Blondie
Respected Member
These are great thoughts @First_step_thousand_miles and @Ezel.
I completely agree that it can be hard to go about your day and not notice what's going on around you, either the porn-like advertisements, or the insane shit women (girls?) can wear these days walking around the gym etc. I do think it just takes more time and more healing to get a grip on much of this. Of course, some of this will never end because we're red-blooded males who were designed to notice beauty and be proactive in chasing it and reproducing etc. However, finding the fine-line between appreciating and lusting is something we all have to figure out for ourselves, AND figure it out in every different stage of our recovery. One thing that helps me is to not try to fight the urge, or even, to not get too upset about what's allowed these days etc. To me anyways, when I go out thinking about NOT trying to notice scantly clad women, well, that's exactly what I noticed because that's what my thoughts are on! Instead try to do this, go out thinking about what YOU want to be thinking about during your day. Sure you'll still notice everything you just mentioned, however, don't let yourself get stuck in thoughts like: I can't believe this is allowed, our society is going to shit (probably true), I must fight my urges, modern women are sluts etc. None of these thoughts are ever going to help you (much less get you a woman!), because it makes you focus your mind on the very things you don't want.
I can say it does get easier as time marches on and your brain continues to heal. I haven't mentioned this yet on my thread, but I'll say it here, I don't think my relapse has fucked up my brain much, because I feel practically the same way I felt four months ago before my relapse when walking about town or at the gym. I feel very clean mentally and my world is sexual but not sexualized. I hope to God this is true and that he saved me from screwing up my mind too much this last time around. That would mean I was practically healed before my last relapse, and my one and only PMO session (plus a few more sessions just looking and lightly masturbating) didn't get my delicate mind too screwed up. God I hope this is true, and so far it seems to be true. All the more reason to stay on the straight and narrow because I don't think I would be so lucky going down that path even once more. Needless to say, I say that only to show it does get better, and even though society might not be the way it should be, your mind CAN change and it doesn't have to be influenced by it, and what is more, YOU can be the captain of your own ship.
Let's keep aiming high brothers, and never look back. And let's focus on what we want and what we want to think about during our short amount of time here on this earth.
My daily thoughts are...
I want true freedom
I want true accomplishment
I want true intimacy
I want to respect women
And most of all I want to respect myself
Best brothers
I completely agree that it can be hard to go about your day and not notice what's going on around you, either the porn-like advertisements, or the insane shit women (girls?) can wear these days walking around the gym etc. I do think it just takes more time and more healing to get a grip on much of this. Of course, some of this will never end because we're red-blooded males who were designed to notice beauty and be proactive in chasing it and reproducing etc. However, finding the fine-line between appreciating and lusting is something we all have to figure out for ourselves, AND figure it out in every different stage of our recovery. One thing that helps me is to not try to fight the urge, or even, to not get too upset about what's allowed these days etc. To me anyways, when I go out thinking about NOT trying to notice scantly clad women, well, that's exactly what I noticed because that's what my thoughts are on! Instead try to do this, go out thinking about what YOU want to be thinking about during your day. Sure you'll still notice everything you just mentioned, however, don't let yourself get stuck in thoughts like: I can't believe this is allowed, our society is going to shit (probably true), I must fight my urges, modern women are sluts etc. None of these thoughts are ever going to help you (much less get you a woman!), because it makes you focus your mind on the very things you don't want.
I can say it does get easier as time marches on and your brain continues to heal. I haven't mentioned this yet on my thread, but I'll say it here, I don't think my relapse has fucked up my brain much, because I feel practically the same way I felt four months ago before my relapse when walking about town or at the gym. I feel very clean mentally and my world is sexual but not sexualized. I hope to God this is true and that he saved me from screwing up my mind too much this last time around. That would mean I was practically healed before my last relapse, and my one and only PMO session (plus a few more sessions just looking and lightly masturbating) didn't get my delicate mind too screwed up. God I hope this is true, and so far it seems to be true. All the more reason to stay on the straight and narrow because I don't think I would be so lucky going down that path even once more. Needless to say, I say that only to show it does get better, and even though society might not be the way it should be, your mind CAN change and it doesn't have to be influenced by it, and what is more, YOU can be the captain of your own ship.
Let's keep aiming high brothers, and never look back. And let's focus on what we want and what we want to think about during our short amount of time here on this earth.
My daily thoughts are...
I want true freedom
I want true accomplishment
I want true intimacy
I want to respect women
And most of all I want to respect myself
Best brothers
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All your hard work is paying off. The message of this site is true; stay away from the filth and the symptoms will go away as well.
