Happy new year everyone!
Thanks chris for the encouragement.
Thanks zander, yeah you are right, it means a lot.it was a very close call. I hope you can also get some relieve soon!
2020 ended on a good note. Even though i did not make as much progress as i would have liked, at least i am not in a situation as bad as i was a couple weeks ago.
So in the end 2021 will not much differ from 2020 in terms of goals. Its studies and ED. It was funny, me and my best friend talked to each other yesterday and we are in a similar point in our lifes, where we feel like we have got to make important changes. And we were like tomorrow will just be like another day in the office. Our goals did not change much and we dont need a lot of new resolutions for next year. The last year was all about making changes happen, so will be next year.
So yeah, studies are going well right now, even though i have got to bring more diligence and constancy to the table, now that my bladder problems are as good as gone.
I have got three semesters to finish my bachelor, otherwise it will have been all for nothing. It is manageable, but i have gotta focus. I can not allow this to slip away.
Secondly i will have to figure out about VL again. If thats a no, then i will have no other options, than to start dating regularly. I am now as good as one and half year without porn worhout significant impeovement. Either i am one of the worst cases i have ever heard of or there is an organic problem (on top?). I will also go hardmode for the rest of the way and will take it as serious as porn abstinence. I have got to take drastic measures with this, if i want to have a chance to get over my ED. Good thing is, because of my bladder problem, i had a lot of examinations in that area and nothing was found. So i can at least be sure, that its not cancer or some crap like that.
Speaking of the bladder: i will have to pat me on the back for this one. Last half year was total scramble and survival mode and getting over this long time without killing myself or getting totally crazy is already a big achievement, even though i did not manage a lot else this year. It really showed me that it can be much worse than were i am right now and was in the end i think a valuable experience.
Funny enough in the end i even feel like the bladder problem helped me in a way for my singing, because i learned a few exercises to reduce stress, which seem to be beneficial for that. And at least i managed all this time to hang on to my studies in some way.
Okay guys, lets keep going.