FreedomFromTheStruggle_11
Well-Known Member
I wanna post again about something I deleted this morning. @Blondie commented after I took it down. I feel like all of us see something during our reboots that try to make us think we relapsed so that we will use it to justify having a full blown relapse because "Hey I might as well right? I just saw this picture or this movie scene or this ad."
For me, it's always scenes in shows or movies. Makeout/ love scenes, or girls wearing things in commercials that make me wanna not look away. I watch a lot of bar rescue for example, and sometimes some of the girls on there are dressed in a way to get my head to turn. In these moments, my old self, my addicted brain tries to make a comeback. He wants to come back out for an encore. He wants to have a freebird moment type of singalong. For a long time, I was very unkind to myself. I worried myself to death thinking I failed. Constantly thinking I relapsed because I saw something in a show or online. I've since come to the conclusion, that I can't ignore and avoid those things in life. At some point, I'll be in a movie theater and a scene will come on and I'm gonna have to sit there. At some point, an ad will pop up and I'm gonna have to see it in order to click away. In those moments, I give myself grace. I remember and remind myself that I'm a different person now. I no longer use porn. I'm trying daily to be kinder to myself. I hope someone who needs to see this will get something out of it. Be kind to yourself during recovery. Your future self will thank you. Above all, love yourself.
For me, it's always scenes in shows or movies. Makeout/ love scenes, or girls wearing things in commercials that make me wanna not look away. I watch a lot of bar rescue for example, and sometimes some of the girls on there are dressed in a way to get my head to turn. In these moments, my old self, my addicted brain tries to make a comeback. He wants to come back out for an encore. He wants to have a freebird moment type of singalong. For a long time, I was very unkind to myself. I worried myself to death thinking I failed. Constantly thinking I relapsed because I saw something in a show or online. I've since come to the conclusion, that I can't ignore and avoid those things in life. At some point, I'll be in a movie theater and a scene will come on and I'm gonna have to sit there. At some point, an ad will pop up and I'm gonna have to see it in order to click away. In those moments, I give myself grace. I remember and remind myself that I'm a different person now. I no longer use porn. I'm trying daily to be kinder to myself. I hope someone who needs to see this will get something out of it. Be kind to yourself during recovery. Your future self will thank you. Above all, love yourself.
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