Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 20
I need to up my game.
- Thread starter Escapeandnevercomeback
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Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 0
I relapsed. Once.
I relapsed. Once.
Phineas 808
Respected Member
Congratulations on 20 days, brother! Get up and go again! Don't give the lapse more time than it deserves! Don't be angry at yourself, unless that motivates you. Be understanding of yourself and focus on the positives of these past 3 weeks.
You got this, and you will overcome this bitch!
You got this, and you will overcome this bitch!
forceisstrong2
Member
Escape, 20 days is amazing. Aim to go over that number next time. And start meditating. Make it a daily habit, 15 mins in the morning.
You can beat this bullshit, buddy -- we all believe in you.
You can beat this bullshit, buddy -- we all believe in you.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
I appreciate the support and advice from everybody.
Day 0
As usual. I resisted 20 days and then I PMOed 4 times in 2 days plus a little too much edging... I wanted to keep it at only 1 PMO but I couldn't control it.
Day 0
As usual. I resisted 20 days and then I PMOed 4 times in 2 days plus a little too much edging... I wanted to keep it at only 1 PMO but I couldn't control it.
Hey I know the feeling Escape. I just PMOed 3 times yesterday after 27 days clean.
Today i'm gonna get back on track with some morning meditation, daily exercise, music & getting stuff cleaned up around the house. Perhaps putting together a 'get back on track' routine yourself might act as a bit of an anchor against the chaser urges?
20 days is great! If you did it once, there's no reason you can't do it again. Now let's get back that day 20 starting today!
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Bro, I'm tired of "Relapse/Restart". This could easily turn into a marathon for life. Go X number of days, relapse, start again and the wheel keeps spinning and taking with it my life. This year is almost over and if I don't save it (stay porn free until the end of the year) it will be another wasted year with this addiction.
forceisstrong2
Member
I watched this video from the legendary Italian goalkeeper Gigi Buffon on his pwn personal fight against mental health/depression.
It's really inspiring stuff. Thought I'd share it with you guys.
It's really inspiring stuff. Thought I'd share it with you guys.
Phineas 808
Respected Member
You have the first half right: end the year well without the addiction. But the second half is wrong: that you'll have another wasted year with this addiciton.
Why? There's a difference this time, you're putting up a real fight, and you're beginning to string together lengthier streaks, which done often enough (bigger picture), will change the habit, make it unrecognizable, even ending it!
Porn addiction is like heroine. I'm not trying to disempower us, but to point out how hard this mother is to kick. If you're going to beat this thing, you have to get a different perspective, one that's far more positive and self-compassionate than the one you have now.
When we're lapsing, it's important to get a 'bigger picture' perspective, and don't lose the forest for the trees. Celebrate your 20+ days, get up, and beat that number! Beat this addiction, not yourself!
Again, how you identify yourself is extremely important here: this addiction is only a small part of your life, as there is so much more to you. Don't let this thing define you!
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Thanks, man.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Okay, bro, you said it well. Thanks.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 1
This fuckin addiction will push me to the limits to win. I never thought it was going to be that fuckin difficult.
This fuckin addiction will push me to the limits to win. I never thought it was going to be that fuckin difficult.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 2
Fuckin day 2... I don't really have much motivation to restart. Sometimes I just want to indulge in the addiction, just like when I was 17 and had no clue about what I was getting myself into, but the difference is that now I know what I would get myself into.
As always after edging and multiple PMO sessions, I feel lethargic and depressed. I can't concentrate and I don't have any mood to do anything. Work becomes a hustle. Fuckin shit.
Fuckin day 2... I don't really have much motivation to restart. Sometimes I just want to indulge in the addiction, just like when I was 17 and had no clue about what I was getting myself into, but the difference is that now I know what I would get myself into.
As always after edging and multiple PMO sessions, I feel lethargic and depressed. I can't concentrate and I don't have any mood to do anything. Work becomes a hustle. Fuckin shit.
jonazo91
Active Member
I'm in the same boat right now. I'm just trying to force myself to be as productive as I can be and move forward. Easier said than done. Good luck to you.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
I should try to be more productive too. Good luck to you too.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 3
The worst part after porn binges is the lethargy and depression. It's like the hangover after drinking too much. But it would be alright if I didn't have to go to work and pretend I was alright. I don't have any mood to interact with anybody at all, I just want to do my job and leave.
The worst part after porn binges is the lethargy and depression. It's like the hangover after drinking too much. But it would be alright if I didn't have to go to work and pretend I was alright. I don't have any mood to interact with anybody at all, I just want to do my job and leave.
Phineas 808
Respected Member
I totally relate to this anti-social feeling if I've lapsed or indulged. It's almost like a wounded animal, don't get too close, I might bite!
Hope you feel better soon, brother. It will all work out, you'll see...
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Day 6
I'm tired of restarting and feeling like I'm always heading towards the inevitable relapse. In December it will be 3 years of Reboot Nation, I've caught both versions of the website and I'm still buried deep in this addiction. What should I do to escape, I don't know. Sometimes it feels like I know what I have to do but I don't know what I'm missing. After PMO and edging binges I usually enter what I like to call "mini flatline". This is a period of time where you feel the symtoms of flatline: lethargy, no libido, anxiety, depression, shit concentration, poor sleep and stuff like that. I've been experiencing this for 6 days already and I don't like it at all. You know, without being free from this addiction, I am never in balance, I'm all the time in one of those 2 states: mini flatline or craving + urges. Both suck big time and I'm tired, I'm exhausted mentally, having to take care of my job doesn't help when I'm battling this and I can't afford to lose my job, I won't find a better paid one because I was lucky to get this one, it's not what I usually get. So, of course this is a pressure for me, to do well enough at work so I can keep it while not having much space in my head because of this addiction, actually I have 2 addictions that I have to deal with. 2 addictions plus the job plus the fact that I need to study a lot to be good at work. Sometimes I feel like I want to get a sick leave and spend some long time in a monastery or something, some temple or whatever, and I'm not even kidding, I feel like I need some peace and quiet and some good spiritual influence, away from all this fuckin busy, crowded and stressed city.
I'm tired of restarting and feeling like I'm always heading towards the inevitable relapse. In December it will be 3 years of Reboot Nation, I've caught both versions of the website and I'm still buried deep in this addiction. What should I do to escape, I don't know. Sometimes it feels like I know what I have to do but I don't know what I'm missing. After PMO and edging binges I usually enter what I like to call "mini flatline". This is a period of time where you feel the symtoms of flatline: lethargy, no libido, anxiety, depression, shit concentration, poor sleep and stuff like that. I've been experiencing this for 6 days already and I don't like it at all. You know, without being free from this addiction, I am never in balance, I'm all the time in one of those 2 states: mini flatline or craving + urges. Both suck big time and I'm tired, I'm exhausted mentally, having to take care of my job doesn't help when I'm battling this and I can't afford to lose my job, I won't find a better paid one because I was lucky to get this one, it's not what I usually get. So, of course this is a pressure for me, to do well enough at work so I can keep it while not having much space in my head because of this addiction, actually I have 2 addictions that I have to deal with. 2 addictions plus the job plus the fact that I need to study a lot to be good at work. Sometimes I feel like I want to get a sick leave and spend some long time in a monastery or something, some temple or whatever, and I'm not even kidding, I feel like I need some peace and quiet and some good spiritual influence, away from all this fuckin busy, crowded and stressed city.
It’s amazing that this addiction wouldn’t even really exist if we weren’t essentially forced to be connected to the internet. Most jobs demand internet use and work. It’s frustrating as all hell. I do think something that would be great for men here is being able to have retreats like that where you’re a month away from that crap. But the essential problem is that all the triggers are still there when you come back. It’s just frustrating that we can’t be that more proactive in getting rid of this addiction due to the nature of work nowadays