my journey, 25, male, PMO since ~11, 100% ED, done with this shit forever, it did enough harm

Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
I love this @swimmer97, nice. His book titled the same is great and worth a read.

I totally understand about your girlfriend too. I think every situation is different. My Lady and I had been having sex before all this set in, so when the flatline came, she knew it wasn't about her, but even then she understandable felt sad.

Best man
 
swimmer97

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 204

The only thing at this point that causes real and stressful urges for me is the combination of feeling down + seeing an "extreme" trigger: for example a randomly recommendated video on youtube that is about my exact fetish.. Just happened recently

I immediatly close the window but still the impression is there and my brain pathways are activated and starting to "scream". This can lead to some serious urges which hunt me the whole day until i wake up next day. I really dont want to go through these.

In order to prevent this i need be really careful with stuff like youtube/netflix/twitch, especially when im feeling somwhat "low". Todays world is so sexualised, i have to live with the fact that at some points i always encounter "extreme triggers".

Other than these extreme scenarios i am thankfully at a very stable point.
 
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swimmer97

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 209

What i know for sure is that the dark number regarding people below 40 having issues due to porn is way higher than the society thinks. Heard from so many ppl that they have sexual dysfunctions in some way. One friend of mine has trouble climaxing (DE). Another of mine cant get an erection with condoms. What do they all have in common? we know.

Many dont know that porn is the cause. The problem of this topic is that its extremely shame impacted. I wonder, especially with todays teens having an internet device sooner and sooner and also more sexual material being present + no real barriers what of a flood will arise in the next years. I for sure think this will be a hot topic in at least 10+ years.
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
The industry is doing everything it can to suppress evidence of this phenomenon. There are even shill scientists saying, "There is NO evidence of it." Just like Big Tobacco did for years. This is a tragedy for young men...and their partners.

So, get the word out when you can.
 
swimmer97

swimmer97

Active Member
Androg said:
The industry is doing everything it can to suppress evidence of this phenomenon. There are even shill scientists saying, "There is NO evidence of it." Just like Big Tobacco did for years. This is a tragedy for young men...and their partners.

So, get the word out when you can.
Click to expand...
100% agree, saw a debate regarding porn in german television recently. All these "pro pron experts" where very very coincidentaly in some way dependent or connected on that industry. What that means: They put their own profit and interest over the health of young individuals. But thats just how some ppl are.
 
swimmer97

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 211

Just had the toughest night behind me in 211 days.

I made multiple mistakes that led to a night full of thoughts and urges. I was not able to sleep.

Thank got i was able to win the fight in the end (in terms of PM), but still, i was here and there fantasizing and that is really not good. Not looking at porn is doable for me but completely shutting down fantasy even tho i really dont want to fantasize for the rest of my life especially in hard moments is tough. My brain is looking for that high dopamine. Its indeed a fight in my head.

Mistakes i made that evening which lead to that night, where playing video games till too late in the night. Drinking caffeine too late and dont ask me why but i was shortly opening my dating app in browser. I have the app deleted on my mobile phone, i have no idea why i was opening it, curiosity was there even tho i have a gf.. I never counted dating apps as porn but it seems like since i deleted them for some months and now opened it again for short moment i feel like my brain is getting activated from it. Since i was shame touched only some seconds on that page + i was not going further or masturbating or anything i will not count this as a relapse.

Still lot to learn from this night.
 
T

Trisquel

Active Member
Blondie said:
Great conversation here. Yes the whole thing is down right disgusting. People should know what they're getting into at the very least.
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Completely agree, I wish there was more information around when I was a kid, so my parents could have put boundaries on me and protected me from that crap.... I think I started with internet P when I was 8... It's insane.

It is a pretty recent phenomenon, so I hope it gets better when people start realising what it is.
 
T

Trisquel

Active Member
Good luck swimmer, keep strong!
You are doing great, and you seem to be taking it as it is: a reminder of why you are committing to this fight!

Best whishes
 
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