Emptyroom
Active Member
Day 12. I had a close call today.
I am on tinder because I want to meet someone and one profile led me to an instagram-account with half-sexy pictures. I felt the urge. I thought about what I had planned in case this happened. I didn't feel like meditating, but what I did was hold two fingers at the pulse at my neck. I counted my pulse and listened to music at the same time until the urge ended. It didn't take much. Just a conscious effort/will for a moment and I just had to wait for a bit for the urge to pass.
I tried to think about the reasons why I didn't want to PMO but it is hard to think. I know the reasons but in the moment my head turned blank.
The question that becomes important is: Do I love myself enough to do what is best for me?
I want to have control, I don't want to waste time. I want to grow as a person and I want to put that life behind me. I want to feel and love more and P makes me feel less. P destroys the future that I want to build for myself.
The next time I have sex, I want to be able to satisfy my partner and I want to feel good. I have to stay away from PMO and masturbation for a while for that to be possible. P is not the real thing.
It is hard to concentrate right now because my cravings but the cravings will end sooner than I think and then I can be proud of my achievement.
I wish you much love in your life!
/J
I am on tinder because I want to meet someone and one profile led me to an instagram-account with half-sexy pictures. I felt the urge. I thought about what I had planned in case this happened. I didn't feel like meditating, but what I did was hold two fingers at the pulse at my neck. I counted my pulse and listened to music at the same time until the urge ended. It didn't take much. Just a conscious effort/will for a moment and I just had to wait for a bit for the urge to pass.
I tried to think about the reasons why I didn't want to PMO but it is hard to think. I know the reasons but in the moment my head turned blank.
The question that becomes important is: Do I love myself enough to do what is best for me?
I want to have control, I don't want to waste time. I want to grow as a person and I want to put that life behind me. I want to feel and love more and P makes me feel less. P destroys the future that I want to build for myself.
The next time I have sex, I want to be able to satisfy my partner and I want to feel good. I have to stay away from PMO and masturbation for a while for that to be possible. P is not the real thing.
It is hard to concentrate right now because my cravings but the cravings will end sooner than I think and then I can be proud of my achievement.
I wish you much love in your life!
/J