As I mentioned previously, I have a plan and it's work in progress at the moment. I'm trusting the process.
This does not mean that the time that I'm spending executing my processes for a better life is not a frustrating one - not least due to what happened in the past.
I would say, apart from couple of habits, I spend my time productively: learning (for career reasons), working, and, of course, relaxing. (it can't be all about the previous two.)
As I mentioned previously, I'm currently going through hardmode and I have no urge whatsoever to use Porn.
In fact, porn, in the past few days in particular, has been on the back burner - this is because I am currently worried about another hobbie that I have that might stall my progress to recover from PIED and un-numb my brain from dopamine.
And this hobbie is gambling.
I'm very confused about gambling. I'm not in dangerous of losing money as I only do offers that are risk free (free bets, for example) and if m not doing risk free offers, it is because I'm simply staking part of the winnings of the risk free offers. (therefore risk free.)
However, this "reward" seeking habit, which can be done any day, due to the online promotion business that's busy, and therefore I'm spending a lot of my time searching for the next bit of money that I can make. (This is whether taking up risk free casino bonuses during the week, or placing some bets on sports at the weekend. It's none ending cycle.)
As I mentioned, I'm not in danger of wasting my own money (I have a zero policy of using my own money!), but it's just this reward seek habit that's worrying me. It's maybe increasing or maintained my my dopamine levels, which I need to lower and not raise.
Mind wise, I would say that I'm a lot more positive now, but sometimes i worry. Especially when I read about PIED and find out more about its scientific facts.
My typical daily routine is like this:
6:30 - wake up, meditate for 10 minutes and prepare/ go to work. I take the bus and read the course materials of my degree that I'm doing online.
9-5 - work, can be stressful but mostly good right now.
5-6 - I take the bus to go home, I spend it reading my course that I'm doing online. (psychology)
6-8 - chores, eat and carry on studying.
9-10 - a little bit of entertainment/relaxation. (music, educational youtube videos, etc.) Prepare for bed and meditation.
On Saturday, work is replaced by the gym.
On Sunday, work/gym is replaced by me simply going out and seeing the world. (nothing amazing, just the city centre.) This is the only time of the week that I get free time for myself where I can do some leisurely socializing. But by socialising , I don't mean with anyone, I mean just being around with people( but not talking to them). Unfortunately I have to be back home by 5-6 as the buses don't operate after 6:30 on Sunday evenings.
Unfortunately my time and amount of hobbies that I can do is restricted as I'm relying on public transport and it takes about an hour from where I'm living in a village to get to the city. (Cambridge)
My life is too repetitive at the moment. But there's nothing much I can do as I'm a bit isolateld without a car and living in a village. Not to mention about not having close friends. All I can do at the moment is work on myself (education and general personal growth ) and make as much money as possible. (work and gambling promotion offers)
The process of my plan would progress further at the start of November when I will be starting my search for a job in London, with the view of hopefully starting a new job there in January 2018. Getting a job in London means that I can relocate there and will be living with my two siblings there. (which is better than living with your mother in an isolated village.) Obviously moving to London, with it being busy and more novel, will break up the routine and repetitiveness of my life. (which hopefully would "fix" my brain somewhat!) And obviously will have more chance of meeting girls there. (Even though it will be unrealistic to bring them back home as I would still be living with family.)
BTW, I'm not religious, and have no interest in that side of life.
I also eat 90%-95% healthy food. (and have been doing it, together with the gym habit, for the last 11 years now.)
I am open to new hobbies, but at the moment I'm not sure where I would find time for them as I have higher priorities. (my online course.)
And btw, I don't believe there are a lot of virgins out there who are my age!