Mistakes now don't erase past victories, no matter what the addiction tries to tell you.
Of course, David Goggins is the shit. I'm very far from that though.The road to success isn't straightforward & it certainly isn't pretty. As ugly as things seem right now, you're still on it. Don't regret missing out on today, do something, anything to push yourself back in the direction between where you need to go.
I know you like this guy so i'll leave this very-much-related quote here for you:
"True effort most times does not look pretty. Most times it takes all that you have and then some. You will come out bruised, blistered, and calloused and if you survived that effort to get to the other side of whatever it is, a new you is born. " - David Goggins
P.S. - And listen to Dungalef, seriously consider therapy too!
I know, bro, you're probably right. Not easy to do but I'll try.My man, you have to stop being so hard on yourself. I mean seriously, if I could digitally bitch slap you right now I would! , not out of hatred but out of brotherly love. You just had a hell of a streak, and you need, no, you must, congratulate yourself on that accomplishment. There is no gain in being hard on yourself at this moment, I mean literally, nothing at all.
You say you're a Christian, which is a great, I have total respect. But I have a question for you. Why did Jesus die on the cross to save us from our sins? He died because he loved us first, that's why. Okay, following that train of thought, why would a man die for his wife or children? Because he loved them first, that's why. Okay, following that train of thought, why would a man save himself from his addictions? Because he loved himself first, that's why.
One does love himself after he saves himself, no, he saves himself because he loved himself first. That's how it works brother.
I know you think you're shit. But that's not true.
I know you think you're too old to get your shit together, and thus, it must be all for naught. Again, not true.
I know you think you'll never get a girl, also not true. But even if it was true, having a girl does not make one a man. There are plenty of men with "girls" who I would never call a man. And honestly, the way you are now, the girls you would attract would be girls that hate themselves just as much as you hate yourself. Like attracts like, it's a simple as that, and right now, you would attract women who would use you to fill something missing in themselves, and likewise you with them. A woman won't save you brother, only you can and your God.
You need to find a purpose in life @Escapeandnevercomeback, like Jesus had and all the people in the Bible and Christian history. Maybe yours could be: learn to love yourself first, then, get over these addictions, and lastly, go to school (or not) and start a program or online business to help others get over their addictions. What a powerful story you would have, but you have to believe in it first.
You are worth saving, but you won't be able to save yourself until you can believe that.
Maybe it's time to get some professional help, and not care what your parents or society thinks.
Love yourself brother and lend yourself a helping hand.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
You know what happens to me, man? When I have longer streaks, it comes as a consequence of doing things the right way. During the last streak, I stood away from drinking, I practiced my keep the dopamine low idea and it worked. It's when I make a mistake that I relapse. This time, like many other times, was getting drunk. And I knew how it was going to end but I didn't stop myself. I listened to the addicted brain again. You know what's ironic? The day before getting drunk I told myself exactly this: "This is starting to be a rhythm, I feel like I could go on like this forever, sometimes urges hit me but I seem to handle it well, the only thing that could sabotage me now is getting drunk." I was in the middle of a 25 days sobriety streak. Next day what do I do? Buy something to drink. What the fuck did you say yesterday? So that's that. Addictions work in circles. You get caught in those routines, those repetitions, things happen in the same way. It's the same thing: "You can handle a little bit of drinking, just make a powerful commitment to staying porn free, the most important thing now for you is quitting porn, anyway, you don't really have to quit everything." And then BAM! You know how it's going to end anyway but you keep doing the same thing thinking this time is going to be different. Did I tell you the definition of insanity?I know what you're saying, but 'longer streaks' are NEVER accidental. They have to be on purpose, and typically (for me) after I've changed some routine behavior that wasn't serving me.
lol right on, I have my "own" style. I'll let my English teacher know thatI love how @Blondie takes a concept and totally Blondiefies it
Yeah I don't know if it "officially" runs in families or if it's genetics or a combination of both. I generally think it's just a habitual familial phenomenon, where a son sees his father or mother "deal" with their problems with drinking or you fill in the blank, and thus, when they're older, they "fix" themselves the same way. I tend to think these "problems" might be more generational than the actually substances we use to "forget" them. Who knows, but to put a stop to it and say the buck stops here, is definitely the manly thing to do.I don't know if alcoholism runs in families, some people say it does because there are many cases with alcoholic parents and alcoholic offspring.
"This is starting to be a rhythm, I feel like I could go on like this forever, sometimes urges hit me but I seem to handle it well, the only thing that could sabotage me now is getting drunk." I was in the middle of a 25 days sobriety streak. Next day what do I do? Buy something to drink. What the fuck did you say yesterday?
Yes, in their case maybe but with me those 2 family members were not my parents and I was too young to understand why they drank I just knew they drank too much and then one day one died then the other one. That's all I know. I can't say I know family members who directly told me they drink as a medication. I guess I started drinking because that's what I had around. What I was wondering regarding this is if it's "in the genes" so to speak, as my dad tells me I'm almost his dad in terms of personality traits. But I don't know, I don't know any scientific explanation.Yeah I don't know if it "officially" runs in families or if it's genetics or a combination of both. I generally think it's just a habitual familial phenomenon, where a son sees his father or mother "deal" with their problems with drinking or you fill in the blank, and thus, when they're older, they "fix" themselves the same way. I tend to think these "problems" might be more generational than the actually substances we use to "forget" them. Who knows, but to put a stop to it and say the buck stops here, is definitely the manly thing to do.