Great job getting past that hurdle of seeing a sexy woman on the internet. I've given in so many times before; it feels instinctive to give in right there. I don't have a smartphone yet because I don't think I could handle it, but I'm making progress on handling the internet. It's encouraging to see you overcome the urge. Great job, and keep it up!
Successful reboot?
- Thread starter TiramiSu
- Start date
I appreciate your comment a lot. It boils down to: If I want to change my life, I need to change something myself.
At the same time, I thought of it as horrifying how really stupid the brain is....and how easy it is.
But this experience made me really aware of how weak my brain used to be.
Not pmoing anymore makes me feel a lot more free and kind of innocent even. Because I just notice a lot more. This is not only related to women. I even notice myself and my thinking more...
Stopping to jerk off all the time to pixels is really the best decision ever.
At the same time, I thought of it as horrifying how really stupid the brain is....and how easy it is.
But this experience made me really aware of how weak my brain used to be.
Not pmoing anymore makes me feel a lot more free and kind of innocent even. Because I just notice a lot more. This is not only related to women. I even notice myself and my thinking more...
Stopping to jerk off all the time to pixels is really the best decision ever.
rebootrapp
Active Member
Good job man. It's a tough thing, because like you said you're so used to just taking that little bit of blood rush and using it to PMO, whether or not the woman you saw was naked.
Kudos to you sir. Keep up the good work!
Kudos to you sir. Keep up the good work!
Day 18:
thanks a lot for the nice comment.
What works for me most is physical exercise. It helps me to release. And I quite love it.
This thing two days ago was a huge revelation to me of I directly wanted to wank and then finally just stopped.
PMOing is also weird - because the orgasm is orgasm and I find it as intense with or without pmoing. and without pmoing it is so much faster and we get the same results.
It is also terrifying how much time I did spend on shaking hands with the president. I should rather meditated all the time.
I will explain to my children in a good way that it is best to just leave.
One problem with our education was also parents didnt really know about it or didnt want to know about it....
Anyways I am thankful for this forum. This really helps to get rid of this beast.
thanks a lot for the nice comment.
What works for me most is physical exercise. It helps me to release. And I quite love it.
This thing two days ago was a huge revelation to me of I directly wanted to wank and then finally just stopped.
PMOing is also weird - because the orgasm is orgasm and I find it as intense with or without pmoing. and without pmoing it is so much faster and we get the same results.
It is also terrifying how much time I did spend on shaking hands with the president. I should rather meditated all the time.
I will explain to my children in a good way that it is best to just leave.
One problem with our education was also parents didnt really know about it or didnt want to know about it....
Anyways I am thankful for this forum. This really helps to get rid of this beast.
Day 19
sorry I will be just writing down my thoughts now. Not in a particular order.
no real thoughts or cravings. But I have also realized sometimes the cravings come out of nowhere.
yesterday I also rode my bicycle for 30 k. So I was just tired. My brain was not thinking anymore.
When I was young, I was so bad that I could not even tidy up my room for 45 minutes in a row. After 45 minutes I just wanted to pmo.
I was similar to a couple of other people here on the forum: I always had some gf or affairs but I would still pmo even after having sex.
I read quite a good book. It is called the blue book by the AA. somebody said just to replace the alcoholism with pmo. then it is almost the same. I ended up being shocked how sometimes small decisions can fuck up a life. And how alcohol would in general fuck people up. So for me, it helped reading the stories of alcoholics.
My huge interest in pmoing was because of me not being assertive enough and not coping with any problems and being a pussy. So I want to change all of that.
This No More Mr. Nice Guy book is good, but in general I read a lot of books about manhood and what it really means to be a true man.
I personally found after reading these books, I just didnt want to pmo anymore, at least most of the time. So my advise is to just read a lot of books on manhood.
Because essentially jerking off too much is like a baby, a man is supposed to not rely on sex and touches for his happiness. It should be complementary.
The key is to find some hobby that I really love.
sorry I will be just writing down my thoughts now. Not in a particular order.
no real thoughts or cravings. But I have also realized sometimes the cravings come out of nowhere.
yesterday I also rode my bicycle for 30 k. So I was just tired. My brain was not thinking anymore.
When I was young, I was so bad that I could not even tidy up my room for 45 minutes in a row. After 45 minutes I just wanted to pmo.
I was similar to a couple of other people here on the forum: I always had some gf or affairs but I would still pmo even after having sex.
I read quite a good book. It is called the blue book by the AA. somebody said just to replace the alcoholism with pmo. then it is almost the same. I ended up being shocked how sometimes small decisions can fuck up a life. And how alcohol would in general fuck people up. So for me, it helped reading the stories of alcoholics.
My huge interest in pmoing was because of me not being assertive enough and not coping with any problems and being a pussy. So I want to change all of that.
This No More Mr. Nice Guy book is good, but in general I read a lot of books about manhood and what it really means to be a true man.
I personally found after reading these books, I just didnt want to pmo anymore, at least most of the time. So my advise is to just read a lot of books on manhood.
Because essentially jerking off too much is like a baby, a man is supposed to not rely on sex and touches for his happiness. It should be complementary.
The key is to find some hobby that I really love.
further thoughts:
Male Role Models. I have now my own male role models. I do not want to compare myself with them but sometimes it helps to look at other successful men in life. Would they jerk off all day long? Nope....so I do not want to do either.
The book from Napoleon Hill is also a good read. He talked about transforming sexual energy and using it for different purposes.
in the future I just want to less think about women and more focus on men stuff.
The problem about me in the past was also I thought way too much about women. Why always think about women? It was also a way of not avoiding about doing the uncomfortable things what men just need to do. Men need to conquer, build and fight something in a positive way. But jerking off all the time did not turn me into a man. It did quite the opposite. I was more like a pussy. This is why I really try to always think about what my male role models would do in specific situations.
Male Role Models. I have now my own male role models. I do not want to compare myself with them but sometimes it helps to look at other successful men in life. Would they jerk off all day long? Nope....so I do not want to do either.
The book from Napoleon Hill is also a good read. He talked about transforming sexual energy and using it for different purposes.
in the future I just want to less think about women and more focus on men stuff.
The problem about me in the past was also I thought way too much about women. Why always think about women? It was also a way of not avoiding about doing the uncomfortable things what men just need to do. Men need to conquer, build and fight something in a positive way. But jerking off all the time did not turn me into a man. It did quite the opposite. I was more like a pussy. This is why I really try to always think about what my male role models would do in specific situations.
Day 20:
I still havent conquered the beast yet. I did not pmo, but I had thoughts about acting out after my partner told me to live out my fantasies with a prostitute - because I asked my partner to do something that happens more in porn. And this is really the bad thing: I have gotten used to porn life and that I have thought women should act like porno stars. But this is NOT life. Obviously I did not act out because I had always been faithful to my partner because I love my partner. But the fact that these thoughts came about acting out with a prostitute really showed me I still have work to do in my life. For me, I just always want to tell myself I have a wonderful partner. And losing a partner because of egoistic childish behaviour would proof I would have been a pussy. But I am a man so I will not do it. But learning from yesterday: I have proof for myself life is not porn and porn is not life. Porn gives a wrong education of women. I also sometimes still have feeling of angryness towards to family members because they were always hyperworried about me. But it is time to move on and mentally completely separate myself from them. I wasnt even allowed to go to the soccer team when I was young because the boys there would be rough. What bullshit. it is important to deal with everyone. I was brought up in an environment of superworriedness, actually sometimes I thought some of my family members wanted to evade reality themselves so it seemed a natural career that I would do the same. But I want to learn to withstand hard and difficult moments in life. I do not want to evade reality. I want to be assertive. I want to stand up for my rights. So again, I want to embrace life as it is. When I was young I did not stand up for myself, but now I really really do want to stand up for myself. Even if it causes severe conflicts. But that is life. That is reality. Reality is not always fun. The danger about porn and prostitutes is that they numb reality.
But anyways to come to the good part of today: 20 days no porn.no porn substitutes. Mainly again thanks to this forum. This journal is really weird because it helps so much to write down thoughts. Probably this journal helps more than anything. So thank you to Gabe who opened this webpage. He really helps a lot with that.
I still havent conquered the beast yet. I did not pmo, but I had thoughts about acting out after my partner told me to live out my fantasies with a prostitute - because I asked my partner to do something that happens more in porn. And this is really the bad thing: I have gotten used to porn life and that I have thought women should act like porno stars. But this is NOT life. Obviously I did not act out because I had always been faithful to my partner because I love my partner. But the fact that these thoughts came about acting out with a prostitute really showed me I still have work to do in my life. For me, I just always want to tell myself I have a wonderful partner. And losing a partner because of egoistic childish behaviour would proof I would have been a pussy. But I am a man so I will not do it. But learning from yesterday: I have proof for myself life is not porn and porn is not life. Porn gives a wrong education of women. I also sometimes still have feeling of angryness towards to family members because they were always hyperworried about me. But it is time to move on and mentally completely separate myself from them. I wasnt even allowed to go to the soccer team when I was young because the boys there would be rough. What bullshit. it is important to deal with everyone. I was brought up in an environment of superworriedness, actually sometimes I thought some of my family members wanted to evade reality themselves so it seemed a natural career that I would do the same. But I want to learn to withstand hard and difficult moments in life. I do not want to evade reality. I want to be assertive. I want to stand up for my rights. So again, I want to embrace life as it is. When I was young I did not stand up for myself, but now I really really do want to stand up for myself. Even if it causes severe conflicts. But that is life. That is reality. Reality is not always fun. The danger about porn and prostitutes is that they numb reality.
But anyways to come to the good part of today: 20 days no porn.no porn substitutes. Mainly again thanks to this forum. This journal is really weird because it helps so much to write down thoughts. Probably this journal helps more than anything. So thank you to Gabe who opened this webpage. He really helps a lot with that.
For me in the past my issue was I was not in harmony with my natural aggression. But being aggressive in a positive way is good. Sometimes I even felt uncomfortable around other "rough" men. What bullshit. People respect you if you respect yourself. I even found that sometimes people listen to me way more if I complain as opposed to being nice. So being always nice is not good for yourself. This is why it is so important to stick to your opinion and defend it. For me, in the past acting out gave the illusion to be under control and to control other people. And I also did it because I wasnt man enough to live out my fantasies with more real women. I have always had gfs...but I thought I would have never enough. But now the life has obviously changed. Now I have found the one and only and want to stick with that one. Anyways, I always want to stand up for myself and be responsible.
I have one more challenge for my life. In my heavy pmo times I was sometimes overly confident, sometimes not at all. So I want to work on being in general a confident guy.
And another goal for my life, as I became aware this morning - always think with my brain and not with my penis.
And another goal for my life, as I became aware this morning - always think with my brain and not with my penis.
Day 21
without pmoing the days are just better. I run, I work, I do stuff in the household. I am more focused.
but it is very easy to become addicted again, so I want to be very careful...a relapse due to anger can happen easily.
I want to stay sober because I want to be a healthy, balanced person. I want to have a happy life.
without pmoing the days are just better. I run, I work, I do stuff in the household. I am more focused.
but it is very easy to become addicted again, so I want to be very careful...a relapse due to anger can happen easily.
I want to stay sober because I want to be a healthy, balanced person. I want to have a happy life.
offaxis
Active Member
Good for you. It sounds like you are doing great positive work on yourself and seeing the benefits. I feel that is such huge part of what recovery is about. You seem to "get it."
The truth is that we are all addicts. Even if we stop for a week, a month, a year, ten years even. We always will be addicts. I think no matter how far you've got down recovery, that is important to remember. There will still be traits of the same addictive actions in all of us for the rest of our lives. It's who are. But that's OK to remember, because it stops us getting complacent with ourselves. It is a way of breaking through the denial. I even find it encouraging too - it is not just about making a decision to beat this or saying it is all in tthe past and you are recovering now. That it was some past self that helped you move on. Instead, I believe I am dealing with it every day. And I will be for the rest of my life. That's a source of strength about me here and now and every day forward. I will keep getting stronger through facing my addiction and by doing so will master it, even though it will always remain part if who I am.
You are doing really good and I find you perseverance inspirational. I can feel so much determination from you. Stay strong in your heart.
The truth is that we are all addicts. Even if we stop for a week, a month, a year, ten years even. We always will be addicts. I think no matter how far you've got down recovery, that is important to remember. There will still be traits of the same addictive actions in all of us for the rest of our lives. It's who are. But that's OK to remember, because it stops us getting complacent with ourselves. It is a way of breaking through the denial. I even find it encouraging too - it is not just about making a decision to beat this or saying it is all in tthe past and you are recovering now. That it was some past self that helped you move on. Instead, I believe I am dealing with it every day. And I will be for the rest of my life. That's a source of strength about me here and now and every day forward. I will keep getting stronger through facing my addiction and by doing so will master it, even though it will always remain part if who I am.
You are doing really good and I find you perseverance inspirational. I can feel so much determination from you. Stay strong in your heart.
I don't buy the idea that we will be addicts for the rest of our lives, the first step is certainly to admit that you are an addict, but that does not mean you can't transcend your addiction. I see the problem much more about our relationship with porn rather than porn itself. Of course there are ethical reasons why porn is bad, such as the treatment of the actresses and actors. Even if they perform by choice, I cannot imagine that it is a healthy lifestyle. Indeed I have read one interview with a director who says that all his actresses have deep issues from childhood, yet he continues to employ/exploit them rather than helping them to get therapy 
For us the problem is our relationship with porn and masturbation, which are two separate things. We all have a sex drive to some extent, this is a hardwired part of being human. The problem is when we orgasm we have emotional responses as well. When we look at porn these emotional responses engage with the images, which cannot respond emotionally back. Thus we learn a very self-centred dynamic for our emotions and can even lose the ability to connect emotionally with real people. This is the central problem for me. The sex-drive is natural, it can become an addiction like over eating, but it will never go away entirely, just like we will never stop eating entirely, though we may fast. The problem is what we direct this drive towards. I have read an interview with a monk who says that the key is not to supress sexual desires or instincts but to direct them towards something higher. Whether that be making love to your wife or girlfriend, or transmuting the energy into something holy (if you believe in that stuff), is not so important, the point is you can re-train yourself to do this. In the last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly uninterested in porn, the compulsions haven't gone away, but I no longer invest so much emotional energy in it. This is a result of focusing on my relationship with porn, not just focusing on abstaining. As someone said there is a difference between abstaining and recovery. An addict will always be in the process of abstaining, as I have been for most of my life, but some one who is recovering or recovered will no longer be an addict, but will have learned their life lesson with regards to this phenomenon. Thank you.
For us the problem is our relationship with porn and masturbation, which are two separate things. We all have a sex drive to some extent, this is a hardwired part of being human. The problem is when we orgasm we have emotional responses as well. When we look at porn these emotional responses engage with the images, which cannot respond emotionally back. Thus we learn a very self-centred dynamic for our emotions and can even lose the ability to connect emotionally with real people. This is the central problem for me. The sex-drive is natural, it can become an addiction like over eating, but it will never go away entirely, just like we will never stop eating entirely, though we may fast. The problem is what we direct this drive towards. I have read an interview with a monk who says that the key is not to supress sexual desires or instincts but to direct them towards something higher. Whether that be making love to your wife or girlfriend, or transmuting the energy into something holy (if you believe in that stuff), is not so important, the point is you can re-train yourself to do this. In the last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly uninterested in porn, the compulsions haven't gone away, but I no longer invest so much emotional energy in it. This is a result of focusing on my relationship with porn, not just focusing on abstaining. As someone said there is a difference between abstaining and recovery. An addict will always be in the process of abstaining, as I have been for most of my life, but some one who is recovering or recovered will no longer be an addict, but will have learned their life lesson with regards to this phenomenon. Thank you.Dear Offaxis,
I totally share your point of view - at least for me speaking - I also believe addicts will also be addicts...so it is very important to always be aware of that.
That was also the issue in the past...I would get overconfident...so I want to stay sober and always have a good level of confidence....
I totally share your point of view - at least for me speaking - I also believe addicts will also be addicts...so it is very important to always be aware of that.
That was also the issue in the past...I would get overconfident...so I want to stay sober and always have a good level of confidence....
Dear Georgos,
you said:The problem is what we direct this drive towards. I have read an interview with a monk who says that the key is not to supress sexual desires or instincts but to direct them towards something higher.
Yes this is the entire secret to all stopping useless fapping. It is all about tranforming that energy. Napoleon Hill talked about sublimation...life is about having goals. Complaining doesnt help. I want to pursue my goals and my dream in my life....
you said:The problem is what we direct this drive towards. I have read an interview with a monk who says that the key is not to supress sexual desires or instincts but to direct them towards something higher.
Yes this is the entire secret to all stopping useless fapping. It is all about tranforming that energy. Napoleon Hill talked about sublimation...life is about having goals. Complaining doesnt help. I want to pursue my goals and my dream in my life....
Day 22
Yesterday only observed myself after two beer thinking it would be nice to jerk off to have some warm feelings.
Jerking off is a bad decision because I trade short terms happiness with long term happiness. In the short run I am happy but in the long run I lose out a lot.
how successful I am in my life also and especially depends on how I spend my leisure time. If I clean up stuff, build something or if I look for dopamine shots.
So for me my goal is to get rid of my aggression in real life. Just act and be a real man. Wanking had turned me into a pussy. The more I wank, the more of a pussy I am. And do I want to be a pussy? No...
Yesterday only observed myself after two beer thinking it would be nice to jerk off to have some warm feelings.
Jerking off is a bad decision because I trade short terms happiness with long term happiness. In the short run I am happy but in the long run I lose out a lot.
how successful I am in my life also and especially depends on how I spend my leisure time. If I clean up stuff, build something or if I look for dopamine shots.
So for me my goal is to get rid of my aggression in real life. Just act and be a real man. Wanking had turned me into a pussy. The more I wank, the more of a pussy I am. And do I want to be a pussy? No...
Day 23:
I just enjoyed being with my partner, observing her sleeping.
A lot of me wanting so much to jerk off was caused by my wish to control everything. I grew up with family members that were constantly worried. So I did not want to deal with this. When I was young, I had often wished my education would be different. But growing up means to accept things as they are and to do things better. All kind of constantly worrying is also kind of a mental problem. As a matter of fact just like jerking off, it is egoistic and self-centered.
Another problem was I would always talk about problems with other people, in particular my parents. But parents who are always worried are not good people to seek advice from.
When being in a bad mood, the best thing ever to do is meditation. It takes around 30 minutes to calm the mind. After that I always have inner peace.
I do not always do it but in challenging times I resort to meditation.
The beauty about meditation is that it lets you realize everything is just a thought.
Whether it is hatred, anger or whatever emotion, just recognize and let it pass....
Yesterday I did not have any thoughts nor cravings. I think I havent even watched porn in a year or longer...
I just enjoyed being with my partner, observing her sleeping.
A lot of me wanting so much to jerk off was caused by my wish to control everything. I grew up with family members that were constantly worried. So I did not want to deal with this. When I was young, I had often wished my education would be different. But growing up means to accept things as they are and to do things better. All kind of constantly worrying is also kind of a mental problem. As a matter of fact just like jerking off, it is egoistic and self-centered.
Another problem was I would always talk about problems with other people, in particular my parents. But parents who are always worried are not good people to seek advice from.
When being in a bad mood, the best thing ever to do is meditation. It takes around 30 minutes to calm the mind. After that I always have inner peace.
I do not always do it but in challenging times I resort to meditation.
The beauty about meditation is that it lets you realize everything is just a thought.
Whether it is hatred, anger or whatever emotion, just recognize and let it pass....
Yesterday I did not have any thoughts nor cravings. I think I havent even watched porn in a year or longer...
Life is also about asserting yourself. Giving in is of no use to nobody and life is about facing reality.
One important sentence that I read the other ? if you do something, do not feel guilty about it. If you feel guilty about it , just do not do it.
Another great sentence that I read the other day was: If I do not think I am tough enough, I just act tough. Finally I start believing I am tough. It is all about what we believe.
One important sentence that I read the other ? if you do something, do not feel guilty about it. If you feel guilty about it , just do not do it.
Another great sentence that I read the other day was: If I do not think I am tough enough, I just act tough. Finally I start believing I am tough. It is all about what we believe.