Escape and never come back

Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
jonazo91 said:
Thanks, I’m going to try qustodio and see if my wife is willing to be the “parent” 😂 If nothing else, it’ll be good practice for when we have kids, because you better believe I’m locking their shit down tight!
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I can't wait to see how it goes @jonazo91. This is exciting!
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
forceisstrong2 said:
Porn blockers - try Netnanny. Run it across all of your devices. They'll even store the password for you and you have to ask for it back.

Personally I use Qustodio (free version). I dont just block all porn sites, I block youtube, Facebook, insta as well cause I'll start using em as a porn subs. Also, I block all prozy websites and tutorials that explain how to get past porn blockers.

Once I've fortified my devices, I 'future me' the password, send password to myself in the future via email.

Netnanny and qustodio dont affect computer functionality, far as I know.

If you still think you can bypass these blockers easily, then my suggestion is to dump your smartphone, get a brick one, Nokia, and leave your computer at work.

Problem with porn is that it is so easy to access. You got to put stuff in it's way at the start so that in those weak points you cant access it.

As you build your willpower, its power over you lessons. But at the start anything that stops you from easily accessing it is a great help.

My advice is to give it a try
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Yes, I'm taking seriously into consideration using porn blockers. I need to find one that doesn't mess with my computer/Internet speed etc. Other than that, I'm down to it. I've been too self-sabotaging, not wanting to use porn blockers because I used to let my addicted self to convince me that I don't need that, I can do it on my own, "If you can't do it on your own, then you can't at all" etc. But it's bullshit.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Will Stalwart said:
Hope you don’t mind my weighing in. I’ve been following your thread for a while and it’s clear your stuck in cycle perpetuated by your thinking patterns.

“I try and I can’t quit, I’m useless.”

“This is so hard, I hate myself.”

“I fucked it again, I’m hopeless.”

You’ve never broken free of it and each cycle gets worse.

This is the same pattern we see in people with depression, and coupled with your drinking, I was worried and I felt I might have something to add.

Everything right now is focused on kicking PMO, kicking the drinking, without dealing with these thoughts. Someone posted earlier in this thread it’s time to start loving yourself instead of putting yourself down and they are not wrong.

Thinking about yourself the way you are can be incredibly damaging. You need to shift your focus. Train yourself to think more positively. People know this instinctively, thats why the natural response it to be positive, to lift people up.

This is not easy to do yourself, and tends to work better with a trained therapist. But there are a couple of things you can try, easiest of which is keeping a journal (I find writing these things down makes them more concrete, and it is something you are already sort of doing).

When you journal think about making these changes. You can either put these things into practice here or keep a separate private journal where you can be completely open and honest with yourself.

-focus on your successes each day. Even the small ones. I’d suggest trying to find three at the end of every day, and they do not have to be porn related.

-DO NOT put yourself down. This has clearly not helped and you’re still stuck here because of it.

-if something goes wrong, address it terms of what you can and cannot control. And what you can do to change it eg. You cannot control your cravings, and you cannot control a relapse that has already happened. You can control what you do next.

-set short term, achievable goals. Again, not related to porn or drinking. I suggest three to start. (Someone mentioned Jordan Peterson who is of course famous for the whole cleaning your room).

If you’re uncertain as to what good any of this could be, I’ll just ask, what can it hurt to try? You lose nothing.

I’ll also add as a caveat, this is by no means a magic bullet that will fix everything, rather a tool that can help you pull yourself up.

I genuinely hope you feel better, and wish you all the best. You’re still fighting, and that is an achievement in itself (not me bullshitting, just a fact).

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. You just need a shift of perspective and approach.
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Hey man. Thanks for advice. I'll think about it.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 1

So, as it can be seen, I've relapsed again yesterday. 5 PMOs... I'm relapsing too much, too many PMOs. I've been reacting to the urge to PMO without any resistance. As a result of so much PMO and not much abstinence in between, I feel drained, unmotivated, exhausted, depressed and defeated. Doing anything these days feels like a chore. It's like I need to push myself to do one little thing.

After some consideration, I've decided to try the idea of porn blockers as soon as I can. I can't stay away from this bullshit on my own, it seems. I seriously need to restrict the access to porn.
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
After some consideration, I've decided to try the idea of porn blockers as soon as I can. I can't stay away from this bullshit on my own, it seems. I seriously need to restrict the access to porn.
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This is great news @Escapeandnevercomeback. I don't know know anything about those, but from what @forceisstrong2 is saying, there seems to be a good way of doing it, where you can send a password to your better self sometime down the road. That would be sweet!

Either way, I hope it works.

Best
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Blondie said:
This is great news @Escapeandnevercomeback. I don't know know anything about those, but from what @forceisstrong2 is saying, there seems to be a good way of doing it, where you can send a password to your better self sometime down the road. That would be sweet!

Either way, I hope it works.

Best
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If you have someone to give the password to it would probably be great. Imagine having to justify why you want the password back :LOL:
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
Good job on at least passing the test, that is good. I know when I relapsed a while back, the porn distraction is a real thing while taking tests etc., and it only reminded me of how much I hate it, and how much better my life was over the two years before!

Have you looked anymore into the porn blockers?

Best
 
the_badger

the_badger

Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
About the porn blockers... You know, I would like something less complicated where I could block some things, set a password and give it to someone or something like that, set a password I can't remember and give it to someone to keep it, I don't want some stuff where I need other people to monitor me and block stuff for me. So I don't know, I have absolutely no experience with porn blockers, I only know a few by names, I will have to do some research on this.
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As you asked for bluntness some time ago: you are bullshitting yourself. Finding reasons not to do it. This really is no rocket science and nothing that needs extensive research. I have set up Qustodio on all my devices without any problem. I don't notice any change in internet speed (as you worried). And even if it would affect your speed, seriously, fuck it. What's more important, leaving porn behind or to keep spending too much time in front of the computer enjoining full internet speed? Do yourself a favor and set it up NOW!
 
96LostWanderer

96LostWanderer

Active Member
Have you considered going to the doctor about your mental health? Certain comments you have made, including feeling like an ‘empty vase’, make me think of depression. I’m not sure what part of the world you’re in, but if it’s the UK or the US, there are treatments/therapies doctors can offer for low mood and mental health difficulties. You would probably find it easier to tackle your addiction if you look at your mental health more generally.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
96LostWanderer said:
Have you considered going to the doctor about your mental health? Certain comments you have made, including feeling like an ‘empty vase’, make me think of depression. I’m not sure what part of the world you’re in, but if it’s the UK or the US, there are treatments/therapies doctors can offer for low mood and mental health difficulties. You would probably find it easier to tackle your addiction if you look at your mental health more generally.
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Maybe you're right man.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I'm not doing well, jerkin off to porn too much lately, I'm only 1 day clean. It's depressing to read that. Been drinkin too much as well, hiding my bottles from my parents, my computer room is fuckin packed with hidden whisky, cognac, vodka bottles. I've failed to find a way to dispose them, if my father sees all the fuckin bottles I've been collecting, he'll be really sad. I have to hide them in my bag going towards work and throw them away in the city. I mean, he knows about it but it's not really in plain sight, I'm disgusted by this behavior (Behaviors).
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Relapsed again. 3 times. I don't even resist anymore. I can't even make it to 1 week. I've been increasing my consumption of other dopamine releasing vices/addictions because I feel so low in dopamine.
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
It's not that I don't care about quitting this shit because I care, a lot, but I think I don't have the will to fight it anymore. I feel exhausted and stressed out, I don't even resist the craving for self-medication anymore.
 
forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
Hey man,

For the past month, people have been giving you advice/help with this on this forum. So far, as far as I can tell, you have simply ignored everyone's advice and just continued away binging on porn.

Unless you actually try to make positive changes in your life, then you will continue living in this misery. Is porn really worth it? Is it really worth all of this misery that you are putting yourself through?

Get some help man. Go to AA/SAA, go to a doctor/psychiatrist. Reach out to your parents or friends too. And get porn blockers. You've a lot of problems, porn, alcohol and likely depression. Be really honest with yourself and get the help you so obv need.

Love, brother
 
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