Wabbajack's - ONE YEAR NO PMO and starting to masturbate consciously
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Wabbajack
Active Member
Thanks 
Yes, I do not feel free.
At first I strugged and had problems getting up, then it got better and better and I even gave her first orgasm ever. But only once I had this glorious, 100% erection which lasted. I almost broke her in half I'm quite well endowed...
But this was but one time. After and before that we had quite satisfying sex, but I was not 100%. And I struggle with condoms which I currently see as my goal. We tried them 2-3 times, I was barely hard and it was not too pleasant. And it slipped all the time. I even now consider using a cock ring to hold it in place...
Entire life I was with someone on pills. I want to be able to use rubber every time and to be able to have 100% boner EVERY time I'm about to have sex.
And this is still before me.
Yes, I do not feel free.
At first I strugged and had problems getting up, then it got better and better and I even gave her first orgasm ever. But only once I had this glorious, 100% erection which lasted. I almost broke her in half
I'm quite well endowed...But this was but one time. After and before that we had quite satisfying sex, but I was not 100%. And I struggle with condoms which I currently see as my goal. We tried them 2-3 times, I was barely hard and it was not too pleasant. And it slipped all the time. I even now consider using a cock ring to hold it in place...
Entire life I was with someone on pills. I want to be able to use rubber every time and to be able to have 100% boner EVERY time I'm about to have sex.
And this is still before me.
C
CrazyFrog357
Guest
Wabbajack said:Thanks
Yes, I do not feel free.
At first I strugged and had problems getting up, then it got better and better and I even gave her first orgasm ever. But only once I had this glorious, 100% erection which lasted. I almost broke her in half
But this was but one time. After and before that we had quite satisfying sex, but I was not 100%. And I struggle with condoms which I currently see as my goal. We tried them 2-3 times, I was barely hard and it was not too pleasant. And it slipped all the time. I even now consider using a cock ring to hold it in place...
Entire life I was with someone on pills. I want to be able to use rubber every time and to be able to have 100% boner EVERY time I'm about to have sex.
And this is still before me.
You'll make it
Don't doubt yourself - you'll be there eventually.
Wabbajack
Active Member
Interesting day.
My ONS didn't happen, slight chance it'll happen tomorrow. I don't know if I should go for it. Girl is hot, but dumb as f**k and it's pretty discouraging
But that's not the thing. The thing is today I felt... Not excited at all. No desire for sex or MO'ing. Like I was in a flatline, which would be strange this far in the reboot. And I felt slightly depressed about the break up situation, but I actively fight it all - the feelings, the love, the memories and so on.
I text a bit with the girl I went on a date on. Slightly curious what might happen but I want to take things slow. She's younger, she's obviously interested in me and I want to be fair. It's a bit too soon to start something serious.
Also my best friend comes back from the holiday this weekend. We're set to go on a "practice" walkabout around the city, getting to know girls, talking to them, flirting. Nothing much, just "practicing" self confidence.
He found this course called "Demonic Confidence" which has a set of trials or missions which are designed to learn the confidence while talking to women and how to not care what others think. For example: first lesson involves asking girls for time. One of the last is asking openly if they'd sleep with you. Not to get it, just to build up confidence.
I don't know if it's good for me, but might be interesting.
After all I found some of this confidence when I asked that girl out out of the blue It'll be fun!
My ONS didn't happen, slight chance it'll happen tomorrow. I don't know if I should go for it. Girl is hot, but dumb as f**k and it's pretty discouraging
But that's not the thing. The thing is today I felt... Not excited at all. No desire for sex or MO'ing. Like I was in a flatline, which would be strange this far in the reboot. And I felt slightly depressed about the break up situation, but I actively fight it all - the feelings, the love, the memories and so on.
I text a bit with the girl I went on a date on. Slightly curious what might happen but I want to take things slow. She's younger, she's obviously interested in me and I want to be fair. It's a bit too soon to start something serious.
Also my best friend comes back from the holiday this weekend. We're set to go on a "practice" walkabout around the city, getting to know girls, talking to them, flirting. Nothing much, just "practicing" self confidence.
He found this course called "Demonic Confidence" which has a set of trials or missions which are designed to learn the confidence while talking to women and how to not care what others think. For example: first lesson involves asking girls for time. One of the last is asking openly if they'd sleep with you. Not to get it, just to build up confidence.
I don't know if it's good for me, but might be interesting.
After all I found some of this confidence when I asked that girl out out of the blue
It'll be fun!
Wabbajack
Active Member
Had sex today
I went for some drink with my ex girlfriend (not the recent one, my first one, we are good buddies ), ended up in her place and we had sex once and I got a few blowjobs. No strings attached, we both needed to blow off some steam.
I was not exactly as hard as I'd like to be, but we managed. When I was given a bj, I was much harder than before penetration. It might be partly because she's a little overweight and I don't really consider her as very good looking. But it was nice to have sex again and she felt and looked very satisfied too I wonder what I could do with 100% erection...
I still want to improve. I am afraid of chaser effect and I noticed, that when I got back and Fb showed me a sex related article which I read, I was suddenly rock hard. I need to take a closer look at myself and reaction to triggers - before tonight I didn't react this much. Maybe it's because of recent sex.
I went for some drink with my ex girlfriend (not the recent one, my first one, we are good buddies
), ended up in her place and we had sex once and I got a few blowjobs. No strings attached, we both needed to blow off some steam.I was not exactly as hard as I'd like to be, but we managed. When I was given a bj, I was much harder than before penetration. It might be partly because she's a little overweight and I don't really consider her as very good looking. But it was nice to have sex again and she felt and looked very satisfied too
I wonder what I could do with 100% erection... I still want to improve. I am afraid of chaser effect and I noticed, that when I got back and Fb showed me a sex related article which I read, I was suddenly rock hard. I need to take a closer look at myself and reaction to triggers - before tonight I didn't react this much. Maybe it's because of recent sex.
C
CrazyFrog357
Guest
Good going man!
This made me laugh
Just watch yourself - you're doing so well you wouldn't want to f*ck up now
Wabbajack said:
This made me laugh
Just watch yourself - you're doing so well you wouldn't want to f*ck up now
Wabbajack
Active Member
To be honest I don't think it was because of that And damn, it's a little unfair for me to say so :/ It's just still my PIED alive and kicking
I am careful, especially for the chaser effect I am surprised that I got very... conscious about this reboot. I see patterns, I know how I react to triggers, what I can and cannot read or do.
And I have second date with that subway girl this Tuesday
And damn, it's a little unfair for me to say so :/ It's just still my PIED alive and kicking I am careful, especially for the chaser effect
I am surprised that I got very... conscious about this reboot. I see patterns, I know how I react to triggers, what I can and cannot read or do. And I have second date with that subway girl this Tuesday
BunnyBoy2015
Active Member
Hi Wabbajack,
Well done on all your progress so far! I enjoyed reading your journal and you write very well. I was wondering what you thought the downsides of MOing during a reboot? I have introduced this after the first month of my rebooot. Do you struggle with going hard mode?
Congratulations on the sex and good luck with the date!
Well done on all your progress so far! I enjoyed reading your journal and you write very well. I was wondering what you thought the downsides of MOing during a reboot? I have introduced this after the first month of my rebooot. Do you struggle with going hard mode?
Congratulations on the sex and good luck with the date!
Wabbajack
Active Member
Hey and thanks for kind words
My hard mode was over with my Saturday sex, so I guess it was going well xD But I did not feel it was very hard for me to not MO. I had moments when I was crazy horny, but I got over them, focused on something else and eventually they passed. And it was much more a thirst for the real thing than for MO or PMO. I really feel pretty much free from porn.
But I must say I miss the rewiring, the sexual kind of one. I feel like I'm missing some part of the reboot this way. I don't think I am definitely right or that I should jump into any relationship that I come across. It's just I feel it'd be easier if I had someone to rewire with.
And as for MO'ing during reboot I would not recommend it. I feel that MO and PMO are very close. Even if you do it without fantasies, they have a way of sneaking into your thoughts and poisoning them, even if only for a split second.I also think that both MO and PMO are very close in terms of being an artificial way of pleasing oneself and it is a bad thing for the whole reboot. Also I think that my - our - addict's brain could easily lead me to PMO from just MO'ing just because they were (or still are) strongly connected.
I think we need to rewire to the real girl, real sex and real feelings instead of artificial ones. And regular MO is also an artificial sexual pleasure.
It maybe healthy for healthy people, but not for addicts and ED'ers like us.
We need to go all the way, no half-measures.
My hard mode was over with my Saturday sex, so I guess it was going well xD But I did not feel it was very hard for me to not MO. I had moments when I was crazy horny, but I got over them, focused on something else and eventually they passed. And it was much more a thirst for the real thing than for MO or PMO. I really feel pretty much free from porn.
But I must say I miss the rewiring, the sexual kind of one. I feel like I'm missing some part of the reboot this way. I don't think I am definitely right or that I should jump into any relationship that I come across. It's just I feel it'd be easier if I had someone to rewire with.
And as for MO'ing during reboot I would not recommend it. I feel that MO and PMO are very close. Even if you do it without fantasies, they have a way of sneaking into your thoughts and poisoning them, even if only for a split second.I also think that both MO and PMO are very close in terms of being an artificial way of pleasing oneself and it is a bad thing for the whole reboot. Also I think that my - our - addict's brain could easily lead me to PMO from just MO'ing just because they were (or still are) strongly connected.
I think we need to rewire to the real girl, real sex and real feelings instead of artificial ones. And regular MO is also an artificial sexual pleasure.
It maybe healthy for healthy people, but not for addicts and ED'ers like us.
We need to go all the way, no half-measures.
Wabbajack
Active Member
110 days Ten more and I'll hit 4 months!
Lately everything was very good My date went pretty well, we talked, walked, laughed and almost bathed in the city fountain Then, during the seance in a summer cinema (outdoors, sunbeds etc.) we cuddled a bit - cold air, the heat of the body, you know the story
When she was close for the first time, I felt pretty nice movement down there, I even had to hide it a bit Then it went away. During and after the movie I had plenty of chances to kiss her but decided not to go this way. We cuddled and held hands, but that's all. I feel I shouldn't rush things and I still do not feel ready for a relation. Maybe I won't be for quite a long time. I need to think about what I should do as I really do not want her to be hurt.
Heh, I feel like what I need are 2-3 girls that are friends with benefits with me.
But some things are definitely brighter I made few big steps forward in dealing with the breakup. I don't feel sad or depressed when I come across any memory or song or an old text. I used to have instant watery eyes, now not even a grin. Of course it doesn't mean I'm over it, but it's a milestone for me.
I work over myself, mentally. I'm currently reading a book called "ME" and it's about getting rid of negative emotions from one's life, getting in control of reactions, of emotions like rage, sadness etc. That these feelings are felt because I DECIDED to feel them. And that I can DECIDE NOT TO. And damn, it works. I sometimes talk loudly to myself in the car, for example asking myself why I keep thinking about some thing about my ex. And I can convince myself that it won't do any good
I feel I'm on the right track.
Tomorrow I meet my friend, the one that suggested the program about confidence with women. It's gonna be and interesting evening I guess
Cheers, everybody! We all can win with ourselves!
Ten more and I'll hit 4 months!Lately everything was very good
My date went pretty well, we talked, walked, laughed and almost bathed in the city fountain Then, during the seance in a summer cinema (outdoors, sunbeds etc.) we cuddled a bit - cold air, the heat of the body, you know the story When she was close for the first time, I felt pretty nice movement down there, I even had to hide it a bit
Then it went away. During and after the movie I had plenty of chances to kiss her but decided not to go this way. We cuddled and held hands, but that's all. I feel I shouldn't rush things and I still do not feel ready for a relation. Maybe I won't be for quite a long time. I need to think about what I should do as I really do not want her to be hurt. Heh, I feel like what I need are 2-3 girls that are friends with benefits with me.
But some things are definitely brighter
I made few big steps forward in dealing with the breakup. I don't feel sad or depressed when I come across any memory or song or an old text. I used to have instant watery eyes, now not even a grin. Of course it doesn't mean I'm over it, but it's a milestone for me. I work over myself, mentally. I'm currently reading a book called "ME" and it's about getting rid of negative emotions from one's life, getting in control of reactions, of emotions like rage, sadness etc. That these feelings are felt because I DECIDED to feel them. And that I can DECIDE NOT TO. And damn, it works. I sometimes talk loudly to myself in the car, for example asking myself why I keep thinking about some thing about my ex. And I can convince myself that it won't do any good
I feel I'm on the right track.
Tomorrow I meet my friend, the one that suggested the program about confidence with women. It's gonna be and interesting evening I guess
Cheers, everybody! We all can win with ourselves!
Wabbajack
Active Member
I went for a beer with my friend. It was nice to spill my guts about all this shit I've been through lately. We talked about my dealing with the break up, about women, talking to them, about confidence and all that stuff. We were going to go "out there" together, but I was constantly in relationships so now's the time to try it out
For start we made a bet that whoever gets a girl's number first, gets a beer. Or at least try and fail three times. We have time till sunday. Just a little competition to spice things up And who knows what will come out of this?
For start we made a bet that whoever gets a girl's number first, gets a beer. Or at least try and fail three times. We have time till sunday. Just a little competition to spice things up
And who knows what will come out of this?
Wabbajack
Active Member
Day one, no number to a new girl. Two more days to try
I was talking a bit with my ex girlfriend with which I had sex a few days ago. We're much more open now, talking about sex-related stuff. I even told her details about my PIED problem, as she was the one with which I had this problem for the first time ever.
She told me not to worry because she felt great We talked a bit about what happened, what she liked and so on. I asked if she'd like to repeat it sometimes and she enthusiastically agreed It seems that I made a friend with benefits It's nice, as I felt that this is the time when rewiring for a girl is pretty important, as I feel I overcame my porn addiction pretty well. Still I keep an eye on it of course
We were talking for a while about what we'd like to do when we meet in two weeks and I mean "doing" sexual stuff. I was pretty turned on, had mild (let's say 50-60% wood) and felt a freaking need to let loose, to orgasm and to stop this tension. But I overcame this.
WARNING, POSSIBLE TRIGGER!!!
My ex is a bit bi-curious and when we had a beer a few days before she mentioned that she was invited for a threesome with some girl from the seashore. And that they look for a guy. Tonight I jokingly (ok, semi-jokingly) asked if I'm an option and she... agreed Of course this is a song of the future and I do not know if it'll happen. But it's nice to receive such offer. Of course I told her that I need to overcome my PIED first and she said that she has to "test her" herself first. If it happens, I want to perform right I once heard a joke: "Threesome? No, thanks. If I ever felt the need to dissapoint two people at once, I'd have dinner with my parents" xD
END OF TRIGGER!!!
I probably will have a third date soon and I'm a bit worried. I don't want a relationship, but I also do not want this girl out of my life. I'll have to be honest with her about the recent break up and all the doubts soon. After third of fourth date I suppose. And I will see what will happen
Cheers guys! Thanks for being here!
I was talking a bit with my ex girlfriend with which I had sex a few days ago. We're much more open now, talking about sex-related stuff. I even told her details about my PIED problem, as she was the one with which I had this problem for the first time ever.
She told me not to worry because she felt great
We talked a bit about what happened, what she liked and so on. I asked if she'd like to repeat it sometimes and she enthusiastically agreed It seems that I made a friend with benefits It's nice, as I felt that this is the time when rewiring for a girl is pretty important, as I feel I overcame my porn addiction pretty well. Still I keep an eye on it of course We were talking for a while about what we'd like to do when we meet in two weeks and I mean "doing" sexual stuff. I was pretty turned on, had mild (let's say 50-60% wood) and felt a freaking need to let loose, to orgasm and to stop this tension. But I overcame this.
WARNING, POSSIBLE TRIGGER!!!
My ex is a bit bi-curious and when we had a beer a few days before she mentioned that she was invited for a threesome with some girl from the seashore. And that they look for a guy. Tonight I jokingly (ok, semi-jokingly) asked if I'm an option and she... agreed
Of course this is a song of the future and I do not know if it'll happen. But it's nice to receive such offer. Of course I told her that I need to overcome my PIED first and she said that she has to "test her" herself first. If it happens, I want to perform right I once heard a joke: "Threesome? No, thanks. If I ever felt the need to dissapoint two people at once, I'd have dinner with my parents" xDEND OF TRIGGER!!!
I probably will have a third date soon and I'm a bit worried. I don't want a relationship, but I also do not want this girl out of my life. I'll have to be honest with her about the recent break up and all the doubts soon. After third of fourth date I suppose. And I will see what will happen
Cheers guys! Thanks for being here!
Wabbajack
Active Member
So... I MO'd. It was a concious decision, absolutely no fantasy or triggers involved. I will not count it as a relapse, because it was concious and I'm gonna use it as an experiment, like a barometer. For now, I feel pretty good, the tension from talking with my ex aboust sex is gone and I feel much more fresh. I do not feel guilty. Ok, maybe a little but it's mostly because MO was gone for so long that I feel like I betray my reboot a bit xD
But I wanted to try it, although I am anxious. But I'm gonna watch myself closely now and see the reaction I experience. The chaser effect. The changes to morning wood. I still do not want to introduce MO again into my life on regular basis - my opinion from a few post above still stands - but I wanted to try it out.
Also being so tense and this deep into the reboot was hard and, I suddenly felt, it was unnecessary. I may be mistaken, but for now I feel good. As I told you before, I feel porn free. This doesn't mean I don't fantasize, but ONLY about women I know and have at least a chance for a hook up. And this time there was not even a slight splinter of fantasy.
And if I come to conclusion that it was a mistake, than I'll be back into hard mode. If not - we'll see. I definitely will not start fapping on the regular basis.
Because of this I decided to alter my counter a bit. It does not include PMO or MO anymore, but simply giving in to my addiction.
The idea was to try out the "release" of MO in situations like before actual sex. In the past I used to perform much better if I MO'd before the sex and penetration was the second orgasm. I was much stiffer and lasted longer. It's like the chaser effect was a boost for real sex itself. Today I wanted to test it and see if it'd be a good idea to MO before next sex with my ex (or current FF, if you like) which probably will be in two weeks.
Also no energy drain or being tired like I felt when I had my accidental orgasm. Maybe because this one was my decision. I felt very, very guilty after that accidental O, like I failed. This time I do not.
We'll see what good (or bad ;P) will come out of this.
Good night!
But I wanted to try it, although I am anxious. But I'm gonna watch myself closely now and see the reaction I experience. The chaser effect. The changes to morning wood. I still do not want to introduce MO again into my life on regular basis - my opinion from a few post above still stands - but I wanted to try it out.
Also being so tense and this deep into the reboot was hard and, I suddenly felt, it was unnecessary. I may be mistaken, but for now I feel good. As I told you before, I feel porn free. This doesn't mean I don't fantasize, but ONLY about women I know and have at least a chance for a hook up. And this time there was not even a slight splinter of fantasy.
And if I come to conclusion that it was a mistake, than I'll be back into hard mode. If not - we'll see. I definitely will not start fapping on the regular basis.
Because of this I decided to alter my counter a bit. It does not include PMO or MO anymore, but simply giving in to my addiction.
The idea was to try out the "release" of MO in situations like before actual sex. In the past I used to perform much better if I MO'd before the sex and penetration was the second orgasm. I was much stiffer and lasted longer. It's like the chaser effect was a boost for real sex itself. Today I wanted to test it and see if it'd be a good idea to MO before next sex with my ex (or current FF, if you like) which probably will be in two weeks.
Also no energy drain or being tired like I felt when I had my accidental orgasm. Maybe because this one was my decision. I felt very, very guilty after that accidental O, like I failed. This time I do not.
We'll see what good (or bad ;P) will come out of this.
Good night!
AmbitiousSimon
Member
Keep beasting!
Wabbajack
Active Member
Thanks!
I just had an interesting evening I met with my friend and we hit the city and talked to girls for the sake of boosting our self-confidence and courage to talk to random pretty women in random situations We try to follow the footsteps of PUA's.
We started with asking girls for time. Next step was asking them if they'd kiss a guy on the first date Then it got a little more hardcore: "Hey, I'm bra shopping for a friend and don't know s**t about sizes. Could you tell me yours so I could compare?" We ended the night with complimenting random girls - my favourite part of the evening, as I like to bring smile onto girls lips
We still are at the first steps, but in time we will be the masters of confidence and picking up
PS. I know it sounds a bit shallow etc. but to be honest I don't see myself in a relationship for a while. And I'd like to try something new, as I bounced in an out of relationships for the past five years.
PPS. None of us got the number (or even asked for one) so our bet is a draw
Cheers!
Wabba
I just had an interesting evening
I met with my friend and we hit the city and talked to girls for the sake of boosting our self-confidence and courage to talk to random pretty women in random situations We try to follow the footsteps of PUA's.We started with asking girls for time. Next step was asking them if they'd kiss a guy on the first date
Then it got a little more hardcore: "Hey, I'm bra shopping for a friend and don't know s**t about sizes. Could you tell me yours so I could compare?" We ended the night with complimenting random girls - my favourite part of the evening, as I like to bring smile onto girls lips We still are at the first steps, but in time we will be the masters of confidence and picking up
PS. I know it sounds a bit shallow etc. but to be honest I don't see myself in a relationship for a while. And I'd like to try something new, as I bounced in an out of relationships for the past five years.
PPS. None of us got the number (or even asked for one) so our bet is a draw
Cheers!
Wabba
AmbitiousSimon
Member
Sounds awesome I'm glad you did that
I'm glad you did that
Wabbajack
Active Member
Interesting time I had these last few days.
First of all a bit of a depression comeback because of the break up. As I told you we were set for a trip that was my (and then ours) lifelong dream. We booked the tickets and when she ended things, she said she'd rebook hers for a different date. Her offer, it's important for the next part.
My brother asked her about it and if, maybe, she'd like to rebook her ticket for him. She did not want to, which is understandable. She said she'd go with the tickets SHE (we in fact) bought, found and paid for. Well, she did because we used her laptop. Also the text (to my brother) included a lovely message which I'm going to quote: "Well, I'm already a bitch, I can as well be a bitch till the end."
Tadaaa, the love of my life
I thought about going on my own or booking new tickets for my brother. But to be honest I don't feel like beginning and ending my dream trip with the sight of my ex, my love, laughing and smiling when I'm not by her side.
It was my dream, than it was ours. Now it isn't even mine anymore. I feel robbed of a dream :/
I try to see positive, that it was not my time for this dream and I will fulfill it someday I thought that maybe I could use the money for a motorcycle driving license and go t Ireland for a bike trip, as I hoped one day. I just don't know what to do with all of this.
I try to stay positive. But it's hard.
On the other hand my third date with the subway girl went... interesting. We watched a movie in a summer cinema, pretty interesting, but quite a lot of sex on screen. I was not amused by it in any way, that alone is interesting and a good sign. We cuddled a bit.
Then we walked along the river shore, watched the stars and I felt the urge to kiss her. I did it, despite my doubts. I went pretty wild from there, we kissed and caressed for an hour and a ahalf and we even got to second base.
I am pretty worried, when we kissed I didn't have a boner more than 40-50% and I was not max hard then she gave me a handy. But it was pretty nice feeling
I worry about it and I feel like I need to express some things to her. Like the recent break up and the fact that I don't see myself in a relationship for quite a while now. I don't want her to misunderstand things, which she already may have done.
First of all a bit of a depression comeback because of the break up. As I told you we were set for a trip that was my (and then ours) lifelong dream. We booked the tickets and when she ended things, she said she'd rebook hers for a different date. Her offer, it's important for the next part.
My brother asked her about it and if, maybe, she'd like to rebook her ticket for him. She did not want to, which is understandable. She said she'd go with the tickets SHE (we in fact) bought, found and paid for. Well, she did because we used her laptop. Also the text (to my brother) included a lovely message which I'm going to quote: "Well, I'm already a bitch, I can as well be a bitch till the end."
Tadaaa, the love of my life
I thought about going on my own or booking new tickets for my brother. But to be honest I don't feel like beginning and ending my dream trip with the sight of my ex, my love, laughing and smiling when I'm not by her side.
It was my dream, than it was ours. Now it isn't even mine anymore. I feel robbed of a dream :/
I try to see positive, that it was not my time for this dream and I will fulfill it someday
I thought that maybe I could use the money for a motorcycle driving license and go t Ireland for a bike trip, as I hoped one day. I just don't know what to do with all of this. I try to stay positive. But it's hard.
On the other hand my third date with the subway girl went... interesting. We watched a movie in a summer cinema, pretty interesting, but quite a lot of sex on screen. I was not amused by it in any way, that alone is interesting and a good sign. We cuddled a bit.
Then we walked along the river shore, watched the stars and I felt the urge to kiss her. I did it, despite my doubts. I went pretty wild from there, we kissed and caressed for an hour and a ahalf and we even got to second base.
I am pretty worried, when we kissed I didn't have a boner more than 40-50% and I was not max hard then she gave me a handy. But it was pretty nice feeling
I worry about it and I feel like I need to express some things to her. Like the recent break up and the fact that I don't see myself in a relationship for quite a while now. I don't want her to misunderstand things, which she already may have done.
ArtVandelay
Member
Good work mate on the recovery. I'm going to try and find some time to read your entire thread as soon as I can because I have noticed a few similar words spring out - same age, depression, breakup with "love of my life", worrying, seeing a few girls at once, anxious etc.
One question I'll ask now as I haven't the time to read up and I apologize if that seems selfish, but I will read it all when I have time. How much better is it being off the porn for so long? I don't think you should be worried about MO every now and then after that period of time if it's not PMO.
It's funny, I go through phases of seeing a few girls. At one stage it was 5 at once and all involving regular sex, and then I'd go 3-4 months without sex. One thing remained constant though was the PMO, and the fantasizing and not being as aroused by "regular" sex as I had been, it had to be kind of more porn orientated. Same positions, anal, facials, etc. All stuff I'd seen regularly.
Desensitization
Didn't mean to turn this in to about me as it's your journal, just thought I'd share some thoughts. Cheers
One question I'll ask now as I haven't the time to read up and I apologize if that seems selfish, but I will read it all when I have time. How much better is it being off the porn for so long? I don't think you should be worried about MO every now and then after that period of time if it's not PMO.
It's funny, I go through phases of seeing a few girls. At one stage it was 5 at once and all involving regular sex, and then I'd go 3-4 months without sex. One thing remained constant though was the PMO, and the fantasizing and not being as aroused by "regular" sex as I had been, it had to be kind of more porn orientated. Same positions, anal, facials, etc. All stuff I'd seen regularly.
Desensitization
Didn't mean to turn this in to about me as it's your journal, just thought I'd share some thoughts. Cheers
M
mtaha2015
Guest
staying positive is hard in life.
with all that bullshit and crap around us. so much negativity, it is really hard to stay positive.
I know what you are saying.
Depression on other hand, makes it more terrible.
but try to implement, brainwash technique.
Every one, commit to yourself, I will stay positive in all circumstances.
face the world boldly and find solutions to your problems.
with all that bullshit and crap around us. so much negativity, it is really hard to stay positive.
I know what you are saying.
Depression on other hand, makes it more terrible.
but try to implement, brainwash technique.
Every one, commit to yourself, I will stay positive in all circumstances.
face the world boldly and find solutions to your problems.