my journey, 25, male, PMO since ~11, 100% ED, done with this shit forever, it did enough harm

swimmer97

Well-Known Member
Day 200

Feels good to be 200 days free of porn and masturbation. At this point i can say that this shit is like smoking. Quitting it completely just makes life better. Its that simple. There is really absolutely ZERO benefit from this filth.

Even tho the first 1-2 month have been very hard with urges i have to admit that since then abstaining has been somewhat "easy" for me because i was/am in a flatline so no real sex drive anyways. I am little bit aroused when having sex with my gf but i still need medicine to stay hard.

The way harder battle for me personally is to "rewire" and to get sensitive again for normal vanilla things and "real" people.

My brain is formed from an early teen year on. I will most likely never be a "sex god", but thats absolutely okay. I just want to get to a decent level of being aroused by real women in real life.

Lets keep grinding Friends
 

swimmer97

Well-Known Member
Day 201

Gained so much weight again recent months. went from 78kg to 72kg in spring and now im back at 78kg again.

this has to stop.

lets grind again, earing healthy, doing intermediate fasting. today is day 1 of clean eating.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
I will most likely never be a "sex god", but thats absolutely okay. I just want to get to a decent level of being aroused by real women in real life.

Lets keep grinding Friends
This

This whole "sex god" thing is real hard for us porn addicts to understand. On one hand, it's a funny saying and there's nothing wrong with it in of itself (hell I'm a sex god in bed!;)) however, unfortunately, our perceptions of reality or so screwed up from porn, that we've learned that our fantasy is truth, and our real truth should be something to be ashamed of. But you're correct, just being happy to be with a real woman is the reward that truly matters, and something a computer could ever compete with.

Love you man, and congrats again on 200 days!

Best
 

swimmer97

Well-Known Member
This

This whole "sex god" thing is real hard for us porn addicts to understand. On one hand, it's a funny saying and there's nothing wrong with it in of itself (hell I'm a sex god in bed!;)) however, unfortunately, our perceptions of reality or so screwed up from porn, that we've learned that our fantasy is truth, and our real truth should be something to be ashamed of. But you're correct, just being happy to be with a real woman is the reward that truly matters, and something a computer could ever compete with.

Love you man, and congrats again on 200 days!

Best
Thank you brother. Just saw by accident a huge trigger on YouTube and my dopamin channels lit up, heart pumping. Thankfully, i was able to calm myself down. Im fine again. This comment helped as well. Jsut posted at the right time.

Coming to your point i absolutely agree, porn is telling us a lie. For me porn had such a big impact that i found arousal in the opposite, being an absolut loser that's why my specific fetish developed.

When in real life now i realize its completely different, i dont find that thought of being a loser arousing, i indeed have my Pied problems, but im far from being a bad lover, i feel manly, i am confident, i got compliments from my gf. It is insane how porn can differ from the reality. What it can do to our brain. I don't think about performing anymore, i want to enjoy it, funnily tjis way one actually "performs" the best in the end anyways. Not that it matters
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Let go of the performance drugs as soon as you feel confident. They have some nasty side-effects. Maybe some less risky herbal supplement would give you a boost until you're ready to fully walk your talk.
 

swimmer97

Well-Known Member
Day 202

Let go of the performance drugs as soon as you feel confident. They have some nasty side-effects. Maybe some less risky herbal supplement would give you a boost until you're ready to fully walk your talk.
i absolutely agree. to be honest i dont like using them. My body feels too warm, i get a red head, my nose closes and i feel numb. Feeling numb is also taking something away.

At least i am able to hold the erection, and i am able to climax when focusing on the feeling of the top of my penis (dont know the exact word in english).
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Yeah @swimmer97, you have to do what you have to do. I would agree with @Androg, but I can see why some would still use it. As for me, the reason I've never used them before was because I actually want to know and see that I'm getting better, and I've always felt it would hide my true progress if that makes sense. Yes, when it doesn't work, it's a lifeless corpus and that's a hard hit to the ego, but it some way, at least you know where you actually stand in your recovery. Furthermore, when he's happy and wanting to play, it makes you feel even better, because you know it's all you and nothing is helping him, which is a hell of a confidence boast.

Do what you think is best, and whatever you, don't over analyze it.

Best
 

swimmer97

Well-Known Member
Yeah @swimmer97, you have to do what you have to do. I would agree with @Androg, but I can see why some would still use it. As for me, the reason I've never used them before was because I actually want to know and see that I'm getting better, and I've always felt it would hide my true progress if that makes sense. Yes, when it doesn't work, it's a lifeless corpus and that's a hard hit to the ego, but it some way, at least you know where you actually stand in your recovery. Furthermore, when he's happy and wanting to play, it makes you feel even better, because you know it's all you and nothing is helping him, which is a hell of a confidence boast.

Do what you think is best, and whatever you, don't over analyze it.

Best
Thx brother, i fully understand your argumemnt and trsut me im 100% with you guys (@Blondie @Androg). If it was for me i would not even went to the doc and got these pills. Trust me. This is more for more gf. She is very cute, understanding and lovely but also a very emotional and somewhat inesecure person. She was suffering from the weeks of it not working out. She also blames herself and is very selfless. Even tho i explained to her that its not her its 100% me, many times. I see her every weekend. So im taking a pill once a week or maybe once in two weeks just to let off some pressure. Not for me, for her.

When not taking the pill i simply am not aroused enough at least at this point. And i cant let her wait for months. I know if she truly loves me she will do and support me and stuff. She most likely would do that but i also want to give her something back once in a while. Having an erection and penetrational sex is a very big reliev for her i recognized. With climaxing when having penetrational sex with her im also hoping to the wiring effect with orgasms. I have no idea if there is something on that.

Its complicated.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Makes perfect sense. As I said, I think you will continue to improve, so hopefully you'll "graduate" at some point.
 
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