Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
PMO x 3
It must be possible to heal from trauma but I don't even know where to start.
It must be possible to heal from trauma but I don't even know where to start.
This feels like heroin. And I have never even tried heroin.
I used to say that porn felt to me like crack followed by heroin, based on the description of both drugs told by other people cause I've never tried them. When I have urges and I started edging to porn, it is a very intense euphoria, just like people say crack feels like, or maybe meth. Then the orgasm feels like heroin, they say it's that relaxing feeling. I could say that in those few seconds of orgasm I feel completely fearless, there is a quick thought that passes through my head: "I want to feel like this for the rest of my life" and then 2 seconds later is gone and I binge all day just to feel those few seconds. I agree with you that this is a very hard "drug" to quit because unless you are completexy asexual and you can't feel interest in sex, it's understandable why you would like porn. "Boys like naked girls" and all that, when you are 13. Anyway, as much as it pains me that I'm here, it makes sense why I'm addicted to alcohol and porn. It's been a long attempt to escape the hole in me. Quitting porn is one thing but fixing yourself so you don't really need to medicate yourself, it's even harder, you need a recreation of yourself. Russell Brand is one of the guys I've been following, he follows the 12 steps model of recovery and he has transformed himself spiritually a lot. I don't think he could've escaped that life of heroin and crack without it, you can definitely push yourself through everything and achieve a longer streak, I've done it in the past, I've done it recently actually, I went 25 days without porn, 26 without alcohol but as Dr. Gabor Mate pointed it out, the urge to medicate my pain catches up to me very single time, there is this excruciating depression and then I relapse. Every single time. This made me realize more than ever that I will not be able to escape my addictions by just trying to abstain. I need to fix myself. It's not going to be easy, I don't even know where to start, fixing myself is a foreign concept to me, all I know is to sedate myself.You're not wrong. While I've never done heroin directly, I was a major pill-form opiate addict about a decade ago. If I had to be honest, quitting porn has actually been harder for me to quit than opiates. This isn't meant to discourage you at all, it's just confirming your statement, and perhaps offer a viewpoint. To quit porn for good, you need to approach it like you're quitting the hardest drug on the planet, because frankly, you are.
Thanks for trying to help. I believe I've read that article at some point. Ironically, they are things I somehow know already but rarely apply.@Escapeandnevercomeback I found this article, I thought it might be helpful....or not!
NoFap – Can’t Stop Binging (How To Do it)
pmoflatline.com
I get this too, after really bad binges. It's the absolute WORST because I get images looping through my brain, which leads to this weird mix of deep, existential shame and unwanted arousal. It's the perfect cocktail to stay in relapse mode too. It sucks. Sometimes the best motivator for me to quit is just to think that every single second I abstain is a second farther away from the last porn image I viewed, so they can finally start receding from my memory (however long it takes, I know it's a lifelong battle). Those images fresh in your head, mixed with the shame of your binge are like hell.Day 1
This PMO addiction is gon kill me. Literally. I couldn't sleep all night. When I binge PMO that's what happens. To some people, staying away from porn gives them insomnia, in my case PMO does this and staying away from porn actually makes me sleep better. I want to take my time to heal, even though I'm desperate, but I can't keep binging PMO if it doesn't let me sleep. I didn't sleep all night then went to work in the morning. I can't count how many morning shifts I've worked already without sleep, I'm getting sick of it.
I know exactly what you're talking about, man.I get this too, after really bad binges. It's the absolute WORST because I get images looping through my brain, which leads to this weird mix of deep, existential shame and unwanted arousal. It's the perfect cocktail to stay in relapse mode too. It sucks. Sometimes the best motivator for me to quit is just to think that every single second I abstain is a second farther away from the last porn image I viewed, so they can finally start receding from my memory (however long it takes, I know it's a lifelong battle). Those images fresh in your head, mixed with the shame of your binge are like hell.
Of course, man.You have so many good reasons to quit P for good! The next day without P is the most important day. Keep it up, you deserve a life without P.