Pazienza
Active Member
Day 7
Day 3 in a row of running in the morning. I drove my vehicle down the path I run to measure the distance, it's about .4 of a mile. So not a long run, but if I stick with it I should be able to increase the distance slowly. I just don't want to hurt myself, so emphasis on slowly. My goal is to eventually run a mile every day before work.
I see my counselor again today. I feel guilty because I haven't been devoting as much time as I should to my journaling. The journals are important because they are improving my mental state, which then gives me a stronger foundation to build a life on. Like I said yesterday, I need to put my own needs higher up on the list. I haven't been keeping up with them because I have been making the last two weeks a lot harder than they needed to be, by smoking too much and not taking good care of myself physically. I'm hiding from myself and avoiding the much needed soul-searching, because I am afraid of what I might find. Or afraid of what I know is in there, but that I don't want to acknowledge. Hiding serves no purpose, other than hindering forward progress and prolonging the suffering.
No more hiding. Time to face this shit. Easier said than done, but i know I will not reach my destination unless I keep taking steps forward.
Day 3 in a row of running in the morning. I drove my vehicle down the path I run to measure the distance, it's about .4 of a mile. So not a long run, but if I stick with it I should be able to increase the distance slowly. I just don't want to hurt myself, so emphasis on slowly. My goal is to eventually run a mile every day before work.
I see my counselor again today. I feel guilty because I haven't been devoting as much time as I should to my journaling. The journals are important because they are improving my mental state, which then gives me a stronger foundation to build a life on. Like I said yesterday, I need to put my own needs higher up on the list. I haven't been keeping up with them because I have been making the last two weeks a lot harder than they needed to be, by smoking too much and not taking good care of myself physically. I'm hiding from myself and avoiding the much needed soul-searching, because I am afraid of what I might find. Or afraid of what I know is in there, but that I don't want to acknowledge. Hiding serves no purpose, other than hindering forward progress and prolonging the suffering.
No more hiding. Time to face this shit. Easier said than done, but i know I will not reach my destination unless I keep taking steps forward.