Escape and never come back

Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
You know what's difficult? Dealing with a relapse, that's what. A relapse is like someone kicking you down the fucking stairs, and hitting every step along the fall.

You got this man. Reach out to those groups too, they could really help.

best
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Blondie said:
You know what's difficult? Dealing with a relapse, that's what. A relapse is like someone kicking you down the fucking stairs, and hitting every step along the fall.

You got this man. Reach out to those groups too, they could really help.

best
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Thanks, man. I appreciate the support.

You're right. The relapse sucks more than the withdrawal for sure. At least one leads to recovery, the other leads to nothing. Sometimes we forget this. We suffer either way: Relapse or withdrawal. But suffer with purpose.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Blondie said:
Keep it up brother. (y)
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I appreciate it but unfortunately I relapsed yesterday on day 6 and today too, however only 1 PMO each, which is a big deal for me, given the fact that when I relapsed, it involves 5 PMOs or something like that. This time I didn't binge. But I know I can't really be happy about it. It was going well then what happens is what always happens: 1 second of going "blank" and that's it. I watched P for about half an hour yesterday and today as well.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
Day 1

It's hard to write another day 1 here. I fucked up bad.
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A suggestion: instead of writing "Day 1", why not write "Day 90" to start off?

The thinking behind this is, even writing 'Day 1' at this point is merely part of the overall habit and/or ritual- the part where we beat ourselves up.

To undermine and short circuit the habitual side of things, writing 'Day 90' right away can kind of give you a feel of hitting the mark, reaching the goal, and then working backwards- kind of a countdown (to a 'true 90').

Trick your brain, celebrate even your 'Day 1', and you may undercut the habituation of this thing.

Remember: habits/addictions are about mindlessness, and making real change is about mindfulness.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Phineas 808 said:
A suggestion: instead of writing "Day 1", why not write "Day 90" to start off?

The thinking behind this is, even writing 'Day 1' at this point is merely part of the overall habit and/or ritual- the part where we beat ourselves up.

To undermine and short circuit the habitual side of things, writing 'Day 90' right away can kind of give you a feel of hitting the mark, reaching the goal, and then working backwards- kind of a countdown (to a 'true 90').

Trick your brain, celebrate even your 'Day 1', and you may undercut the habituation of this thing.

Remember: habits/addictions are about mindlessness, and making real change is about mindfulness.
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Thanks, man. I appreciate the advice. Makes total sense. I like it.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I don't even want to count the god damn days anymore. I should probably just note the date when it started (March 16) and then forget about it and hopefully I don't have to modify it. Because I've noticed that this process of starting with Day 1 again and seeing how short my streak is, is very fuckin demoralizing. Phineas was right. I should start with Day 90 or something like that and trick the brain into seeing something else because the way the brain works, it conditions itself to react to those habits. Then you see "Day 1" or "Day 3" and say "Fuck, I ain't doing shit, this is slow."

But anyway, I've been feeling like absolute shit recently. Really shit. Probably this fuckin porn addiction gives you low dopamine, low serotonin, low everything. Because I feel absolutely overwhelmed. I've read somewhere that low serotonin might be involved in stuff like that. Probably low dopamine too. It's this feeling of small things need all the energy and all the concentration possible from you to do them.
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey @Escapeandnevercomeback. Have you reached out to get help like you said you would? You told me opening up to someone or a group might be just the thing you need. As we both agreed, "God's lonely man" is not the answer to this problem. What starts in the shadows only ends in the light. If I was personally with you in moments of temptation, I would tie your hands up behind your back (nothing weird!) and we would suffer through this shit storm together. Go for walks in the park. Scream at the gods. Laugh and cry and work on ourselves as men. But we can't do that here on this forum can we? Thus, what other options do you have besides more of the same?

Just a thought.

Best brother
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Blondie said:
Hey @Escapeandnevercomeback. Have you reached out to get help like you said you would? You told me opening up to someone or a group might be just the thing you need. As we both agreed, "God's lonely man" is not the answer to this problem. What starts in the shadows only ends in the light. If I was personally with you in moments of temptation, I would tie your hands up behind your back (nothing weird!) and we would suffer through this shit storm together. Go for walks in the park. Scream at the gods. Laugh and cry and work on ourselves as men. But we can't do that here on this forum can we? Thus, what other options do you have besides more of the same?

Just a thought.

Best brother
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I definitely need to do something different if I want to make it.

Thanks for support.
 
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