T
Totte
Guest
joepanic said:
Good for you and congrats!
Hope I can share this kind of success story in the end.
Tom
quit for good
- Thread starter joepanic
- Start date
Good for you and congrats!
Hope I can share this kind of success story in the end.
Tom
joepanic
Respected Member
I think its been about 10 days since my last posting I am now switching the counter from days to "its been several months" since I last viewed porn If I recall I made the decision to begin this journey on Dec 26th 2017 So about 5 months
In that time I have not watched hardcore porn once no video no photos exc
I think I have masturbated perhaps 5 times so maybe once a month
I make regular love to my wife almost weekly sometimes we miss a week or its a bit of an off schedule never an issue for either of us
I realllly enjoy seeing her walk around sexy but it never leads me to porn
Morning wood is pretty regular
I can handle seeing an attractive girl on the sidewalk and control my thoughts I may gaze a little longer than I should but I am a man after all I do not
turn my thoughts to what I would like to do with her
On occasion when I do see a sexy scene in a movie or a gal on the street my thoughts do turn to porn and I think "hmmm maybe I'll slip down for a
quick "session online" but I am easily able to suppress that (my father once told me that even 10 years after he quit a 25 year smoking addiction he
would get that feeling after a nice meal "oh it would be nice to have a smoke" but I dont think he gets that anymore He quit in 1982
More of my thoughts these days are on how much time I wasted and how can I get that time back by increasing my efficiency at life without pushing my family as they are used to a certain output from me over the last 15 years I have had a family I must be careful for now as they have no idea that I had this double life and I do aim to keep it that way as I had never negatively affected anyone. I am finding this task to be slowly getting more easy Its just getting past the feeling of "can I ever catch up and achieve what I always wanted before I run out of time" I am 47 now
I see daily in the news about sexual assault and that the reason is always a man wanting some form of control over a woman I'm not sure if I always believe that I wonder how much is caused by what is learned from modern day porn online We have all watched the scenes and much of it is based on male dominance so perhaps they are somewhat right in that assessment I think this control issue is a learned trait from what kids and teens are seeing in online porn once again proving the whole "brain rewiring" problem something to really consider discussing further No being one for censorship I think its time that there be more controls put on online porn access keeping it out of younger hands But that is a whole new discussion
Meantime I will keep reading here and elsewhere may not always respond but I do take something away with me
Hope all are well need to go out for a while on this nice day
Post often it helps me it helps you
In that time I have not watched hardcore porn once no video no photos exc
I think I have masturbated perhaps 5 times so maybe once a month
I make regular love to my wife almost weekly sometimes we miss a week or its a bit of an off schedule never an issue for either of us
I realllly enjoy seeing her walk around sexy but it never leads me to porn
Morning wood is pretty regular
I can handle seeing an attractive girl on the sidewalk and control my thoughts I may gaze a little longer than I should but I am a man after all I do not
turn my thoughts to what I would like to do with her
On occasion when I do see a sexy scene in a movie or a gal on the street my thoughts do turn to porn and I think "hmmm maybe I'll slip down for a
quick "session online" but I am easily able to suppress that (my father once told me that even 10 years after he quit a 25 year smoking addiction he
would get that feeling after a nice meal "oh it would be nice to have a smoke" but I dont think he gets that anymore He quit in 1982
More of my thoughts these days are on how much time I wasted and how can I get that time back by increasing my efficiency at life without pushing my family as they are used to a certain output from me over the last 15 years I have had a family I must be careful for now as they have no idea that I had this double life and I do aim to keep it that way as I had never negatively affected anyone. I am finding this task to be slowly getting more easy Its just getting past the feeling of "can I ever catch up and achieve what I always wanted before I run out of time" I am 47 now
I see daily in the news about sexual assault and that the reason is always a man wanting some form of control over a woman I'm not sure if I always believe that I wonder how much is caused by what is learned from modern day porn online We have all watched the scenes and much of it is based on male dominance so perhaps they are somewhat right in that assessment I think this control issue is a learned trait from what kids and teens are seeing in online porn once again proving the whole "brain rewiring" problem something to really consider discussing further No being one for censorship I think its time that there be more controls put on online porn access keeping it out of younger hands But that is a whole new discussion
Meantime I will keep reading here and elsewhere may not always respond but I do take something away with me
Hope all are well need to go out for a while on this nice day
Post often it helps me it helps you
T
Totte
Guest
joepanic said:
Thanks for chairing!
Some day I be there to....
Tom
joepanic
Respected Member
Wow in the month of June now in a few weeks it will be 6 months clean
I have to say I am somewhat at a loss This almost seemed to easy But I know I must always keep up my guard As I said in my last post my thoughts these days are more on moving forward than looking back and telling myself I know have the time to do some of the things I always wanted to do but "ignored" and getting passed the feeling that I am not too old to really start them (I'm 47) We will see gonna keep it short and see what I can come up with in my adventures see you all again soon
post often it helps me it helps you
I have to say I am somewhat at a loss This almost seemed to easy But I know I must always keep up my guard As I said in my last post my thoughts these days are more on moving forward than looking back and telling myself I know have the time to do some of the things I always wanted to do but "ignored" and getting passed the feeling that I am not too old to really start them (I'm 47) We will see gonna keep it short and see what I can come up with in my adventures see you all again soon
post often it helps me it helps you
joepanic
Respected Member
OMG where did 4 months go
I have totally slipped away from this fight a quick synopsis
I began to slip sometime in early August wound up surfing a few sights and slipped I felt the conflict at the time which I suppose is good because I totally recognized it so in the last 2 months I think I have pmo 5 times the last being 1 week ago and than it was 3 weeks ago and 5 weeks ago so it seemed like every 2 weeks or so I have recently began reading journals here again and am feeling pretty good about things so the fight still goes on The few experiences this past summer left me not with a feeling of shame but one of "hmmmm that just was not fulfilling" like in the past So I am building upon that feeling and working harder at other endevours to say " hey that was really worth the effort" I don't know if I should honoustly restart the day counter or tell myself I began this journey on Dec 19th 2017 and say I feel I am slowey becoming the winner in the battle
Opinions??
So back here again to Post often as it helps me it helps you
I have totally slipped away from this fight a quick synopsis
I began to slip sometime in early August wound up surfing a few sights and slipped I felt the conflict at the time which I suppose is good because I totally recognized it so in the last 2 months I think I have pmo 5 times the last being 1 week ago and than it was 3 weeks ago and 5 weeks ago so it seemed like every 2 weeks or so I have recently began reading journals here again and am feeling pretty good about things so the fight still goes on The few experiences this past summer left me not with a feeling of shame but one of "hmmmm that just was not fulfilling" like in the past So I am building upon that feeling and working harder at other endevours to say " hey that was really worth the effort" I don't know if I should honoustly restart the day counter or tell myself I began this journey on Dec 19th 2017 and say I feel I am slowey becoming the winner in the battle
Opinions??
So back here again to Post often as it helps me it helps you
uncreatedlight
Active Member
If you PMOed, I would reset the counter. This is insidious, and the number of days aren't as important as ultimately being liberated. Your brain is healed or not. It doesn't know days!
Keep up the fight. We are all in this together.
Keep up the fight. We are all in this together.
huckleberry
Member
Sorry you fell off the wagon, but you are 1 week free again. it isn't work giving up because you screwed up... most people do. I heard a guy talking about drugs saying that sometimes people will mess up and take something, and then figure "what the hell" and go on a bender. He was saying it was like you trip and fall down a stair and you say "what the hell" and throw yourself off a building. it was wise I think. So now we're both about a week free of this addiction and let's make it longer and longer together, cool?
joepanic
Respected Member
Hey guys this one is a bit mundane but another day free anyway I am just getting back into alot of reading here and will for sure post more as time goes on but feeling pretty good all things considered as I am at home off work due to weather conditions so have ample opportunity to surf but am instead getting little things caught up that have been left behind
hope all is well Post often it helps me it helps you
hope all is well Post often it helps me it helps you
joepanic
Respected Member
More from the mundane but this time its 2 more days making a total of 9 days feeling pretty good about it some morning wood which is always a good sign(ill blame the wife for that like I always do I think it makes her feel pretty good that she def does it for me at age 44 cant think of what else is making it hard we'll be back either later tonight or tomorrow
Post often it helps me it helps you
Post often it helps me it helps you
uncreatedlight
Active Member
Congrats on 9 days! Keep it up. 
joepanic
Respected Member
Day 10 no urges I think my 1st reboot back early in the year really had a positive affect on me until my slip up The feeling I have now are ugghh its the beginning again and I did 90 days once and now I need to don it again and it seems so much longer this time not from so much the addiction/withdrawal but just time in general I want to catch up to where I was to feel successful this time I think its just a matter of patience Doing lots of reading and naturally finding time and effort to do other things Not even thinking "I need to do this to keep my mind of P" just naturally doing things without even thinking of P which I suppose is really good the motivations are different
Post often it helps me it helps you
Post often it helps me it helps you
joepanic
Respected Member
Day 11 and what should have probably been a tough time for me but I got through with relative ease It is Oktoberfest and I am involved in a group that puts on the festival so many of those nice gals in those dresses that put everything on display but the hard work is where my mind was (most of the time anyway) came home and made great love to the wife and now reflecting on the last 11 days and feeling confident this will be the time I beat this addiction Tomorrow and Monday will be busy days again and than I am at day 14 again which for the last 3 -4 months is as far as I was getting so totally paning to run past that number
Cheers
Post often it helps me it helps you
Cheers
Post often it helps me it helps you
uncreatedlight
Active Member
Oh man, I love Oktoberfest. This is making me miss my wife even more. It was one of our favorite things to do together. Cherish your wife. This is leading you toward her.
You are nearing 2 weeks. Keep it up.
You are nearing 2 weeks. Keep it up.
joepanic
Respected Member
13 days free now tomorrow I equal my recent records I'm feeling it will be easy to surpass as I am quite busy this week I have had no urges at all Have done some reading and will probably begin posting support to others in a day or so Thanks for reading and support
Post often it helps me it helps you
Post often it helps me it helps you
joepanic
Respected Member
Got the 14 full days in now super busy tomorrow and Thursday should be easy to get through those Still I have to say I don't have any urges at all which feels great I am still bummed at making over a 100 days a while back and slipping even so after the few slips n they were only 5 or 6 times in the following 3-4 months so it was really irregular anyway back to some reading
[post often it helps me it helps you
[post often it helps me it helps you
joepanic
Respected Member
Wow its day 19 where did the last couple of days go Its been so busy with Oktoberfest at our cultural club that I have not had time to even think about pmo And that should have probably been hard considering all the ladies attending the event and there dirndls But over the last 10 months I have fought to change the way I think of women I am def still attracted to them but in a whole different way I just finished reading another journal and he said a few things that really struck me and that was the diminished feeling of self worth and trouble accepting gratitude and I realized wow this was my life over the last 30 years But over the last 2 years being involved in this club I have gotten wonderful compliments and thanks for my great efforts I have never felt better about myself
unfortunately some of the small issues that drove me to pmo still exist and those are a lack of time and space at home to pursue my other hobby of music I love my wonderful wife(who has no idea I am in this battle or that I overused porn to the point of addiction) but she is pretty driven and is instilling that in the kids and there is no changing that I have to find a way to work around it Music will be limited for the foreseeable future the kids will grow up and move out someday and be successful I am sure I will find the time and space someday but in the meantime this battle is more important and I will build upon my successes
Post often it helps me it helps you
unfortunately some of the small issues that drove me to pmo still exist and those are a lack of time and space at home to pursue my other hobby of music I love my wonderful wife(who has no idea I am in this battle or that I overused porn to the point of addiction) but she is pretty driven and is instilling that in the kids and there is no changing that I have to find a way to work around it Music will be limited for the foreseeable future the kids will grow up and move out someday and be successful I am sure I will find the time and space someday but in the meantime this battle is more important and I will build upon my successes
Post often it helps me it helps you
joepanic
Respected Member
starting day 20 feeling really good this time seems to be somewhat easier than the last time i hit the 3 week mark could be I am finally winning the battle we shall see I will be volunteering this evening for a few hours so thats good I am finding my worth
cheers
Post often it helps me it helps you
cheers
Post often it helps me it helps you
uncreatedlight
Active Member
Great job! First few weeks are definitely the hardest.
joepanic
Respected Member
Day 21 3 weeks I have been feeling better about myself as each day goes by until today when some pesty animals did some damage in our yard and its been frustrating my wife to no end and she's grumbling at me like crazy...? although I love her for every thing she is We could cure that problem outside if she would not keep us so incredibly busy She is a pretty driven gal and I cant always keep up to the schedule not to mention I have a lack of time and space to get things done This has actually been a pretty big point of contention between us over the years and is in some small way a part of my porn addiction as when we argued about these kind of things she could never budge or admit that its a problem this crazy schedule we live in I would just quietly take out my frustration watching gals online who gave their men none of these problems But after today I believe she might see the light and has said we will clean up the mess out there and move on from it and not continue the project(which takes a few solid hours of out time each week freeing up time for other things we have on the go I know this is a bit of a rant but its easier to just get it out and tell myself she is making a small effort on this point of contention so shall I and tell myself this is worth soldering on I have no urge to use and coming here to do this sure is helping
Post often it helps me it helps you
Post often it helps me it helps you