Had to spend time with someone today.
I made many efforts to bring her into the team.
But she had nothing but negative things to say. All negatives. Only want things her way. Everyone else is wrong.
Of course it's so easy to dislike this person. Toxic is the word.
And yet, I have pity for her.
She must be so low on her dopamine scale that everything is terrible in her eyes. She is unable to see opportunity and effort, unable to receive kindness and warmth, unable to generate gratitude and generosity.
Her life is so miserable, and yet she does not know. A living hell. Unliked by others, I'm sure she doesn't like herself very much too.
I empathize because I was once very much like her. Deep in depression. trying so hard, often too hard. No sense of place or self. Perhaps I still am. But I know I'm saying more nice and positive things these days.
It's all too easy to dislike her. And for a while before I wrote this, I did. But I only have sympathy for her now.
No one can save themselves but themselves. I will not attempt to save her too. I will keep a respectful distance and attempt to let her negative words pass through me without sticking.
Wish me luck!
This is part of reboot because I can pause to think more before reacting. I am calmer and more forgiving than before. And most importantly, unaffected by others.