33 Days.
Yesterday I had a very weird experience and I did not like it. A friend from abroad dragged me to a Strip Club. When I was Young, I would be totally excited about that. Now I just thought it was weird and I never ever want to go to a Strip Club again in my entire life. that friend and I were just sitting there.
But it was a great learning experience as well because I finally understood emotionally what yourbrainonporn is trying to tell us for a Long time: Stripclubs, porn and Hookers are not really about women. That is the Illusion. It is about getting high on Dopamin, followed by some Depression afterwards.
I was really observing myself yesterday and I always noticed how my brain really wanted to get on a high. but since I was in observing mode, I did not have any binge Feelings.
So These are my thoughts:
Watching These Things once in life and going there once in life does not matter but in my case it does matter because I have been there. It is time to say good bye. And the next time I have a weak Moment and want to pmo and mo to Bikini women I Need to tell myself that I Forget about the real life.
I was having an interesting conversation with someone here on this Forum and I also told him that I really feel like I am depleting my energy resources If I am consuming porn, etc....
If we jerk off, then only to real life People. But the best Version is to just not touch our best friend unless it is for washing. It is best to leave it up a woman that loves us and that we love.
Furthermore learning from this experience, I also want to very quickly go back into normal mode and follow what I love doing at work and be there for my Family.
Even though still - I do not understand why I liked Strip Clubs when I was Young. I found Strip Clubs to be worse than porn. and it also seems stupid why waste Money on somebody taking off their clothes if we can get it for free.
My porn Career was as follows: as a 15 year I would watch Bikini pics. at 25 I would watch regular porn. at 27 I would visit some Hookers and at 29 I basically stopped any porn and Hookers. Overall I sometimes would watch at Bikini pics but I realized - yes indeed it took me longer - it seems wrong that a Family dad would look at Bikini pics. I am a dad now and so I just want to leave it.
the reason why I love my dad so much is because I do not think he was a consumer of porn. Maybe once or twice in his life but he always put his Family and his Career Forward. to him Family and Career were most important. He was a straightforward man and this is why I so deeply respect my dad. So I want to be like my dad. In his life, I do not think that porn ever played a role in his life nor addictive Patterns.
I only realized that I had some strange Patterns by the time I was married.
In Marriage we never find a perfect Partner, but what Counts is what we make of it.
I also realized that we enrich our existences if we do Things for other People. Like last week. I cooked a big meal for a couple of People and everyone really like it. As a consequence this made me really happy. In sharp contrast to that, porn does not do anything to us. It temporarily Lifts our mood to some higher state and then afterwards it falls to some lower state.
so to conclude: first Thing: It is important to be honest to ourselves. Second Thing: We do Things for other People. Third Thing: consumption of sexual Stimulation unless with a Partner we fuck our lives up.