Yes I Can!


Respected Member
Hi folks,

Last night I read the following link. I felt like it held a great deal of wisdom regarding this reboot process.[/url]

A couple of the points were as follows. Please forgive the paraphrasing of this link...
  • Don't deall with the P, put your energy in being a new you.
  • Don't dwell on your counter, dwell on your progress. Use of a spreadsheet may give a better picture. If one has cut down on PMO then that's success! If you relapse, its not "start over." Its just part of the process. Realize you want to change and get back to it. A counter may make you feel like you are starting all over again
  • Post positive, don't give this thing the power of a negative post. Anything that includes shame gives power to PMO, (I want to make sure to differentiate between shame and guilt. Shame is "I'm stupid. I have relapsed." Guilt is "I relapsed. I don't feel good about it but it doesn't make me any less of a person.)

Because of this link, I am going to change the way I approach the reboot process. I will be removing my current counters and replace it with a counter measuring the time from my last PMO. This was my main goal, one in which I have had success.

I will continue to work on MO and P subs but even with "slips" I have not returned to PMO.

To get a better sense on the progress, I will set up a spreadsheet on my MO slips, I will also provide access to this spreadsheet through RN.

I am in this for the long haul; the rest of my life.  It sounds like a spreadsheet will give me a more effective visual to follow my progress. This may take a bit of time to set up but will work on it and get it set up as soon as I can.

I may also reduce the time I am spending on RN. I still want to be here as this site is a true lifesaver, a place to understand this crazy addiction to porn. The thing I don't want to do is be obsessed with process. This isn't to say that it will be easy but is is worth it.

Your love and support for me during this process is important as I continue to redirect my life. May we continue to move forward together while encouraging others as we struggle with this addiction.

Peace brothers and sisters.


Hi Bob,

You are doing well man, keep going with it.

Shame is a big piece, but you're 100% right. Don't dredge up shame in your posts. That was the past, you drew a line in the sand and it's done. No point beating yourself with shame about what happened in the past. We are not our addictions, the addiction was a coping tool that became a habitual way of managing our emotions........but we are not our addictions. The addiction is separate to who we are and who we want to be and we need to acknowledge that. Once we have admitted that we have an addiction, it's then done, we need to separate the addiction from our identity. This is why I don't agree with the AA way of dealing with addictions........we are not powerless over our addictions, we were not born as PMO addicts, therefore, we can learn to manage our lives without the addiction.


hi bob.......your story is remarkably similar to mine.THE only difference being is that this is my first attempt at quitting.i am in week 2 and it is a bitch...


Hey Bob,

I finally read through your entire journal.  Thank you for posting the link to:

It is a lengthy read, but well worth it.  Peace brother.

Onward and Upward!


Respected Member
Dear Free, Haden, and Pied,

Thank you for your comments.

I continue along. Sometimes up. Other times a bit down. It sure helps to feel the support of others. I had no success at this process before I came upon RN. Felt it was impossible to change the course of this addiction. Now I know that isn't true. Takes work but it is possible. Truly for me, it has been possible with the help of RN and the friends I have made.

I continue to work on being the new me. It can be challenging but there is so much to be gained from reaching this goal. It is a life goal for me. I feel the need to accomplish great things, to make a difference in other peoples lives, to leave the world a better place because I was here. Strangely, these goals don't have to be noticed. They just have to exist. If they constitute being a better father, husband, or  colleague, so be it.

I have not found the path easy; just something I must strive follow. Not easy but worth it.

Peace to you brothers and sisters.


Respected Member
Updating my journal to let folks know I am still in the race.

PMO continues to be gone from my life.

I continue to work with the soft side of P. My chart shows my progress but it also provides me a reminder of where I want to be, where I want to go.

I was really depressed the past few days Many things required at work seem overwhelming and impossible to manage, coordinate, organize. Always been a struggle for me but with increased responsibilities come greater challenges.


Respected Member
Still here folks. Still moving forward.

Work is crazy so I haven't had the time to be online.

Thanks for asking.


Respected Member
OK folks, whether you know it or not, you continue to inspire me.

I wasn't going to post for a while but I think it is now time. Honesty is important and I feel like we are all in this together. I even started to post on FF and NGU's journals but I realized I respect and follow so many. I owed it to all of you. You need to know what has happened.

I relapsed over the weekend. Big time.

I had made it to 160 days. However the number of days is irrelevant . My goal is a new life, a new direction; not just a number of days abstinent.

About 3 weeks ago I started with P subs. Just wanted to take a quick peek. That began a slow slide down the slope. The decent occurred a little bit at a time. But, that doesn't matter. Slow or fast, the direction of the slide is still down. The bottom isn't where I wanted to be but I eventually hit it hard.

Plus side? I haven't beat my self up. Frustrated, I still understand that what I have accomplished to this point is amazing. A year ago I would not have believed I could actually go without PORN for a week; even two days. PMO had been a part of my life for so long, so many years. I have made impressive progress. and this progress would not have been possible without your support.

Now I am back on my goal. Furthermore, I better understand my triggers. Rereading journals (mine as well as others) allowed me to understand where I wanted to be, what I professed. Now I begin again.

I don't see myself at the bottom starting up. I'm actually back on top with a new commitment. The slope is still present. The slope is even steeper. Slides down will be harder to stop. The goal is to make sure I never start to slide, It must never occur. As I see it, slope never goes away. The objective is to learn how to stay away from the edge and prevent any future stumbles. The only way to decrease the pitch of that slope is a new life. Walking the walk that mirrors my commitment. Currently I don't feel a pull to the slope. I know it is present. In the future, it will pull me when my confidence waivers. However, I will resist. With a renewed commitment and your support, I will succeed.

Thank you for being here at RN and allowing me to express myself. You mean the world to me. You make this journey possible.

Together we will succeed


I think you're doing great Bob. To go so far is a great achievement and the relapse is a reminder that we are human after all. Get back on the wagon and hold your head up.


Active Member
Thank you for posting this.  Your brutal honesty is the best way to handle it.  You're not lying to yourself....  you're not "justifying".  Your dealing with it head on.  That takes balls.  I salute you.




Respected Member
Thank you for your comments.

Free, I appreciate you thoughts. I am back on the wagon. Glad to be back, even though it still bumps along. It seems to be going in the right direction.

Poker, you comment blew me away. It makes me feel proud of what I have accomplished and confirms I am moving in the right direction. Thank you very much.

I would be kidding if I say I don't check for comments after a post. Its hard to post what we truly feel. We are all human. We crave the response and confirmation of being heard. We all want to feel that what we have to say is important. We all want to be able to make a difference.

I reach out to those of you who have been thinking about starting a journal and I encourage you to take that first step.

Write down your thoughts. Say what you are thinking. Open yourself up to a world that is diligent in its support and wants you to succeed. Porn doesn't have to take over your life. You can live without it. The live you will live will be more amazing.

Take a chance...


Hey Bob....good to read your journal again.

Let's take it through the end of the year no pmo.

That's the direction I am heading.....

Hope all is well with you.



Active Member
Bob I love your posts. Talking about the slopes, and the edge, is exactly how I feel. I'm always  on the edge,and any trigger seems to send me spiraling out of control,  at least for a while. Then finally I get a grip, and think what the hell am I doing, or start making excuses  for myself. We need to be committed,  to getting our brains healed. Anyways, thank you for posting


Respected Member
Guys, it's like I am talking to old friends again when I open this up and see your comments. Thanks so much. They are truly appreciated.

Met with a counselor today. Seems like it might work well. Talked about the struggles I am having with work and porn but we didn't dwell on porn. She really seemed to feel that the porn was more of an escape from my frustrations at work then the main issuer or problem. While I am still working on a PMO free life, I can agree with her. PMO seems to be where I run when I can't take my life. It's my escape mechanism.

Well, not anymore. I'm moving out of the old self, the one that clings to PMO as a crutch. I don't need something that feels good to assure myself that I am good.

I'm OK. Not perfect. Not sure anyone is, but; I'm OK.

Peace to you dear brothers


it's great to read your posts Bob,
you sound more determined than ever before. I admire your energy and confidence in how you get yourself together, and start over again. Keep feeling good about yourself, the rest will follow.
Thanks for sharing.



Respected Member
Thanks Hope,

Sometimes I'm surprised when I read my own post; did I really say that? Am I really that self assured?

I do know what I want and I am working in that direction. I only hope that I can continue my growth and understanding of this whole process. It has such potential, so much promise. It is the strengthening of the connections between the ones I love and my new life which give me the reasons to continue.

Not there 100% but i am 100% committed to continue.

Peace brothers and sisters


Respected Member
Just a note to say that I am continuing with my goal. Haven't stopped by for a while but you folks are forever in my thoughts.  I'm moving forward, making progress and growing; all at the same time.

Hope all the best for everyone that is here. And, I encourage folks that have not yet committed to a journal to come forward and join us as we all work together. I know I speak for many here that would say, "you will be glad you did."

Peace brothers and sisters


Respected Member
Nope, I am here for the long haul, Jaystock. But the process can?t be my life.

Don't get me wrong. I owe so much to this site and all of you folks. I honestly believe I would still be spending over 15 hours a week PMO'ing if it wasn't for Reboot Nation and  YBOP. I?d be surfing, late at night, hurrying home after work, getting up early in the morning, anytime I could get away from the one I love. That's just plain crazy-stupid. But that's the way it was before your influence.

I owe so much to all of you for your strength and support.

I am just not able to be here as frequent as I have in the past. I found that I was spending way too much time hanging out on this site, checking it multiple times a day and not getting out, not moving forward. I don't want to swap my dependency on PMO for the need to spend excessive amounts of time trying to over think this addiction.

I understand what constitutes this addiction, what it does, and how it grabs on and doesn't let go. But excessive time on the Internet leaves me open to think about places I have been, places I shouldn?t go. Dwelling on past, rehashing old thoughts, desires, and fantasies is counterproductive for me. The more I am on-line struggling, the more opportunities I have to check out sites that include those women and their scantly clad bodies. Turns out I can find those women on the most innocuous sites. Doesn?t matter. I see them and I start to ramp up. The more I imagine, the more I struggle.

I don't want to go there. I'm not that strong yet. I need to spend as much time disconnected as I can get. Those neurotransmitters need time to relax and ?smooth out the rough spots.? And why should I temp myself with pixels when I have the real thing at home. I need to devote my energy to my wife. She is the one I love. She has one of those amazingly soft bodies. And at night I can get naked and snuggle up against her, our naked forms rubbing against each other. What could be better than that? I need to reprogram with the real thing.

My goal is a life without PMO. I can do it. I have lots I want to accomplish. I just have to stay away from the Internet. I may not be here as frequently as I have but I am still with you guys. Together we will work on this. I just have to temper my visits to the web.

Thank you for your understanding. I will be here. I will continue to visit. I just have to watch how I do this whole thing.

This has to be forever.