Hey man, thanks for the comment. I'm completely miserable about how this page of mine has turned up to be. Literally the last like 10 posts or whatever it's me declaring relapses. There is definitely that feeling that I used to do better than this. But at the end of last year I was completely absorbed in my porn addiction then I had a 11 days streak at the beginning of January and since then I've been posting relapses almost daily. It's definitely not what I want to see in my journal but it's the reality of it. I didn't even know if I wanted to post all the relapses. Probably didn't even post all of them. I've been binging with no resistance and no motivation. I honestly don't know how the fuck I'm going to get out of this, I feel no strength in me, I'm completely exhausted mentally, I'm stressed the fuck out with my life. Yes, that's the point: My porn addiction (and drinking) being my forms of self-medication, as my life got more stressful (promotion at work plus responsibility for people's lives), I've increased my PMO frequency, not drinking as much though but probably compensating with copious amounts of fuckin drowning in PMO and all the fuckin perversions I'm watching. I don't know who the fuck I am anymore or what I actually want.For what it's worth @Escapeandnevercomeback I am always just really impressed at your raw honesty and commitment to keep coming back, even when you do relapse.
Shit, I've sure as hell been too cowardly to post about mine most of the time and end up just going completely off the grid for weeks as a result. Or sugarcoating things. You tell it like it is and that's something I truly admire.
I know it likely won't make you feel any better but I just wanted to share.