Doing things differently this time

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 49 PMO free
7 weeks

Being free from porn is great but I still have my battles in life and recovery. Being porn sober gives me the ability to grow and change though, when I was lost in porn I could mostly only distract. I have much more hope, happiness and confidence today.

It’s been so nice to explore places around me and experience things differently, porn steals so much from us. I’m going to listen to a recovery podcast or two today, sometimes I need to remind myself how bad it was for me and that I still need to take things seriously.

Good luck all

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 51 PMO free

I’m on the way home from a couple of nights camping. It’s been really good for me, I feel more mellow and calm, my perspective is better.

I’ve done some reflecting on my inner child type of stuff and it’s been kind of powerful. I spent my childhood in mass anxiety and it’s helpful to see it’s effect on me and know what triggers me.

I’m looking forward to getting home now. Feeling pretty good

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 52 PMO free

It’s just so nice to know that porn isn’t in my life right now, a time I think about it but I try to distract quickly, I’m not perfect at this but I am improving.

my anxiety is better and above all I feel a potential for growth within myself that I had completely lost through seeking comfort in porn. I have a lot of healing to do but I am healing and that is great.

Stay strong all

 

[TryingHarder]

Closing in on 60 days. Keep crushing it, Qwertyxyz!

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Closing in on 60 days. Keep crushing it, Qwertyxyz!

Thanks man,
Your support is much appreciated

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 53 PMO free

I realised this morning how much porn took from my self awareness, I remember times where I was very introspective and had a lot of light bulb moments where I learned something about what makes me tick. As my porn/MO got worse I would still often journal but I stopped having insights and just distracted myself instead.

I’m starting to get that sense of self awareness back and it is very nice. Porn took away my sense of awareness, power and control in my life.

I don’t advertise that I’m in porn recovery but I’m not actually that worried about people finding out. I was deeply secretive about my porn use but now aren’t super fazed if people know that I’m in recovery. If I use again I know the shame will come right back.

Recovery is good, I still have a lot of healing to do but I feel that I can actually do it today.

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 54 PMO free

Doing alright, I think I feel a little flatline but I also feel content. Counting the days reminds me to be patient, the last 7 years I’ve lived alone and there has been no checks on my porn use, I would celebrate one day away from porn if I could do it. My brain has a lot of heavy use to recover from and it will take time.

I am progressing through and it’s great. I have checked myself of the intrusive porn style fantasies that I get (mostly in the morning) and while they are comforting they are damaging me and hurt my recovery. I am feeling more pleasure from non porn stuff which is nice and there is an anxiety that has relaxed.

Be kind to yourselves out there

 

[Qwertyxyz]

55 days PMO free

I’m seeing how much anxiety I cause myself. I need to be much more moderated and sensible in how I live my life. When I’m wiped out I have more urges and I don’t like that. I’m understanding my triggers a lot more and taking better care of myself.

Happily porn sober and looking forward to get 60 days of recovery up.

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 56 PMO free

feeling alright today, I was pretty flat yesterday, a little depressed I think. Change takes time and I’m doing my best to build good habits. I feel like I’m doing well but there is a lot from the past for me to work through.

Back to work on Thursday, i fee positive about it

 

[Androg]

Day 56 PMO free

feeling alright today, I was pretty flat yesterday, a little depressed I think. Change takes time and I’m doing my best to build good habits. I feel like I’m doing well but there is a lot from the past for me to work through.

Back to work on Thursday, i fee positive about it

Unfortunately, recovery is not linear. This means you will have ups and downs, and that they are normal. Welcome to life.

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 57 PMO free

Have been exercising more frequently and it’s great for me. Exercise is something I struggle to do as much of as I should, I’m trying to be more realistic about my goals, I don’t need to run a marathon just get the heart rate up.

Once again this forum has reminded me to be patient, when I tried recovery alone I did not have perspective and got impatient after a week or a few days and that relapsed. I know 90 days is talked about a lot and I’m keen to get there, but I know the journey is longer than that.

It’s always good to listen to recovery audio, even when I’m running well it reinforces my resolve and makes me a bit more disciplined and hopeful of growth and change.

Good luck in recovery

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 58 PMO free

Closing in on 60 days! It feels both like a long time and a short time. I still have intrusive porn fantasies but understand that there is always a stress trigger that causes them. I’m trying to live a more aware, organised, moderated life and it helps.

I’m trying to make peace with my past, I grew up extremely lonely and blamed myself for it, I thought I had no worth to anyone else and that has really affected me. I know I’m worthwhile today and I am liked and respected.

I’m nervous about heading back to work but also excited. I’m feeling positive about the future.

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 59 PMO free

I feel pretty good today, I’m back at work and am feeling happy and supported. Work and a few other things have thrown some challenges at me lately and it’s very nice to feel things levelling out. My mental health was pretty funky for a while there and I’m still feeling a bit vulnerable but I am definitely recovering.

I know as I feel better and more confident those intrusive thoughts will become less and less, life sure is interesting.

good luck out there

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 60 PMO free

I’m glad to have the time up, and it’s such an achievement as I’ve have quite a few ups and downs in that time. It’s great to feel a change in myself, more confident, more adventurous, more hopeful.

It’s early days of my recovery and I still feel a bit of brain fog and have intrusive porn thoughts, but I’m happy and feel so much more hope.

Thanks for everyone who has contributed to this site, your stories have helped me. My next thing is to continue to challenge my social anxiety, I can keep myself to seperate sometimes and I’m cautious to a fault, but it’s great that I can do something about that today

 

[TryingHarder]

Excellent news, Qwertyxyz! 60 days is a great milestone. Keep crushing it!

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 61 PMO free

I’m doing alright but I’ve had a lot of intrusive thoughts about sex lately, I think they’re a bit persistent because I’m a bit stressed. I’ve had a lot of anxiety in my life and haven’t medicated, I’ve had a lot of success in managing it but also not and I’ve used a lot of PMO to self soothe.

It’s nice to acknowledge my anxiety as a thing that is affecting me and not something I just distract from. I had a bit of an autistic break down at work last month and have just returned, it’s going well but I feel very raw and it confronting, as I get my confidence back I’ll get better.

sometimes I worry about my brain, I’m autistic for one and have had huge amounts of anxiety, stress, and depression in my life, and my porn use was heavy and I lived alone so no-one checked me.

But I know the brain can heal, and I’ve bounced back from break downs in the past. I’m glad I can be patient with myself today, when I push to hard on myself I always end up a mess.

 

[Androg]

Day 61 PMO free

I’m doing alright but I’ve had a lot of intrusive thoughts about sex lately, I think they’re a bit persistent because I’m a bit stressed. I’ve had a lot of anxiety in my life and haven’t medicated, I’ve had a lot of success in managing it but also not and I’ve used a lot of PMO to self soothe.

It’s nice to acknowledge my anxiety as a thing that is affecting me and not something I just distract from. I had a bit of an autistic break down at work last month and have just returned, it’s going well but I feel very raw and it confronting, as I get my confidence back I’ll get better.

sometimes I worry about my brain, I’m autistic for one and have had huge amounts of anxiety, stress, and depression in my life, and my porn use was heavy and I lived alone so no-one checked me.

But I know the brain can heal, and I’ve bounced back from break downs in the past. I’m glad I can be patient with myself today, when I push to hard on myself I always end up a mess.

It’s good you are being gentle with yourself.

Remember to be grateful for the gifts that your atypical brain has also brought you.

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 62 PMO free

I’ve been up and down over the last 24 hours but am levelling out. I really do have a lot to process. Looking at some inner child stuff to get in touch with what makes me tick.

 

[Androg]

Keep slogging.

 

[Qwertyxyz]

Day 63 PMO free

I feel better today, bouncing back from a break down at work is hard, there’s nerves and anxiety, and it’s tiring. I feel like I’ve let go of a lot of tension today and that is great, I feel my confidence and sense of safety coming back. I sometimes try to hard at work to prove myself and end up making mistakes or completely exhausting myself.

I am way to cagey but have been opening up more and more. I have said so before but I work on an oil rig so I’m out here doing 12 hour days, no days off for 3 weeks straight. It can be very demanding and I have to really take care of myself but often have are too tired to do as much as I want.

going well today though, taking it one day at a time.