I really appreciate taking the time to write this man!! We got this for real. The rules that u said about not touching ur dick are really helpful man, imma implement them too. Stay stong my guy!Hey DmdsDmt.
Reading your journal I see a lot of my own problems in what you're going through. Social media, particularly shorts, reels and tiktoks, plus games on my phone, erode my willpower, and give me "monkey brain". Then I get triggered by some content on them and because my resolve has been weakened it ends in relapse. Honestly, your story reminds me the most of me out of everything I've read on this forum, maybe because we're a similar age (I'm 22).
I'm going to share my 2c with you. I don't know your full story so take the good stuff from what I say and contextualize it to your life. But just know everything I say here is with the best intention for you. I really hope you get through your addiction, I'm struggling with it too.
I also used to have the problem where I might unconsciously be touching my dick at my desk or something. Only touching my dick in the shower and when peeing has helped so much. It's a nice simple rule. It's so much easier to win the battle "upstream" than when things have started to snowball. The rules are: never erection test, don't touch my dick other than in the shower to wash and while peeing. And certainly don't touch the dick when waking up or going to sleep. I also now charge my phone upstairs wayyy away from my bedroom.
Social media will one day be a great tool for you to reach people as an artist. For now, it's only holding you back. The benefits which you will get from posting a few videos now while you're still struggling from this addiction are negligible in comparison to what you will be able to do once you're "clean". Cut social media out of your life now, so that you can get clean. Then once you're clean, you're productivity will be 10000 times larger and you'll easily make up for the time you spent away from it.
I recently uninstalled social media from my phone too. When I need to access it for messages I can use a web browser or use my computer. But honestly FUCK the apps. The social media industry steals as much from us as the porn industry. FUCK THEM.
You're at day 5. You know the more days you clock up the further away you get from that "monkey brain"/"poison brain". That's what you're fighting for.
I'm also here to tell you: you can do it. And you will do it. You will overcome this addiction. The future holds good things for you and you're stronger than you think. Take it a day at a time.
Every day you're fighting for your life. The porn industry and social media industry is fighting to take it from you. Be your own best friend, don't be hard on yourself, manage your self-talk, you are not your own worst enemy, you're there to help keep yourself on track.
I'm terrified I'm going to relapse myself. It's so easy to do. I'm fighting alongside you.
Best of luck buddy. Don't fucking give up.