178 no porn. 26 no masturbation.
Coming up on 6 months clean. I know that will induce your kind congratulations, but really I still feel like I have to be as wary today as I was back in March. But 6 months has taught me SO much.
Not hiding things, even if there is massive fallout - is so important. Number one.
Being accountable and therefore being more of a man. Just revelatory.
Staying away from pornography. Easy and difficult. But so wonderful to be free. If there are some toxic masculinity sides of my character downplaying the issue initially, they left very fast.
Masturbating way less - wow this is tricky, but I am learning so much by doing it Less and currently not at all.
A word on my wife. And the partners. I don’t want to be back where I was in March ever again. It was horrific. My wife has stuck by me and I in turn have done so much to mend myself and our relationship. I have to go forwards, not forgetting the past, but forgiving myself for it. Those were my wife’s words. She doesn’t want anything except progress. Occasionally I wallow in self pity. She says she doesn’t and she has more reason to than I, so no point. We move on. I hope she wears a tight top today - wink emoji.