Second try

[dwenjang1218]

Day 26 no P (Day 9 no PMO):

Last night and today was no sweat.
It was actually too easy.
I don't think I got a big morning wood, I can't remember.
I had 0 urges today, even after looking at half-naked girls and cleavages on the net by accident.
I didn't even try to avoid them. I just took a good look, said "Dayuuum" in my mind, then moved on.
No fantasies creeped up in the process.
I'm not getting any mood swings or depression, so it doesn't look like a classic flat-line.

This is... pretty awesome I guess lol.
I still gotta watch out for dreams, though.
Past experiences has taught me sexual dreams can come out of nowhere and assassinate me.

 

[robust]

I didn't even try to avoid them. I just took a good look, said "Dayuuum" in my mind, then moved on.

Just like me. Although I don't browse for it; sometimes I see pictures by chance and accident. Good feeling to be able to do this, isn't it?

 

[dwenjang1218]

Day 27 no P (Day 10 no PMO):

Last night was a major bitch again.
I was lucid dreaming all throughout the night until I woke up at 4, all the while with a fully erect penis.
It took every piece of my soul to restrain myself from jerking off.
The fantasies kept entering my head and I felt a load of pre-cum on my boxers soon after I woke up.
I really wish I could have a decent wet dream, but it's not coming for some reason.
It's getting pretty frustrating.

The good news is that there's only one day left to complete my second nofap mini-quest,
and I almost reached a month of no-porn.
As for continuing nofap, I'm starting to have doubts..
Will see how it goes tonight. I hope I can fall asleep.

 

[Healingshame]

well the insomnia/poor sleep quality of sleep is something I can relate to. I use to closely track the quality of my sleep (firstly with my phone,lately with fitbit) and it is a mess. Nothing you can do about it, just hope that our body will readjust finally.

 

[robust]

I was lucid dreaming all throughout the night until I woke up at 4, all the while with a fully erect penis.
It took every piece of my soul to restrain myself from jerking off.
The fantasies kept entering my head and I felt a load of pre-cum on my boxers soon after I woke up.
I really wish I could have a decent wet dream, but it's not coming for some reason.

Muhahahahahahaahah.. Suffer, slave!

 

[fcjl8]

VforVictory,

Are you exercising? I just wonder if a good combo of cardio and or lifting could both help your insomnia and all that energy that is showing up as desire during the night?

Glad you are making it through these challenges! You are a strong man!

 

[dwenjang1218]

Are you exercising? I just wonder if a good combo of cardio and or lifting could both help your insomnia and all that energy that is showing up as desire during the night?

Thanks fcjl8!
I lift on a regular basis, but not everyday.
I think it definitely helps with sleep, but not by much  :'(
Maybe I should cardio every other day and see how that works.
Thanks for the advice.

well the insomnia/poor sleep quality of sleep is something I can relate to. I use to closely track the quality of my sleep (firstly with my phone,lately with fitbit) and it is a mess. Nothing you can do about it, just hope that our body will readjust finally.

Yeah, it won't be long until I get my sleep back! 10 more days max!

Muhahahahahahaahah.. Suffer, slave!

AAARRGG so jealous that you already recovered from insomnia!!
Soon man, soooooonnnnn....

 

[DarthVader]

I see why you were a bit miffed that I had a wet dream after 2 days!!!!!

I had no idea you were struggling with sleep. I think I'm going through that stage right now. I'm intrigued to see how long it lasts with you (hopefully it stops).

 

[dwenjang1218]

Thanks Darth! Seems like my insomnia appears and disappears whenever the heck it wants.
It's definitely not a linear pattern.

Day 29 no P (Day 12 no PMO):

I have like 10 hours left until my original goal of 1 month no porn.
I'm going to start a new one with no PMO.. time to move up a level.

Slept well enough on both nights.

2 nights ago, I chose to get a shut-eye after eating dinner (eating helps me sleep),
woke up in the middle of the night, surfed internet until 6 o'clock, went to bed again.
Using this method, I encountered significantly less cravings.

Last night, I went drinking with my friend and came back home, had no problem sleeping.
It's kinda weird how when I'm drunk, I don't get cravings.
I might use this technique again as a last resort when cravings get tough lol.

I've regained my indifferent view towards women.
Indifferent is not the right word; just non-sexual (last time I described my condition as unaroused)
Girls still look attractive to me, but it's starting to lose... fire.
Can't determine whether this is a good thing or not.

 

[demon932]

Awesome journal man, it really sounds crazy that people are able to get to day 29+... I am also suffering from strange insomnia which comes and goes as it wants.

I also had that no-attraction-to-girls on my worst days. It was just terrible. It hasn't healed yet, but it's on its way. It's better to concentrate on other things than that, don't push it.

Good luck with that 10 hours!

 

[dwenjang1218]

Awesome journal man, it really sounds crazy that people are able to get to day 29+... I am also suffering from strange insomnia which comes and goes as it wants.

I also had that no-attraction-to-girls on my worst days. It was just terrible. It hasn't healed yet, but it's on its way. It's better to concentrate on other things than that, don't push it.

Good luck with that 10 hours!

Thanks demon,
I think it's the contrast of my views on girls during different stages in reboot that really surprised me.
During the first and second week of no porn I was horny and couldn't stop myself from looking at girls,
but now I'm so different from how I was back then.
Guess it's a symptom of flat-line.

 

[dwenjang1218]

Finished 30 days of no P, so I updated my counter. 
From now on I will count no PMO.
The goal right now is one month (till end of April),
but I'm thinking it will take 3~4 months to fully recover.

 

[DarthVader]

You're doing great so far my friend.

I imagine the 30 days of no porn has already contributed to the healing process significantly. Onwards and upwards.

 

[robust]

Finished 30 days of no P, so I updated my counter. 
From now on I will count no PMO.
The goal right now is one month (till end of April),
but I'm thinking it will take 3~4 months as long as it takes to fully recover.

Congrats, dude. A big milestone. Don't rest. Get another one. I'll be with you. 8)

 

[xc43]

30 days. A whole month. That is quite a feat. Good luck with your 30 days of No PMO!

 

[shake19]

All right VforVictory I will tell you something.
At the beginning of your being on this forum I thought "Oh, just another regular guy being addicted in this place".
Then I saw you are Korean & "All right, maybe not so random - it's a first guy I've ever "met" from Korea. But yeah, still kind of regular guy (with yellow-face avatar)."

But by this post you hit the jackpot for me!

yourbrainonporn is a great site that has all the info you need
but I'll get you started by teaching you what I can about desensitization,
which is one of the key factors that gets you addicted to porn.

Right now your brain is heavily desensitized.
This means that your brain is too used to porn, which is highly stimulating,
that it fails to recognize real sex, which is relatively less stimulating.
It's like your brain is tricked into thinking real sex isn't "sex".

Imagine a scale of one to ten measuring the stimulation (sexual or not) of anything you come across in your life.

Normal porn is like 10. Hardcore bondage teenage taboo S&M bukkake porn is like 15.
(Note that the above levels are very unnatural)
real life sex is like 7.
Playing sports ~5
non-sexual Interaction with woman ~5.
Watching movie ~4
Listening to music ~3
Cooking ~2
and so on.

***the numbers are completely arbitrary and made up. Just know that porn is the most stimulating of them all.

For guys that watch porn everyday, the stimulation level is hitting above 10 on a regular basis.
Once the brain gets used to that stimulation level,
any activity below that level will feel much less exciting (desensitization).

For guys that go through reboot and not watch porn or masturbate at all,
Sex is the most stimulating thing they can get their hands on. It will feel like a 10.
In fact, every other activity on the list will have moved up a few levels accordingly.
So for these guys, simple everyday activity like listening to music will get them somewhat excited.

FYI, this phenomenon is not limited to porn. Any kind of addiction is a result of desensitization.

So to answer your question:

1. If you dont fantasize about sex and dont get erection wont your mind just eliminate sex  or erection from it forever?
      - No, if your brain is resensitized, you will get a 100 erections on your way to the grocery store and back if you want.

2. I dont get any morning wood or spontaneous erections. i want to know is it normal?
      - It is definitely not normal. It is probably an indication that you are heavily addicted to porn.


I hope the others will read over what I wrote and correct me if I'm wrong,
cuz I'm also new to this stuff and i'm not 100% sure.

From now I'll remember you as a REAL conscious guy with a great attitude and kind of special gift of sharing the knowledge.
Your words give a strength (at least for me), so I recommend you to do some victory dance.

Peace.

 

[dwenjang1218]

Thanks for your kind words guys!!
My internet was down for a while and I couldn't respond to them!
I'll definitely try my hardest for the rest of the journey!

Thanks shake19,
Teaching is my favourite method of learning and remembering
And this yellow-face avatar shall now activate victory dance-

 

[dwenjang1218]

Day 13 no PMO:

INTERNET MALFUNCTIONING!!
Man this has got to be one of the most difficult things to get used to.
On a normal day I get 2 bars of Wifi, but now I have to get by with 1 bar, if lucky (with disconnection every 5 min).
I took this chance to post my journal.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand.
I'm pretty sure I'm going into flat-line.
Hardness is not the same anymore; still 60% on average, but never 100%.
Sleep is still eluding me. I got 4 hours today (although no cravings, fortunately).
Mood is... cranky, due to internet failure.

Flat-lining means I'm going through the right path,
so I'm not worried at all. Pretty excited, rather.
Hope you guys have a fantastic day!
(also hope internet doesn't fail me when I click post  )

 

[Healingshame]

I am impressed by your attitude. For me embracing flatline feels like alien thing to do. Especially after sleepless night. Anyway nice to hear that you are going strong. GL!!

 

[dwenjang1218]

I am impressed by your attitude. For me embracing flatline feels like alien thing to do. Especially after sleepless night. Anyway nice to hear that you are going strong. GL!!

Thanks Healingshame. Fortunately, I can afford to sleep and wake up whenever I want to nowadays,
which is significantly helping me keep my sanity.
I chose a really good timing