn-and-other-addictions/
At this point, the 6 months reboot I know is 100% the main thing. I need to avoid even thinking about this fetish or any other for a long, long time and start rewiring with a normal girl. I'm sure all the exercise (cardio and lifting) will definitely help with circulation and my goal is to start kegels in a few months as well, but 80-90% of the healing from here is mental and nothing more.
Other stuff
Btw the meditation is awesome! I had a crazy few weeks mentally speaking starting like mid-Aug through maybe a week and a half ago. But ever since then I'm feeling way more calm & in control even when negative thoughts arise. And I'm not even 3 weeks in and only at 15min per session. I am very excited for where this takes me
My last two lifting workouts have been awesome, made HUGE progress in a bunch of lifts. Gonna keep this up and keep moving upwards
Day 11 no MO
Day 66 cold showers
Day 20 meditation
Progress post - General thoughts
Well I'm certain rest of healing is all mental right now. Like I said, I'm no longer interested in the anime stuff or porn generally, but the fetish that I have right now is hookers. Literally the same girl when I picture naturally I get a somewhat hard and when I picture as a hooker I get far more hard -- I only did it for a moment (though I'm aware one shouldn't fantasize! -- sorry, won't do it again). I'm now sure it's from viewing all those pictures intermittently of hookers / IG girls a while back and fantasizing a little too much....gotta be careful to avoid substitutes.
However, the healing from this is just like what I've done in the past as this reboot story shows --
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...-ed-extreme-fetish-porn-and-other-addictions/
At this point, the 6 months reboot I know is 100% the main thing. I need to avoid even thinking about this fetish or any other for a long, long time and start rewiring with a normal girl. I'm sure all the exercise (cardio and lifting) will definitely help with circulation and my goal is to start kegels in a few months as well, but 80-90% of the healing from here is mental and nothing more.
Other stuff
Btw the meditation is awesome! I had a crazy few weeks mentally speaking starting like mid-Aug through maybe a week and a half ago. But ever since then I'm feeling way more calm & in control even when negative thoughts arise. And I'm not even 3 weeks in and only at 15min per session. I am very excited for where this takes me
My last two lifting workouts have been awesome, made HUGE progress in a bunch of lifts. Gonna keep this up and keep moving upwards
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Double-posting (and long post but I think humbly that it's a very important one) but I came to a couple HUGE insights from reading these rebooting stories. I feel WAY better knowing there are folks going thru this weird roundabout I seem to have done but have still recovered just fine with normal girls.
1st Story - https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...d-recovered-–-2-years-clean-pied-gone.118156/
2nd Story - https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/8-years-of-severe-pied-gone.118272/
Lessons
1. Don't even f*cking peek / spend time dancing around the porn because that WILL set you back. While I haven't relapsed to porn (i.e. defined as masturbating or orgasming to porn), I HAVE 100% peeked quite a bit and that's what gave life to this hooker fetish crap. I know I'll get rid of it (got rid of most of the other fetishes already doing this) but I set myself back in a big way. One of the stories above rebooter mentions is how it's often even innocuous like 'I wonder who the top porn stars of 2020 were' which seems academic and normal, right? Hell no, that's our brains trying to convince us to look at that crap. I've fallen prey to this a lot in the past year . Being squeaky clean is a MUST when recovering
2. Start the rewiring sooner rather than later after your fetishes have faded (after 90-180 days hard mode). To be 100% honest, I'm kind of fearful that I won't be wanted / get with regular girls (which is what gave life to the above fetish) / fail with a regular girl and have put off rewiring. I still have some of that fetish left so I'm just going to take 90+ days of hard mode again but am gonna try to get after it with girls. Part of what's really helping is working out and getting in shape as it's bringing up my confidence levels as a man
3. Amazing how many other people have similar stuff, if not quite as severe. One of the guys mentioned that he told 3 friends after his reboot and all of them told him they had also experienced some ED / porn problems! It's way more prevalent than we think. I had a good buddy tell me close to 2yrs ago that even though he was having sex like every week or two with a different girl, just in the past year even he had 5-10 times he couldn't get it up. So it's totally normal
4. Now on the 2nd reboot account, this truly put my mind at ease. The guy mentioned that both with himself and with other guys who corroborate it, they often have weak erections with porn or with just masturbation AFTER THE REBOOT PERIOD, yet still get hard with real girls! Longer and longer streaks of hard mode aren't the answer here. I'm just going to do another 90-180 days hard mode while I work on myself (meditation, exercise) and flush out this last fetish, but I'm certain this will be my last time of doing hard mode. Anything after my progress from this will be over and rewiring is the last mountain to climb
On point 4, here is the quote from the 2nd reboot story from the guy who succeeded in solving PIED:
"I gave up. Longer streaks of hard mode weren’t getting me where I wanted to be, I couldn't keep doing it. So I started dating a girl and what do you know, it works. I read recovery stories where the guys said they couldn’t get aroused by their own hand but could have sex, it didn’t make any sense to me but it absolutely does now. Sex is completely different from masturbation and porn, so different. As I see it now, erections are only meant for sex."
Here's the 2nd quote from another successful rebooter in response:
"Moreover, I can only confirm what you wrote about random erections when you are on your own or erection quality when you try to give yourself erections. While reading this, I thought, man we need a sticky thread for newcomers because this is really useful information especially when new rebooters always tend to have similar questions. I also want to add to that paragraph that erections on your own can fluctuate heavily without it necessarily having to be a sign for (bad) sexual health. For example last month, I felt like I was in a flatline with no sexual desire, morning wood and urges for about three weeks. The following week, I saw my girlfriend for a week and we had sex several times without a problem. A month before that, I was plagued by many random erections urges and sexual desire for three weeks but with the same result when I saw my girlfriend after that. What I'm trying to show (and I'm still learning about it, too) is that what happens when you are on your own is no valid precursor for the state of your actual sexual health. Bottom line: What counts is what happens when you are with a partner."
There's more good stuff in the comments so I'll leave you all with this. Anyway my mind is WAY more at ease. I'm going to really limit (ideally stop) worrying about erection quality when I'm MO'ing on my own (after the reboot) since that really doesn't matter if it fluctuates -- what matters is what happens with real girls. Really takes the pressure off with my own MO's, whether they are good or ok or bad it doesn't matter as long as I keep the fantasies normal / vanilla (to avoid going down the p rabbit hole). Love you all
1st Story - https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...d-recovered-–-2-years-clean-pied-gone.118156/
2nd Story - https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/8-years-of-severe-pied-gone.118272/
Lessons
1. Don't even f*cking peek / spend time dancing around the porn because that WILL set you back. While I haven't relapsed to porn (i.e. defined as masturbating or orgasming to porn), I HAVE 100% peeked quite a bit and that's what gave life to this hooker fetish crap. I know I'll get rid of it (got rid of most of the other fetishes already doing this) but I set myself back in a big way. One of the stories above rebooter mentions is how it's often even innocuous like 'I wonder who the top porn stars of 2020 were' which seems academic and normal, right? Hell no, that's our brains trying to convince us to look at that crap. I've fallen prey to this a lot in the past year . Being squeaky clean is a MUST when recovering
2. Start the rewiring sooner rather than later after your fetishes have faded (after 90-180 days hard mode). To be 100% honest, I'm kind of fearful that I won't be wanted / get with regular girls (which is what gave life to the above fetish) / fail with a regular girl and have put off rewiring. I still have some of that fetish left so I'm just going to take 90+ days of hard mode again but am gonna try to get after it with girls. Part of what's really helping is working out and getting in shape as it's bringing up my confidence levels as a man
3. Amazing how many other people have similar stuff, if not quite as severe. One of the guys mentioned that he told 3 friends after his reboot and all of them told him they had also experienced some ED / porn problems! It's way more prevalent than we think. I had a good buddy tell me close to 2yrs ago that even though he was having sex like every week or two with a different girl, just in the past year even he had 5-10 times he couldn't get it up. So it's totally normal
4. Now on the 2nd reboot account, this truly put my mind at ease. The guy mentioned that both with himself and with other guys who corroborate it, they often have weak erections with porn or with just masturbation AFTER THE REBOOT PERIOD, yet still get hard with real girls! Longer and longer streaks of hard mode aren't the answer here. I'm just going to do another 90-180 days hard mode while I work on myself (meditation, exercise) and flush out this last fetish, but I'm certain this will be my last time of doing hard mode. Anything after my progress from this will be over and rewiring is the last mountain to climb
On point 4, here is the quote from the 2nd reboot story from the guy who succeeded in solving PIED:
"I gave up. Longer streaks of hard mode weren’t getting me where I wanted to be, I couldn't keep doing it. So I started dating a girl and what do you know, it works. I read recovery stories where the guys said they couldn’t get aroused by their own hand but could have sex, it didn’t make any sense to me but it absolutely does now. Sex is completely different from masturbation and porn, so different. As I see it now, erections are only meant for sex."
Here's the 2nd quote from another successful rebooter in response:
"Moreover, I can only confirm what you wrote about random erections when you are on your own or erection quality when you try to give yourself erections. While reading this, I thought, man we need a sticky thread for newcomers because this is really useful information especially when new rebooters always tend to have similar questions. I also want to add to that paragraph that erections on your own can fluctuate heavily without it necessarily having to be a sign for (bad) sexual health. For example last month, I felt like I was in a flatline with no sexual desire, morning wood and urges for about three weeks. The following week, I saw my girlfriend for a week and we had sex several times without a problem. A month before that, I was plagued by many random erections urges and sexual desire for three weeks but with the same result when I saw my girlfriend after that. What I'm trying to show (and I'm still learning about it, too) is that what happens when you are on your own is no valid precursor for the state of your actual sexual health. Bottom line: What counts is what happens when you are with a partner."
There's more good stuff in the comments so I'll leave you all with this. Anyway my mind is WAY more at ease. I'm going to really limit (ideally stop) worrying about erection quality when I'm MO'ing on my own (after the reboot) since that really doesn't matter if it fluctuates -- what matters is what happens with real girls. Really takes the pressure off with my own MO's, whether they are good or ok or bad it doesn't matter as long as I keep the fantasies normal / vanilla (to avoid going down the p rabbit hole). Love you all
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 487 no porn
Day 12 no MO
Day 67 cold showers
Day 21 meditation
Last night I woke up and couldn't get to sleep for a bit, but got horny thinking about this girl I met at a meetup (Gwen). Got kinda hard imagining stuff but I tamped down on it since I've committed to doing hard mode for a while. All I know is that last hooker fetish and also an obsession for large breasts remains...I need to just reset my brain again to the start with 3-6 months clean hard mode. Last hard mode I did was nice but I peaked way too much and even fantasized a bit at times...this time it has to be seriously clean. I am probably more 'healed' than I think right now frankly. I'm excited here because even after ideally 6 months hard mode I'll still be not even 2yrs clean. I am confident that as long as I am strict about peaking / fantasizing to unrealistic stuff and do the 6 months hard mode, I will be healed within the 2yr mark. I'm not going to place pressure on myself on it but I have a strong feeling
Was reading some more success stories, and I've come to realize it's SO uncommon on what heals people and how they know they're healed or when they know -- the only consistent thing in all of the stories is quitting porn. For success stories, some have morning wood, some don't, some are healed with quitting porn alone, others needed hard-mode, some heal within 3-5 months, some take years, etc
Last thing I'll say -- I remember making the fastest progress last year when I wasn't thinking about the reboot all the time. To that end, I'm going to limit how much I'm on the forum here and just live life. I'm an obsessive person and the more I try to 'fix' something aggressively, often the worse it is. That's how my sleep problems became chronic, and how I fixed that was at some point after educating myself up to a point just not caring and realizing I could live life normally. I'll still post on here but I want to be more intermittent about it and focus on my many other goals, I can't let 'solving PIED" take over every other goal in my life (weight loss, career stuff, etc)
Edit -- Some more musings below for posterity
Couple more things to put on paper some stuff to be honest with myself. I can go out these days and look at many regular girls and think 'wow she's cute / beautiful'. I'm not feeling a burning sexual desire / instant boner but that's part of unrealistic expectation! -- I subconsciously seem to expect that whenever I see an attractive girl out, I need an instant boner. But after you're a teen, that's just not the case. I've read MANY successful rebooters say 'don't expect you'll be rocking an instant boner walking down the street and seeing a hot girl...it will work when it needs to.' Another unrealistic expectation I have is that I should be horny and wanting to have sex like 4-5x a week...which is wild, that's just back when we were addicted. Many successful rebooters say their natural level of libido is WAY lower, maybe 1-2x per week.
Back in the porn days, when I'd see a hot girl out my thought would be 'I can't wait to get home and find the closest physical substitute to her...with bigger proportions...and masturbate to her' and when I would see an objectively attractive (but not IG body) girl out I'd sneer a bit and think 'yeah she's ok but the porn / IG girls are WAY hotter than her'. What a moronic and crazy sentiment! Partially it was because I didn't think I could get that girl so I'd disdain what I couldn't have. How wild is that?
The fact that I can just now look at a cute normal girl and appreciate her beauty without any other thoughts is a big marker of progress. It's also WAY easier these days when I notice a girl with a big butt or something to look for a moment but then look away (and not keep staring like a creep). So these are positive signs. I'm actually talking with this girl right now whose personality I am attracted to and she has a regular body...we'll see where this leads but good or ill, it's practice to rewire myself
Day 12 no MO
Day 67 cold showers
Day 21 meditation
Last night I woke up and couldn't get to sleep for a bit, but got horny thinking about this girl I met at a meetup (Gwen). Got kinda hard imagining stuff but I tamped down on it since I've committed to doing hard mode for a while. All I know is that last hooker fetish and also an obsession for large breasts remains...I need to just reset my brain again to the start with 3-6 months clean hard mode. Last hard mode I did was nice but I peaked way too much and even fantasized a bit at times...this time it has to be seriously clean. I am probably more 'healed' than I think right now frankly. I'm excited here because even after ideally 6 months hard mode I'll still be not even 2yrs clean. I am confident that as long as I am strict about peaking / fantasizing to unrealistic stuff and do the 6 months hard mode, I will be healed within the 2yr mark. I'm not going to place pressure on myself on it but I have a strong feeling
Was reading some more success stories, and I've come to realize it's SO uncommon on what heals people and how they know they're healed or when they know -- the only consistent thing in all of the stories is quitting porn. For success stories, some have morning wood, some don't, some are healed with quitting porn alone, others needed hard-mode, some heal within 3-5 months, some take years, etc
Last thing I'll say -- I remember making the fastest progress last year when I wasn't thinking about the reboot all the time. To that end, I'm going to limit how much I'm on the forum here and just live life. I'm an obsessive person and the more I try to 'fix' something aggressively, often the worse it is. That's how my sleep problems became chronic, and how I fixed that was at some point after educating myself up to a point just not caring and realizing I could live life normally. I'll still post on here but I want to be more intermittent about it and focus on my many other goals, I can't let 'solving PIED" take over every other goal in my life (weight loss, career stuff, etc)
Edit -- Some more musings below for posterity
Couple more things to put on paper some stuff to be honest with myself. I can go out these days and look at many regular girls and think 'wow she's cute / beautiful'. I'm not feeling a burning sexual desire / instant boner but that's part of unrealistic expectation! -- I subconsciously seem to expect that whenever I see an attractive girl out, I need an instant boner. But after you're a teen, that's just not the case. I've read MANY successful rebooters say 'don't expect you'll be rocking an instant boner walking down the street and seeing a hot girl...it will work when it needs to.' Another unrealistic expectation I have is that I should be horny and wanting to have sex like 4-5x a week...which is wild, that's just back when we were addicted. Many successful rebooters say their natural level of libido is WAY lower, maybe 1-2x per week.
Back in the porn days, when I'd see a hot girl out my thought would be 'I can't wait to get home and find the closest physical substitute to her...with bigger proportions...and masturbate to her' and when I would see an objectively attractive (but not IG body) girl out I'd sneer a bit and think 'yeah she's ok but the porn / IG girls are WAY hotter than her'. What a moronic and crazy sentiment! Partially it was because I didn't think I could get that girl so I'd disdain what I couldn't have. How wild is that?
The fact that I can just now look at a cute normal girl and appreciate her beauty without any other thoughts is a big marker of progress. It's also WAY easier these days when I notice a girl with a big butt or something to look for a moment but then look away (and not keep staring like a creep). So these are positive signs. I'm actually talking with this girl right now whose personality I am attracted to and she has a regular body...we'll see where this leads but good or ill, it's practice to rewire myself
Last edited:
Blondie
Respected Member
I love this man. I absolutely agree with overthinking all of this stuff. I laughed when you mentioned your sleep problems because as I've said before, I've been in the same boat and made the same mistakes, over analyzing it and just down right overthinking everything under the sun. I'm also done that with worrying about my "libido" as we've talked about in the past and I now see the futility in that as well. Sure, that's a real problem that we should give thought to, but to be obsessed with it and constantly thinking about it 24/7 does not help the situation at all, in fact it makes it all the worse. Live you goals day by day. Live for the day, and eventually we'll get to that promise land, even though from what I can see so far, it MIGHT not exactly look like how we imagined it from our addicted past selves, and thank God for that!
Do what you have to do.
Love you man.
Do what you have to do.
Love you man.
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
I knew you'd understand brother. Just gotta live life as normally as possible and beyond a certain point, just not give a f*ck. I've conquered sleep this way, I've conquered some chronic pain this way, and I've even conquered anxiety symptoms this way. I know I'll conquer PIED this way as well. Love you brother!
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 489 no porn
Day 69 cold showers
Day 23 meditation
Lol well you might notice the no MO above is gone. I had the most ridiculous experience, I woke up at like 5am and my thoughts very briefly went to this woman (Gw) and I rocked an instant boner. I tried to ignore it but this proceeded to go on for like 30min! I'm lying in bed trying to sleep but just couldn't because I was so horny and the boner was like 80+% the entire time, if not 90%+. I don't think I've ever remembered being this horny / rock hard to just a thoughts alone...naturally the fantasy played out (in a vanilla way). Had to end up MO'ing to just get back to sleep
Funny enough, when I tried to then MO with my hand and lotion the boner decreased in strength. I better understand that reboot story (a few posts above) now from multiple successful rebooters who mention that sex is just totally different from MO and that while they are good to go during sex, while MO'ing their erection quality can vary. Doesn't help that I haven't really had a lot of real sexual experiences either. Either way, not worried about it as I think after a bit more time rebooting it'll work when it needs to. There's no chaser effect either (which I remember experiencing during my first 100-200 days while MO'ing)
Given the MO was early this morning, I'll restart the counter of no MO tomorrow. Not really upset at blunting my hard mode streak here given it's only been two weeks and I'm actually pleasantly surprised by how strong my boner was to vanilla imagination alone; gives me a ton of confidence in my recovery. Hope all is well gents
Day 69 cold showers
Day 23 meditation
Lol well you might notice the no MO above is gone. I had the most ridiculous experience, I woke up at like 5am and my thoughts very briefly went to this woman (Gw) and I rocked an instant boner. I tried to ignore it but this proceeded to go on for like 30min! I'm lying in bed trying to sleep but just couldn't because I was so horny and the boner was like 80+% the entire time, if not 90%+. I don't think I've ever remembered being this horny / rock hard to just a thoughts alone...naturally the fantasy played out (in a vanilla way). Had to end up MO'ing to just get back to sleep
Funny enough, when I tried to then MO with my hand and lotion the boner decreased in strength. I better understand that reboot story (a few posts above) now from multiple successful rebooters who mention that sex is just totally different from MO and that while they are good to go during sex, while MO'ing their erection quality can vary. Doesn't help that I haven't really had a lot of real sexual experiences either. Either way, not worried about it as I think after a bit more time rebooting it'll work when it needs to. There's no chaser effect either (which I remember experiencing during my first 100-200 days while MO'ing)
Given the MO was early this morning, I'll restart the counter of no MO tomorrow. Not really upset at blunting my hard mode streak here given it's only been two weeks and I'm actually pleasantly surprised by how strong my boner was to vanilla imagination alone; gives me a ton of confidence in my recovery. Hope all is well gents
First_step_thousand_miles
Well-Known Member
Day 490 no porn
Day 1 no MO
Day 70 cold showers
Day 24 meditation
Day 1 no MO
Day 70 cold showers
Day 24 meditation
