unchained
Active Member
So very true. I always chase the "just one more look" and hours pass.All I know is this - there will always be a reason for one more look but it'll will never satisfy.
So very true. I always chase the "just one more look" and hours pass.All I know is this - there will always be a reason for one more look but it'll will never satisfy.
I made it two days. Uncomfortable, awkward, unsettling, but I made two-days. The only thing that I can say is that I can feel the energy within my veins. There is a difference.So very true. I always chase the "just one more look" and hours pass.
Cool. So the neat thing about this book is, you don't stop PMO while you're reading it. Just do your normal usage, but read the book a few times.Than you Carl_smith I have read a few chapters and seems very good so far.
I feel like I'm stuck in third person shooter mode. Watching myself. Everything is annoying me lately, I just want someone to talk with me and listen, but the irony is that I'm the person that ppl come to when they need to talk. Believe it or not i'm quite a positive person, but my secret porn addiction has me literally by the balls.
I have had some successful streaks (At the time I didn't see the progress or benefits) band now I would give anything for that time again.
I have a few days left in work then I have a few months off so i'm hopeful i can try again.
Well.....my father passed away two-weeks ago and my biggest regret is that i never managed to break free from porn and be a complete human being.
Now i'm faced with so much pain its hard to go on. Porn, or whatever you choose is the great escspe, at least for awhile.
I think about this addiction that i have, and know that it is now massive. I've made every excuse to justify using porn, but there is nothing left.
*triggers* I look back at my last sexual encounter with a friend (we've had a few previous one night things, she's married) i saw the opportunity and she came home with me (she just wants me, so its easy, too easy, one day we'll fuck up i"m sure), but i'll be honest i could not get erect. She asked what she could do, so being hammered, i said bend over and i rubbed one out on her a$$. I felt so bad and never thought i would be such an asshole. I used her, and used me, and all this just causes pain.
Her husband was once my best friend, and he came to my fathers funeral a week later and my heart sunk. He told me i was a great son to my Dad. I felt so bad, what have i become.
I've hit rock bottom without my Dad.
I need help and i need advice. I'm lost.
What do i do?
Any help appreciated even the hard stuff
Absolutely, a momentum can be built and it needs to be built in order to make things going with porn recovery. As much as I hate the "one day at a time" thing that a lot of people say (and that's only because I struggle with the idea of one day at a time, I think too much about the future), it happens to be true: We can be porn free forever, one day at a time.I honestly have never really admitted to myself that i am a porn addict. I've acknowledged the fact that i watched to much and that i absolutely fn love it, and there is always a part of me that thought i could control this. Its a funny one, because, in my case anyway, after a few hours of regret for the latest relapse, i will always pick myself up and think i'm the cat that got the cream.
The "absolutely fn love porn" statement...well i will admit thats true and thats why i do it, and that has to be a fact because why else use porn every day? It makes me feel good and i've got a to a point where i couldnt care if i die as long as i can have my porn.
But i'm no fool either and i know thats my addict brain talking. But i have two very different sides. I'm actually a nice guy, quite smart, great with numbers, can fix anything, good job, fit as a fiddle (i run, i swim, i'm training for a triathlon,) from the outside you would think i have it made. But its not like that, i want it all, i'm a greedy self indulgent pig too
I sometimes quit for say a week or so but that 7 day itch of that craving comes and it always seems like a great idea to pmo.
Do I absolutely love porn? Yeah, but i also absolutely fn hate it.
The only shining light is that every day can be, if you want, a fresh start. Sometimes one day clean is just enough for the moment.
Good, celebrate it in your own unique way and treat yourself with something, whatever that may be....I have somehow managed a week free pf porn...a lot of the time struggling with cravings but i've kept busy and anyway about a week free