Blondie
Respected Member
Hi @Sammyjo,
I feel bad saying this to you, and I felt like shit explaining this to my Lady as well, but to put it bluntly, there's no way you could ever compete with porn, thus, there's no way you could ever naturally get his dopamine levels to rise that high - and that's a good thing! Because with all those extreme highs comes with it, all those extreme lows, and all of it is unnatural and unhealthy. It has nothing to do with you not being beautiful enough, or sexy enough, or young enough, because, no matter what age or level of beauty nature might have provided any woman with, no one could ever compete with the utter variety that porn offers, not even a supermodel!
Porn is crack cocaine, but it's actually worse, because, unlike cocaine or alcohol, porn taps into something that is innate in us, our very sexuality. Us men love women, we love variety, we love sex, and quite frankly, for many men (most men?) those things are not easy to get (sadly even in many marriages), thus, porn is your worst enemy, offering you the world, while silently stabbing you in the back. Death by a thousand mouse clicks.
Needless to say, if your man is saying you're his dopamine fix, that means he's actually living in the real world again, the very world you inhabit, which I think is a great thing indeed.
And speaking of beautiful, thanks for this.
I wish the best for you and your husband.
Right on for you, this is good. Getting off of porn will do that to you.One of the best things going on in our relationship is that when my husband travels he tells me he can't stop thinking about me, "it's like when we were first dating".
This has not been the case with me. I know what you're saying, but the reality of the matter is it's just not the same thing. From what I understand, although I'm not a neuroscientist or anything, there's nothing wrong per se with dopamine, it's a completely normal chemical that we all need; and in a normal healthy person, it's a totally natural thing that will go up and down and fluctuate throughout your daily life. Nothing wrong with that. However, the problem with porn addicts is that the highs from porn are so unnaturally high, that the addict starts to feel nothing below a certain threshold, and thus, a new normal is created. This new normal brings such excitement to the viewer, that no real beautiful woman such as yourself could ever equal, and quite frankly, probably ten real naked woman in the same room with him could ever equal!This has me thinking about dopamine. I would guess from what he said that I am now his dopamine hit (that's a good thing). BUT...thinking about the science behind P addiction, wouldn't this mean that eventually I won't give him a big enough dopamine hit? (Not a good thing) Feels like walking a tightrope.
I feel bad saying this to you, and I felt like shit explaining this to my Lady as well, but to put it bluntly, there's no way you could ever compete with porn, thus, there's no way you could ever naturally get his dopamine levels to rise that high - and that's a good thing! Because with all those extreme highs comes with it, all those extreme lows, and all of it is unnatural and unhealthy. It has nothing to do with you not being beautiful enough, or sexy enough, or young enough, because, no matter what age or level of beauty nature might have provided any woman with, no one could ever compete with the utter variety that porn offers, not even a supermodel!
Porn is crack cocaine, but it's actually worse, because, unlike cocaine or alcohol, porn taps into something that is innate in us, our very sexuality. Us men love women, we love variety, we love sex, and quite frankly, for many men (most men?) those things are not easy to get (sadly even in many marriages), thus, porn is your worst enemy, offering you the world, while silently stabbing you in the back. Death by a thousand mouse clicks.
Needless to say, if your man is saying you're his dopamine fix, that means he's actually living in the real world again, the very world you inhabit, which I think is a great thing indeed.
And speaking of beautiful, thanks for this.
When I read that I really thought you were quite the woman, and it made me believe for a moment in humanity again - I have a dark soul . To be able to hold on to your grace and humanity, while still being so hurt and disgusted by this crap, is a testament to you and your quality as a woman. I really mean that.I DON'T want or need to hurt him back. I don't want to hurt for him, but I do (this is part of my core). I do need to be sure he won't hurt me again.
I wish the best for you and your husband.